The MoFo Support Group

Thank you. I've had to be strong and i feel like i've grown stronger these past few months. I turned 28 this month,i do feel i've experienced losing my husband too soon but there's nothing i can do, i have to carry on so i've thrown all my energy into my training ☺.

Many happy returns for your birthday, Dannii.

Ahhhhhh thank you Dani☺.

From another perspective: it's got to be this way in order to have a life of any meaning, growth, purpose or significance.

Imagine if every time something happened you didn't like you could just hit rewind and redo. Nothing would have any meaning. Nothing in life would ever be important or worth striving for. The stakes would never be high because there would be no stakes. We only get one shot in life - that's why it's got to matter - everything we do, every single step we take has got to matter because there are no second chances.

Since every step is crucial that's why we try to develop our skills and strength and knowledge - to build one ability upon the next so each next shot has better odds of succeeding. But take away the risk, provide an endless number of do-overs... and there's no point in developing or even taking any shots.

There are no unimportant moments because none of us can go back and redo to correct our mistakes. And without mistakes and the true pain they bring (without an option to go back and delete them), we can't really learn or grow. It's a good thing that life is not like a video game because if it were, then we would only be like game players staring at a screen and stuck in eternal loops of do-overs instead of being real people.

Wow I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that. Stuff like that makes me feel I should just shut up and be happy with what I've got. Hope you're managing ok, or at least as well as is possible given the circumstances

Thanks mate. And to be honest I'd love if I'd just lived it up everyday; at least that would be something. I stopped going to school pretty much just as I turned 14 and to be honest I feel I've been stuck in that spot ever since. And yet more than 15 years have now gone by and I feel that my life and the world have just passed me by. Where the f*ck did that time go? I've now been alive longer after that moment than before it and still feel no closer to being 'normal'.

As I said if I'd just lived it up everyday without accomplishing anything too important that would still be something. Hell I'd love to have had experiences that others would consider negative such as having my heart broken by a girl. At least I'd have experienced something instead of just watching from my window as stuff happens to everyone else

As I said I feel this thought has been stuck with me for a while and life isn't exactly helping. Last night I just happened to stumble upon Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring on TV and it just took me flashing right back to that time as the film came out just a few weeks after I had to stop going to school.

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Everyone regrets to some extent the things we feel we missed out on - and the older you get the deeper and more long-ranging this feeling can become. But it is not something anyone can afford to dwell upon.

Just remember, jaydee - regretting what you missed in the past is a waste of your time right NOW. And now is the only time we have. By spending a single moment living in regret you are doing a similar thing as you did in the past (whatever made you miss things) - now you are missing the things you could be doing now by thinking about the things you missed doing in the past.

Worry is the other waste - not directed at the past, but at the future. Worry and regret = two entire wastes of NOW going in opposite directions, both can become vicious cycles if they aren't reigned in & they can keep you from experiencing the only time you can actually spend. Spending time now regretting the past will only lead to regretting in the future about what you could have been doing right now.

This is why the simple words of Carpe Diem serve as a very deep guideline on how to live an entire life.

SC, is that you?

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

Heart breaker

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

HIM?!? He ruins everything!

thank you! that's very sweet and very true. i felt like it was something i needed to do, so that i could confirm what i've always suspected about him. now i have, and it's whatever.

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letterboxd

After i lost my husband i took time out from everything, i stopped my training and studies, my family were fantastic, my twin brother moved in with me, i remember the day i lost my husband but i can't remember the following days, it took about a month to get my head together and decide what to do next. It's been as tough as hell but i'm a positive woman. I've not really spoken much about it til now.

You know, I used to feel this way too, but life is different for everyone. In the end you cannot judge your life by what the movies say it should be like, or what TV says it should be like, or even what your friends lives are like. I was a late bloomer, I guess is the right term. I found actual happiness and a new life at age 41. I wouldn't trade any of the **** I've been through for the world because it all lead me to right now. Don't regret anything. Go out and do something you've never done before, or do everything you've ever wanted to right now. You're not dead, and you're never too old.

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"You, me, everyone...we are all made of star stuff." - Neil Degrasse Tyson

https://shawnsmovienight.blogspot.com/

Lovely post, monkeypunch. Same as you - I wouldn't trade any of the downsides for life right now.

Tell us all about it. How did it happen? What did you go through?

My husband was killed in a road accident. I was at work when the call came through asking us to be on stand by. Then my boss took another call and looked straight at me so i knew something was wrong.

So sorry to hear that

Thank you

After it happened i was in shock. I thought the police had made a mistake and that my husband would ring me. And i remember thinking i'm too young to be a widow.

@Dannii

So sorry to hear that happened. That's a nightmare you're never gonna forget, nor should you. I hope you'll manage to pull through the tough times and grow stronger and eventually have a normal life again, if things haven't got better, yet.