WHEREAS celebrities tend to name their offspring ridiculous and/or tongue-twisting things like Peaches and Tiger Lily Leilani (Bob Geldof and Paula Yates), Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow), and Phinneas (Julia Roberts), thereby ensuring their crippling isolation and heartless teasing in school, and
WHEREAS Britney Spears is bound to give her inevitable brood names straight out of a VC Andrews novel (Heaven Leigh, Honey Ice, Curious Yellow),
THEREFORE I do decree that all celebrities be sterilized upon receiving their Screen Actors Guild card or their first record contract.
Signed this day of 8 December 2004,
ash_is_the_gal
WHEREAS Britney Spears is bound to give her inevitable brood names straight out of a VC Andrews novel (Heaven Leigh, Honey Ice, Curious Yellow),
THEREFORE I do decree that all celebrities be sterilized upon receiving their Screen Actors Guild card or their first record contract.
Signed this day of 8 December 2004,
ash_is_the_gal
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