I Have Never...

I have never touched the legs above me.

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"This is that human freedom, which all boast that they possess, and which consists solely in the fact, that men are conscious of their own desire, but are ignorant of the causes whereby that desire has been determined." -Baruch Spinoza

I have never gotten a light from the person above me

I have never done ballet.

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"I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?"

I have never skied topless

I have never seen Gabberjaw ski topless.

I have never had implants

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

I have never been to Australia

I have never been to NY

I have never had fake boobs

I have never eaten a meat pie

I have never gone golfing.

I have never refused to eat freshly baked homemade apple pie mmmmmmmmmmmm And of course with ice cream. Oh and just out of the oven. And the ice cream has to be vanilla. And the crust flaky. Ok i'll shut up.

I have never eaten a sausage roll

I have never shaved my head.

I have never licked a lightbulb.

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I have never ran around the block naked

I have never

I have


I have never broke a bone in my body.

I have never had my nose pierced

I have never had a tatoo