And from my perspective it just hurt the family bond more than anything. Not because of the parting of my parents, but because they think Their bond with their children (me and my brother) will fade. I was 20 at the time, This was last spring. I had no job, so I had to move in with my dad, as my mom could not afford to rent a big enough flat too house and feed me.
And so she started acting all odd, like I wasn't a part of her life anymore, just because I didn't live under the same roof. I've tried explaining that a soon to be 22 year old should not even be living with either of his parents. But of course that's not even on her radar. She lost her "baby"..
For some time I think she felt that she'd "lost" me, along with her ex-husband. Luckily she's found a new man, which has been great to her. Been to his house, and he has 2-3 kids of various ages himself. I'm thinking maybe this has helped her "recuperate" from the "loss" of her own children.
And so she started acting all odd, like I wasn't a part of her life anymore, just because I didn't live under the same roof. I've tried explaining that a soon to be 22 year old should not even be living with either of his parents. But of course that's not even on her radar. She lost her "baby"..
For some time I think she felt that she'd "lost" me, along with her ex-husband. Luckily she's found a new man, which has been great to her. Been to his house, and he has 2-3 kids of various ages himself. I'm thinking maybe this has helped her "recuperate" from the "loss" of her own children.
But having your mom call you piss drunk on a Tuesday saying she's contemplating on taking her life is no fun.
I think the point of this story is that I have nothing against marriage, just the end that usually follows. My brother who's two years older than me has one child, and another on the way, and they're already stated that they will separate (they are not married though). So yeah.. As I said earlier, the track record for marriages within my family tree isn't exactly encouraging me to marry
Thing is, you can imagine all the bad things that can happen in any event. Have children and they may die (as my son did a few years ago). Go to the beach and you may drown. Go for a ride and you may be crippled or killed in an auto accident. Sit on your butt and never go anywhere and life passes you by. Or you can just as easily imagine the good things that come from committing to someone you love. Believe me, it's not the same as living together, because it's so easy to leave. You start working on a divorce and it gives you time to think and time to realize how intertwined and dependent a married couple may be. As I have discovered at times to my regret, marriage is a lot harder to get out of than it is to get into. But the last time I tried, I came to my senses in a week and moved back home.
Best thing is keep an open mind and learn from other people's mistakes. You're not your dad, you're not your mom, you're not your brother. So why should you fail just because they couldn't make it?