Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

3 more disappointments

Vengeance is Mine



Started out with a bang and eventually became some half serious porno/snuff movie. Not a whole lot going on but sex and violence - a good one for all the serial rapists on the board.

I'll give it one popcorn for being shot so well.



Ikiru



A very small minded unchallenging film by Kurosawa , very similar to the recent Synecdoche New York - but nowhere near as big or well done.



Mad Max 2



I love the setting , but just like the first - I hated the movie.

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I have no idea what the first movie is, put titles with them dude.

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Suspect's Reviews

My bad , my resolution is set on 800 x 600.

Your one-sentece "reviews" fail to enlighten me at all. For example. how can you compare Ikiru to Synechdoche, New York? You don't say, but I'll give you an easy out... they're about loneliness. But what did you take away from Ikiru which is just about Ikiru? I seem to be having a flashback here; did we "discuss" this before?

As far as The Road Warrior goes, why do you love the setting and why do you hate the movie? You give it a 2/11. That seems incredibly drastic, but then all the ratings do. You have heard of a Bell Curve, yes?



I've mentioned before that most things (including films) fall into the middle area with very few on the two extremes. meaty, your ratings seem to invest in an inverse bell curve, which is certainly your right, but it basically violates subjectivity/objectivity and logic.

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My IMDb page

The premise is exactly the same , a man in his 40's , 50's learns he is dieing and decides to do one last great thing before he dies. Especially since both characters are abandoned by their families - I can't help but see tons of similarities.

I think the post-apocalypse setting is a very interesting one , and still haven't seen a good movie use it. The Road Warrior was hilariously over-acted and annoying.

I realize I haven't rated a lot of stuff in the , but that's because I try to steer clear of anything that looks or sounds average - then again I often risk watching movies that might be really terrible. I don't think it's unfair to give a very low rating , when I did in find it terrible.

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1 viewing)



There is a key element of what divides this film from Grand Illusion , I wasn't referring to the 20 years of film-making - I'm referring to the second World war.

Bridge on the River Kwai starts off in a Japanese POW camp , where we see a new group of British soldiers arrive , led by a resilient leader (Alec Guinness) - they are ordered to build a bridge over the nearby river. The poor treatment of the soldiers forces the British leader to stand up for his troops rights : which gives you a basic idea of the first half of the movie.

Although I did find the first half much more intriguing and entertaining , the second act made no waste of what was set up in the first. Alec Guinness who I've never seen aside from Obi-Wan , plays his character so strongly - it feels as if this giant three hour epic rests upon his shoulders. This movie is enormous in every way , each shot in the movie captures huge environments and massive amounts of actors with each a job to do. The action scenes benefit vastly from this style of camera work , not to mention the amazing scenes of the bridge being built.

It's also a film that knows when to reward your patience , nearing the end it started to drag on a little - my main complaint being the advancing soldiers felt out of place. The prisoner side of the story is filled with complex morality , nationality , and emotion , but the other side seems bent on their mission and doesn't feel anywhere near as realistic. Bridge does well combining these two unequal factions though and delivers a truly cinematic ending.

Okay, but for someone like me who has not seen either of them, how would I know how they are similar. Just saying, a bit more then one or two sentences is needed to review a film, otherwise, what is the point.

I know mine may be a tad too long, but my One A Days aren't. I at least put a bit more into writing it then one or two sentences and I hope people see the difference. I'm not the best at reviewing films, but when I do write them I try to reflect my feelings and inform others about it.

I always read your reviews, no matter how much I may disagree, and I do a lot. But the one sentence ones really do turn me off.

Good review and nice appreciation of a classic there, meaty. My fave scene is actually that unbelievably quiet scene on the bridge where Guinness's (my second fave actor af all time) Colonel Nicholson shares his insecure thoughts with Colonel Saito about whether he's a failure or a success. Very few actors could pull off that scene.

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(From 5:37 to 8:37 in this clip)

That was probably my favorite part too , it's such a complete twist - but it's still very believable (and then you really want the bridge to stay up).

I'm sorry if you wanted a more full review , but I usually do some short ones if I've been falling behind - watching way more movies than reviewing them.

Almost Famous (1 viewing)



This movie is busting at the seams with information , characters , emotions , music , and images. You are forced into it's train of thought and your opinions of the characters will change consistently : Almost Famous is a very well done film.

Frances McDormand , Phillip Seymour Hoffman , Kate Hudson , Jason Lee , and Billy Crudup's (who will play Dr. Manhattan soon) breakout performance - there are a lot of big name actors in here. It knows how to pull you in and it's a bunch of fun. William (Patrick Fugit) is raised by a very up-tight mother (McDormand) with strict principles , but his dream is to be a rock and roll writer - when he gets a chance to write an article on Stillwater for Rolling Stone magazine , William follows them on their tour and meets a bunch of people along the way.

It is a wild ride and there is so much great dialogue throughout , it never lets it's story just sit - the movie is always on the move. Bright lights , loud music , drugs , parties are abundant - but it's main character who's been raised on straight forward morals : keeps things at a balance where you can see the cultural differences between these lifestyles. There is a ton of detail put into these scenes as well , all the different locations have distinct features and everything is shot with a lot of care.

I was surprised by this one , check it out.

Thanks meatface

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I love this movie

Great scene....and I'm glad you enjoyed it, meatwad.

The Bourne Ultimatum (1 view)



If poorly shot , run of the mill action movies are your thing - Bourne Ultimatum is the one for you.

Normally I would describe the story a little to you , but I actually could not possibly give you the slightest idea of what it's really about. It's story is incredibly bare bones minimal. I guess it's about keeping this constant intensity going for the whole movie - which might have been a good idea (The Dark Knight) , had the movie actually featured an interesting story , characters , visuals , anything.

Matt Damon plays an emotionless and super dangerous assassin (I think) - who wants revenge on people who did some ludicrous experiment on him. I couldn't actually care less what happened to anyone in the whole movie , apart from their appearances it's hard to tell them apart. Ultimatum has received large acclaim for it's action scenes , which are just complete travesties. Camera movement in this movie is more irritating than anything and it's always way too close to what it's trying to show. If you couldn't care less about actual camera work , you might find these action scenes mildly fun (unless you've seen any other generic action movies).

Most people enjoyed this , but if you will take my warning - do not watch this.

You gotta hand it to the Meat. If he doesn't like something he doesn't beat around the bush about it.

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More stuff

Blast of Silence (1 view)



It's very well shot , but downright simple. It's also the only movie I've seen which is completely narrated from a third party view. The movie is also really short - I wouldn't call it a classic , but it's better than Hitman to say the least.



High Fidelity (1 view)



None of the characters were likable to me (excluding Jack Black) , especially the main character. Oh yeah , I didn't like anything else either.



Jerry McGuire (1 view)



I wanted to see something else from the director of Almost Famous , this one tries to capture the chaos of the sport's agent career : while being a romance/comedy. It's definitely not on par with Famous , but it was somewhat enjoyable. Started out with a lot of power and started to fade and fade.



The Third Man (1 view)



The obvious best of the bunch I've seen , although I didn't love it. It's interesting how the writer's stance on his friend changes through all the things he learns - but it doesn't try to keep you thinking about everyone. Instead it uses some characters as tools to make you think about Lime. I was very surprised by the special cameo though , even though I only ever seen him in one movie - he has such a distinct face.

Thats all you give it

Gomorra (1 view) 2009 Reviews



The crime genre is arguably the hardest to become great in , with so many amazing films having already explored all it's boundaries of story telling. When you want to join the ranks of Goodfellas , The Godfather , Sonatine , Miller's Crossing , Fireworks , etc ... you need to be better than great.

Gomorra strips the romance from such American classics and goes for a much more brutal approach. No one person looks invincible , even the high ups have to watch their own backs. It also shows multiple levels of the crime organization and their freedoms/responsibilities. My big problem with this movie is the varying level of character usage , some are very well developed and others are introduced too quickly.

Like almost every crime movie , you have those intense moments of looming death - you see hints and your convinced in your mind someone is about to die. Sometimes this movie challenges you on those moments , other times it puts a unique subtle twist. One of the major things Gomorra has going for it - is the beautiful cinematography. There's so much I enjoy about just how it looks , an abundance of huge landscape scenes and vigorous action that breaks the pace every once in awhile. If you can't enjoy the bleak story , you can still get a kick out of the visual quality.

A great way to start off your 2009 film year (although it was released last year in some countries) , it might not be as fine tuned as the crime masterpieces - but it has a lot to offer.

High Fidelity deserves more then that.