Long Distance Relationships

Anyone here that's having one or had one in the past?? I'm having a long distance relationship with an american girl (I'm in Sweden) and it sucks. I can't remember the last time I was as unhappy as I have been the past month and especially the past few days. Really... I don't know what to do with myself.

So, what do you guys say? Any thoughts? Experiences you'd like to share??

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The novelist does not long to see the lion eat grass. He realizes that one and the same God created the wolf and the lamb, then smiled, "seeing that his work was good".

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They had temporarily escaped the factories, the warehouses, the slaughterhouses, the car washes - they'd be back in captivity the next day but now they were out - they were wild with freedom. They weren't thinking about the slavery of poverty. Or the slavery of welfare and food stamps. The rest of us would be all right until the poor learned how to make atom bombs in their basements.

Total agreement here! I really feel for you!

Yeah, it sure sucks.... Thanks for your support. Are you in the same position perhaps??

Pid, i'm a big beliver in "living in the moment"...life is not chock-full of happiness, but its the moments in between that make it all worthwhile

close relationships are hard enough to keep together, long distance ones are just asking for troubles....so long as you enjoy and live in the happiness of the moments when you two are able to be together, and keep them lovingly in your heart, then find a way to get on with your life when you're apart, you can be ok

there's not enough time in this world to be sad...chin up...and remember, if it gets too hard, do what is right for YOU

i feel for you

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"So you take me for what I am...a psychopathic, schizophrenic, serial-killing, femme fatale?"

Yeah I know how you feel. You stay up all night talking , sharing information and generally having the time of your life and then it's over. Oh well. Anyway, my girlfriend lives me so i'm ok.

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instrumental rock band that I am in.

Pid, how long for you, man? I've been in one for just over a year now (also with someone in US). It doesn't get any easier but sometimes it's more 'real' than life outside cyberspace.

For about a year now. I'm totally ok with it even if I long for her so much, and I know she's coming here this summer. But some things have happened the past month that has hurt me so much. And I know it's the result of the distance between her and me.

Just picture this. My Internet connection went to hell at the same time as her phone stopped working. Big deal, you think. There are a number of ways to solve that. That's what I thought too which made me wonder why the **** I almost didn't hear from her at all for a month. Well, now I know why...

It's not at all what you think at the same time that it's much worse than you think.

Confusing?? You bet!!

It's nice hearing from you all. I really appreciate it. Thank you guys!

Yes, once. I feel for ya', man. It's tough. What else is there to say?

I was in a long distance relationship for over a year. The biggest thing is trust. Has this girl or you made any attempt to see one another. It can happen if you both want it to, but if not, you should think about other options.
I didn't talk to this guy for a couple of months and I found out through is cousin that he had died. He was only 15 years old.

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Seek me, for comfort, call me, for Solace, I'll be waiting, for the end of my broken heart..

Plus a lady fan of PimpDaShizzle V2.0 and Most importantly JRS

I’m sorry you’ve been so unhappy Piddy… I’ve never had a long distance relationship but have friends who have had… the ones who had successful relationships really had to work at them though… and not just via the internet or phone. They wrote letters, exchanged pictures and cards a lot too… one of my friends said that it helped to have something the other one had physically touched… I hope everything works out the way you want it too…


Moviefan, I'm sorry about your friend...

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Not confusing at all -- I know exactly what you mean. I know that feeling, and it's not a good one. I don't know that this is particularly helpful advice, but the one thing I learned through a similar situation (from the sound of things) is that you ought to trust your instincts above most of your other impulses.

If you ever wanna talk about this in any form -- email, IM, PM -- I'm here, man. I can definitely relate and I'm more than willing to be on the receiving end of a rant or vent, if need be. Hang in there.

Pid, I get days when it's really rough and when events happen that you have no control over, like no internet access, it seems to get worse. I had no contact for a short time, I can't imagine a month! But, as n7of9 said, you have to enjoy what time you do have. It's hard enough with the distance.
I'm not the easiest person to get along with even in close proximity, yet it's lasted this long. The way we figure it, we know each other on the inside which has more meaning than just a physical attraction. We're taking it day by day.
Like Yoda, if you need to talk to someone that is in a similar situation, don't hesitate to contact me by e-mail or PM.

Dear Pid,

Must always have a way to contact each other either through family members or friends, have to exchange those phone no's. A month is a long time to wait all sorts of things can be going on in your mind and that can be hard as we always think the worst.

Glad things are back on track, take care

Not really, but I can sure imagine it must suck! Take it easy, bro!

I was once in a long distance relaitonship but i just wasnt committed enough to make it last. They are hard work, extremely hard work. The only way they will last is if you trust each other fully, are madly in love and are dedicated in making it work.

Its a sad fact that they mostly fail BUT the fact is if you want them too, they can last a lifetime. I do feel for ya Pid but if you are so unhappy you have to think is it all for the best? and if it is then work for it, work for your happiness and enjoy the time you have.

I know that I'm this unhappy only because I love her so much and that I'm now so afraid that I'm going to lose her. If I was observing this relationship from outside I would shout in my own ear "GET OUT!!!" but it's completely impossible. I owe my life to this girl. I'm nothing without her. Before I met her I had no ambitions in life and up til now I've felt like I have been given not only a second chance, but also a gift from the gods and more than I could ever possibly have asked for. And now I feel like I'm about to lose it all. I will never be the one who leaves. Never.

Damn. I can't believe I'm being so open to you guys. I guess it's because I hate to talk about my inner feelings but at the same time I really need to. It's easier on here I think.

Thank you so much for your support and your advices. All of you. Posting here has raised my spirit somewhat these days and some of you make me laugh for a little while. It feels good.

If I may offer an old man's wisdom...

Life most often takes it's own course despite planning from us. I've yet to have a plan that ever worked out. More, it's about a desire and will to head in a direction and if it's meant to be then the details will work out.

Sit back, relax and focus on the things that you can change and modify this moment.

Fretting about the future (even tomorrow) will only cause you grief.

You're a good person Piddy, it radiates from your words... what is meant to be will happen for you and in the end you will be happy either way.

Relax, enjoy what you have and stop fretting.

I wish i had that mind set. I worry about everything.
I have seen long distant relationships be the worst and best things. How well do you know this person? Do you feel that there is a future there? If you don't already, can you or are you willing to make a committment? How do you, yourself, feel?
Like a lot of people have said already, trust is the main thing here.
I really would hate to see you invest all your time into this person and she would screw you over int the long run. Find out how she feels and compare to yours. See where it goes from there.
Best of luck to you

It's a choice. I used to worry too... it makes no difference to the outcome.

I don't know, Toose, not to worry is easier said than done. Take it from someone who's also older, but none the wiser.