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Slash Vault, Bloody Adventures with MoFo Nostromo

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And while I'm drinking and thinking, I was actually thinking about so many conversations with so many fans of the unholy trinity, and one of the tings I noticed is how the fans divide. All 3 have the fans, but when it comes to the taking of sides, it's the wildly passionate that adopt Jason, the wildly creative that pick Freddy, and Michael, being an equal opportunity killer with no revenge in his makeup, almost like an Allfather. He's the most detached of the trio.
The way I see it, so you had the first wave of horror film icons with the Universal Monsters Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Wolf Man. There were several others too yet I feel those were the original Big Three.

Michael, Jason, & Freddy fit right in there with them. Like a 70s and 80s horror icon revival to echo those of the 30s and 40s. Michael & Jason have an almost nobility aura to them with, as you mentioned, they don't even talk. They just go about their business. And both also have that surface-level cinematic badassery as far as imposing stature and ruthless motion. Freddy, comparitively, is an entirely different beast. His threat rests in his inter-dimensional facility, to roam without restriction between imagination, dreams, and reality... Empowered by, as Elvira says, "Freddy Krueger... gives good glove." They're just awesome creations who fit into not just the terrific horror pantheon, but at the highest level of the wider cinematic and entertainment world.




The way I see it, so you had the first wave of horror film icons with the Universal Monsters Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Wolf Man. There were several others too yet I feel those were the original Big Three.

Michael, Jason, & Freddy fit right in there with them. Like a 70s and 80s horror icon revival to echo those of the 30s and 40s. Michael & Jason have an almost nobility aura to them with, as you mentioned, they don't even talk. They just go about their business. And both also have that surface-level cinematic badassery as far as imposing stature and ruthless motion. Freddy, comparitively, is an entirely different beast. His threat rests in his inter-dimensional facility, to roam without restriction between imagination, dreams, and reality... Empowered by, as Elvira says, "Freddy Krueger... gives good glove." They're just awesome creations who fit into not just the terrific horror pantheon, but at the highest level of the wider cinematic and entertainment world.

The tough thing with Freddy is...he's actually the worst of them. Before he died, he went after children. His revenge is actually bull****. You can get behind Jason, that's why I think he gets the passionate over everything else, and Freddy gets the creative over everything else. Freddy, ultimately, is quite pretentious. Jason is raw. Fans don't even get insulted when it's stated he has a tiny brain. We're actually not after his thoughts. Michael gets our attention a lot because of efficiency. Freddy does just...talk too much, but...he DOES deliver imagination, so he's actually loved by all. Just not in a fight between the two.


See, Freddy never got that.



If I had the power to recast Jason today...and they told me "you can't go for any previous Jasons", I'd pick Rory McCann. He did a great job with the Hound, he has the right build, and I don't think he'd have any problem going completely silent yet emoting through a mask, since he did it through a steel helm.





Jason X
James Isaac
2001

2001 - A Jason Odyssey




Yeah I know I just started that review with a heart symbol. But SERIOUSLY, they referred to Jason in the previous movie as having had an unusually large heart. In this, an unusually small brain. GUYS, HE'S ALL HEART, NO BRAIN. What's not to throw heart symbols at? I mean, apart from the "get out of the way once you resurrect him" kind of thing. Also, sad this is Kane Hodder's exit as Jason. Not even he knew it would be. But that's another rant for another time.

Soooo, Jason in space. Yeah, well why not punt him into the sun, or whatever it is studio execs do to Jason without regard for Jason fans yet keep us happy while we're all waiting for Freddy vs Jason to be a viable thing. Hey, I'm on board this Nostromo. The premise of this one is that it's 2010 and the US government (which has a research facility in Camp Crystal Lake..why????) has iced Jason for research purposes, but some how he ends up catapulting him into space because of reasons, and 445 years later he's these these curious monkeys' problem. **** goes wrong and the body count goes sky high.



Things I liked AGAIN - IN ONE LONG UNCONSCIOUS RAMBLE: (not arsed to put this in spoiler tags. I won't mention names except Jason, so...if it's egregious, I'll wrap it. Like a fine, upstanding member of society. ) Things I liked?: The epic Jason side-eye. With his only eye. THE IMPRESSIVE BODY COUNT. Not only that, but a couple of imaginative kills, including one in my top 3 Jason kills, namely the cryogenic face smash. LORDT HELP ME but that was perfect, even if Mythbusters busted that as possible. The ****s. Never watching them again. THEY CAN NEVER TAKE MY SLEEPING BAG KILL. And this one features a
WARNING: spoilers below
double sleeping bag kill just for ****s and giggles.
Added to the "screwdriver" kill, it's like someone woke up and remembered we love fun Jason kills with the damn hockey mask. Ugh. I adore this Jason. I just...adore this Jason and I'm not ready to say goodbye to him as Jason. Thank god for conventions. At least you can get your throat grabbed by the real deal if he happens to blow into town every decade or so. I missed him the last time. I'm obviously still not over it. I 'm actually so happy they gave his last as Jason the highest body count. **** it, give it to Kane. He's the soul of Jason, oxymoron that that is. He's just...I don't know. Maybe you just have to be my kind of crazy to get it.

I could list kills, but really, this is a feast in the off(er)ing. Just lay back, relax, DON'T WORRY ABOUT PLOT, he's in space, he's super-charged, and the governement can't help you. But there IS a hot fembot that appears to get off on getting rid of Jason...temporarily.

OK BACK TO RANDOM LIKES: The David Cronenberg cameo. He's a terrible actor, and I love it. The fact that Jason basically thrusted the Lexa Doig character into cryogenic breach...I can't even. *fans self* Did I mention the abundance of good kills? Yeah, there's that. The fashion - guys. open midriffs in space is AMAZEBALLS, just sayin'. "Bring on the ants."



Things I didn't like: The whisps of stringy hair. GTFO with that. Über-Jason's red eyes. Why - he's jacked enough. The cute shuttlecock-styled space pods. Just...what. The cheese factor was a touch overdone, but just a touch for this kind of film.

Yeeaaah nooo, kinda dug this. It was silly, but it paid me service. Can't really knock that. Overall, this is actually a fun movie, once you just go with it. Overall it was fun, and if you're a Jason Voorhees fan, you'll get some pay-off. If you're not in this for that, then this isn't really for you, it'll just be background noise. But for me, it was enough for a

- Just... don't wreck my pants.




The tough thing with Freddy is...he's actually the worst of them. Before he died, he went after children. His revenge is actually bull****. You can get behind Jason, that's why I think he gets the passionate over everything else, and Freddy gets the creative over everything else. Freddy, ultimately, is quite pretentious. Jason is raw. Fans don't even get insulted when it's stated he has a tiny brain. We're actually not after his thoughts. Michael gets our attention a lot because of efficiency. Freddy does just...talk too much, but...he DOES deliver imagination, so he's actually loved by all. Just not in a fight between the two.
I can agree with you on the first part. Because of Jason's childhoood neglect and Fred's horrific pre-burnt-to-a-crisp atrocities on Elm Street, going full-Jason is easier than going full-Freddy Krueger. I think it was Swan who once said, Freddy, especially in the sequels, is a big douche bag. I actually agree with that. Freddy Krueger is a movie douchebag. At the same time, I think it had to be an absolute BALL of a good time for Robert Englund to play him, putting on that hat, striped sweater, and fingerknives glove fooling and pranking around with the other cast members. I'm saying all this in a year where, really, my affinity for Friday the 13th and Jason Voorhees has grown quite a lot. But you better believe...



I'll still have that bastard burnt-douchebag's back who won't shut his damn mouth Mr. Freddy. That whole act, I'm not changing him.




I can agree with you on the first part. Because of Jason's childhoood neglect and Fred's horrific pre-burnt-to-a-crisp atrocities on Elm Street, going full-Jason is easier than going full-Freddy Krueger. I think it was Swan who once said, Freddy, especially in the sequels, is a big douche bag. I actually agree with that. Freddy Krueger is a movie douchebag. At the same time, I think it had to be an absolute BALL of a good time for Robert Englund to play him, putting on that hat, striped sweater, and fingerknives glove fooling and pranking around with the other cast members. I'm saying all this in a year where, really, my affininity for Friday the 13th and Jason Voorhees has grown quite a lot. But you better believe...



I'll still have that bastard burnt-douchebag's back who won't shut his damn mouth Mr. Freddy. That whole act, I'm not changing him.

Oh absolutely. I agree. Freddy is a LOT of fun. that hoodie you know I like? It's almost Freddy colours. The thing about Freddy's colours is that those are the two shades the human eye have most trouble seeing, so it's disturbing to see them together in a sweater. So much thought put into Freddy and the subliminal. I'm a big fan. But somehow when it's a fight between the two, I tend to go Jason. There's something about Jason that almost signals a bullied kid's revenge, although that's not in the mythos. That's just a vibe I get. I repeat, it's not in there, it's something I just get from it, wildly.

I now feel a bit stupid saying it. But I've kind of always felt that way.



I actually wonder if Freddy's popularity was an unexpected thing. He went out of his way to make Freddy absolutely repulsive, and yet...here we are.

Aren't we grand



I actually wonder if Freddy's popularity was an unexpected thing. He went out of his way to make Freddy absolutely repulsive, and yet...here we are.

Aren't we grand
Takes WAY too much mental-motor-work to try and pull some kind of redemptive hocus-pocus out of a hat for these kind of films. Ha!



I've been fortunate to have you around @cat_sidhe to make this a fun time Sit back, hang-out, grab a refreshment, & enjoy some fun movies!

Welcome To The Vault!



Takes WAY too much mental-motor-work to try and pull some kind of redemptive hocus-pocus out of a hat for these kind of films. Ha!



I've been fortunate to have you around @cat_sidhe to make this a fun time Sit back, hang-out, grab a refreshment, & enjoy some fun movies!

Welcome To The Vault!
OMG you used one of my fav gifs. I love Jason kicking ****.



I actually wonder if Freddy's popularity was an unexpected thing. He went out of his way to make Freddy absolutely repulsive, and yet...here we are.
TMK Freddy's popularity was completely unexpected. I remember seeing an interview with Robert Englund saying that they had no money for advertising and that it was word of mouth which made Nightmare the hit it was. And a big part of that was the 'new wave' kids and punks of the time cheering Freddy on while tearing through and trashing suburban, bourgeois America.
__________________
5-time MoFo Award winner.



TMK Freddy's popularity was completely unexpected. I remember seeing an interview with Robert Englund saying that they had no money for advertising and that it was word of mouth which made Nightmare the hit it was. And a big part of that was the 'new wave' kids and punks of the time cheering Freddy on while tearing through and trashing suburban, bourgeois America.
That's awesome. Reminds me of how death metal and grindcore got spread through underground tape exchange. Explains why there's such a hardcore following, too. Bless those who fight for the monsters.




Freddy vs. Jason
Ronnie Yu
2003


Where the **** is my Jason?

Finally, we get what we've been teased with for many years, but it's a bittersweet feeling as a dirty was done to the only regular Jason we've ever had, the one we love the most, the one we pretty much identify as Jason Voorhees. Kane Hodder was given the script, in other words, business as usual, only to find out later that he'd been replaced. He was never given a reason why. They told him something lame eventually, about wanting someone with "more expressive eyes". I know. My ass. I suppose in a way it's ironic that Hodder gets to be haunted by Jason a bit. In any event, they at least chose a decent replacement in Ken Kirzinger (aka the huge chef Jason casually threw into the diner mirror in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan).

This movie picks up where Jason Goes To Hell left off and it is in hell that Freddy, forgotten and therefore powerless, gets the brilliant idea to mentally manipulate Jason into killing for him. When the teenagers are afraid, they'll remember him and thus give him power. Great plan, and for the most part, it works. Except for the fact that Jason's too efficient and starts doing ALL the kills, putting Freddy right out. Territorial pissing bloodletting ensues, culminating in an epic, brutal face-off.

Well! This is quite satisfying. Lashings of blood, some great kills, and quite a few genuinely funny moments from Freddy. He's great, ever the consummate entertainer. The showdown is kind of amazing, and weirdly hot.


Get a room, you two.


This Jason definitely gets a nod from me, but then again, I don't dislike any of the Jasons. I feel a bit bad for the ones who prefer Freddy over Jason, as although he gets plenty screen time, he doesn't get all that much scream time. I actually wonder if Jason getting all the gory glory wasn't partly to appease the disgruntled fandom over replacing Hodder. And maybe partly to have a bit of fun with Freddy for his arrogance as he clearly underestimated Jason, and overestimated his own power of control. Huge heart, small brain, remember? Frustrated Freddy throwing petulant fannywobbles over Jason stealing his toys? Thumbs up.


Freddy breaks out his Karate Kid moves after he loses control of his puppy.


I forgive it things that make you go "huh?", like having Jason be afraid of water (yet he swam to Manhattan like, 3 movies ago - but I believe the franchise has been back and forth on this one. He is and he isn't, ok? ), but I quite like the elemental symbolism evident with both Jason and Freddy. Water and fire.

Also, Jason's mysteriously reappearing second eye deserves a mention. Expressive, isn't it?



Definitely had fun with this.

+ Dude, that goalie was pissed about something!





Ronnie Yu
2003


+ Dude, that goalie was pissed about something!
Quality write-up Cat I agree with your rating. While I also get a fun time out of the Slash of the Titans, would have loved to see the 1980s version of the brawl. Just think the aesthetics from then and the natural enthusiasm when both series were in their prime's would've been amazing to see. Regardless, at least we get this one.

If you haven't left, I energetically await your Nightmare 1-4 thoughts you said you were watching in the "Movie You're Watching Tonight" thread!




@nostromo87 Not really sure why they "couldn't make it happen" when they initially wanted to. But I'm glad that when we got it, it wasn't a complete mess. I kind of love Freddy lost a kill because he talked too much, but he gets mad at Jason.

And thank you, I'll try.





A list of unreviewed or unwatched slashers I didn't get to in the push to 50, some bc they were more comparatively impractical to get my hands on and some simply by preference. Perhaps soon.

Girl House (2014)
All Hallow's Eve (2013)
Inside (2007)
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
Haute Tension (2003)
Bride of Chucky (1998)
The Stepfather (1987)
April Fool's Day (1986)
The Hitcher (1986)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
Pieces (1982)
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982)
Just Before Dawn (1981)
Madman (1981)
Silent Scream (1980)
When a Stranger Calls (1979)
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
The Last House on the Left (1972)




I only found out about Just Before Dawn a year or two ago. I really liked it. A proper early American slasher.

I've still not watched Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker, but I have a copy. While The Hitcher is on my top 100 of all time.



Can't believe, out of all these slasher reviews, I only reviewed two Freddy movies.

Some definitive discipline, people!