+6
"20"
MovieMeditation presents...
HIS FILM DIARY 2015
The year is no spelling mistake
total movie count ........... viewing day count
284 .......................... 341
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December 8th
—— 2004 ——
HOME on the RANGE
—— garbage ——
DISNEY CLASSIC no.45
At first I was going to call it an utter embarrassment
but honestly it feels more like a total insult
I wish I could say, that ‘Home on the Range’ merely range from mediocre to horrible… only it doesn’t. ‘Home on the Range’ doesn’t range from anything really… instead it just seems perfectly at home in a single, simple location of pale and pathetic proportions. At its best, ‘Home on the Range’ is not even represented. At its worst, ‘Home on the Range’ is the single representative in sh*t town – population: 1 sh*tty-ass movie.
I don’t know what Disney was thinking with this, I honestly don’t. They have fallen so far down the ladder of success that they pitifully try to rip-off the animation style of the likes of Looney Tunes, and end up with a worse result than Michael Jackson after all his plastic surgery… I mean, Michael he pales in comparison to how bad of a job Disney did here… And well, that anything “pales” in comparison to Michael’s visual appearance might not be the greatest argument ever, I just realize that. But uh, anyways, the point is that this movie is the lowest Disney has ever went to date. Holy cow…
The animation is half-assed and lazy, and the story is so straightforward, that the two of them are battling each other for the “most simple outline ever” award… This is an out-and-out insult of a movie, that should have just stayed out… out of production, out of even being thought up, if there was even any thought involved at all to begin with. This stupid “cow movie” doesn’t even deserve a review, but it needs a proper ROAST, that’s for sure – and I’ll take that well-done, please, I want to make sure it’s completely dead. But then again, the characters are so thin and empty in this movie, I don’t even know if you could cut a decent steak out of it… I would sure love to slice into it though with a blunt butter knife – but that’s probably the producers that needs cutting more than anything. They better have their paycheck cut off immediately, at the least, before I step in and do the cutting for them… and I’m not talking about paychecks.
But I mean, why did Disney even try to take on boring farm animals as their next great hero? I have seen people take on farm animals in more interesting ways than this… only that isn’t exactly legal. Making a movie like ‘Home on the Range’ is somehow perfectly legal though. WOW. I mean, HOW THE COW is that so? I would rather sit through another “middle eastern home video”, filmed in Farmville, then I would ever endure this movie again. Watching ‘Home on the Range’ though, it’s no joke anymore bro... Watching ‘Home on the Range’, YOU are the violated animal. My senses feel violated, my brain feels artistically assaulted and because I decided to watch every Disney Classic ever, I had to endure this one and felt forced to do so more than anything.
I’m thankful and glad for one thing though… and that is the fact that Disney wasn’t dryhumping dollars out of me, because I never paid a single penny for this sh*t– unlike the thousands of kids and their families out there, who got screwed over, and are now scarred for life and must cope with this terrible experience. Bring in the family doctor... Bring in the local psychologist... No one walks away from ‘Home on the Range’ unmarked… NO ONE.
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Last edited by MovieMeditation; 08-03-17 at 03:19 PM.