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Michael McIntyre's Big Show - Episode Five

It was slightly annoying at first last night when I saw Michael McIntyre's Big Show had been reduced to 45 minutes because of the football. It seemed like something that could have ruined the format - after all, the show has always so far been 55 minutes long. Why couldn't they have kept it the same length? It seemed like a silly move by the BBC.

Except it surprisingly wasn't. Somehow Michael McIntyre's Big Show works better as a 45 minute show. It feels more like Michael McIntyre's show and not a variety act with Michael McIntyre present; he was onstage for pretty much majority of the show and it was nice to see so much more of somebody who is a great comedian and doesn't deserve to be relegated to 'happens to be presenting' status. Those who watch the show for the variety will no doubt have been disappointed but this was far more pleasing for fans of Michael McIntyre like myself.

His jokes about bad eyesight were among his best material too. I couldn't stop laughing about his jokes about Opticians, for example, where he points out that instead of admitting you can't read the letters you squint and guess instead. Michael was totally right about how pointless the circle thing is; I never know what to say when they ask me if it's 'better or worse' because more often than not it looks pretty much the same. There was even a brilliant joke about when you sometimes fail to recognise people because of your eyesight. That's something I get a lot with my short-sighted eyesight and sometimes it results in me embarrassingly calling people by the wrong names.

This was quickly overshadowed, however, by this week's game of Send To All. Michael McIntyre sent a text to everyone on Robbie Savage's phone making out he had dreamt of his contacts presenting Match of the Day with him naked and it featured a variety of hilarious responses. Freddie Flintoff brilliantly said presenting Match of the Day was a weirder proposition than Robbie naked and there was a great response from a best friend of Robbie's who Googled up the meaning behind Robbie's dream and texted back that being naked could hint at insecurity but the best response was by far from former BBC1 control Danny Cohen, who even threatened to call the police. Whether he was playing along or not (Michael McIntyre said he already knows about the Send To All game) is anybody's guess but it was funny nonetheless.

This week's Unexpected Star florist Laura Thornton was yet again another member of the public who turned out to be good at singing. I still have to question whether it is fair to just shove someone onstage alone in front of that many people when other Unexpected Stars (bar the previous episode) have had someone to perform with though. It's a little daft - surely Michael McIntyre has star power to attract someone to do it? Somebody like Fleur East would have been great to see perform alongside the Unexpected Star.

Unfortunately, Laura was on the same episode as Katherine Jenkins so was pretty much overshadowed by the latter's performance. Katherine Jenkins is a brilliant singer; she definitely has one of the best voices currently and I liked how she joined in with Michael McIntyre joking about what she does when the doctor tells her to say 'ah'. Mind magician Colin Cloud was incredible too; somehow he managed to find out a member of the audience had their first kiss with someone called Basil despite never meeting her before. I don't know how they do things like that but it's certainly hugely talented.

Overall, last night's Big Show worked better in a 45 minute slot, resulting in more screentime for Michael McIntyre and one of the best Send To All games so far. Also: you can't go wrong with Katherine Jenkins and a mind magician like Colin Cloud. It's just a shame the Unexpected Star yet again didn't have someone to perform with.

Britain's Got Talent - Semi Final 1

Last night was the start of the semi finals and at first it looked as though it was a promising lineup. Eight out of nine of the acts had strong auditions, Richard Bayton being the only one who looked as though he'd be rubbish. Unfortunately, however, the whole semi final turned out to be a damp squib with none of the acts improving on their auditions.

It didn't help that it started with the joke act. Richard Bayton performed an awful melody of songs featuring One Day More before bursting into a rendition of the Jackson's ABC. Yep, it really was as bad as it sounds. The following act Spartan Ressurection were a little better but their act fell a little flat when the story they tried to tell through gymnastics really wasn't very clear. It's a shame because their audition was brilliant but ultimately they failed to deliver.

The next act, Kathleen Jenkins, was good but even she suffered a bit. Her song choice was 'One Day I'll Fly Away' and it was nowhere near as strong as her audition. The song choice was a little old hat and didn't totally suit her. Still, she was better than a later singing act mother and son duo Mel & Jamie. I don't know why it was but Mel sounded nowhere near as good as in the audition on Sunday night and completely overshadowed her son even though it was supposed to be his act and her presence was meant to be only for support. Her overpowering of her son made for a very uncomfortable watch and it was a surprise the judges didn't pick up on it.

Every series of BGT has to have a street dance troupe and this year it was Total TXS. Whilst they were a very good dance act and the theming of a Britain's Got Talent Museum was clever, the problem with these street dance troupes is that they will always be compared to Diversity and Total TXS are nowhere near on the same level. As Simon Cowell said, if their performance had been to the more unique angle shown in the comedic Spice Girls section of the routine it would have felt much more original. It's a shame they didn't get through though as at least they had potential over the mother and son act (who came 2nd).

The other dancers on tonight - the Ystrad Fawr dancers, a ballroom dancing troupe - were ultimately a waste of a space in the semi finals. Their routine of ballroom dancing to old music is way too oldfashioned to be anything but boring and unimaginative; they just don't have a unique edge to them to justify a place in the finals and the audience aren't really given a reason to vote for their act. They were never going to come 3rd, never mind 2nd - indeed, they placed lower. It's just a dull act and one that shouldn't have made it this far.

Then there's Ben Blaque. His dangerous bow and arrow act was turned into a game of Russian Roulette with arrows, with Ben stood at the other end of the studio and the arrows all aimed at him. The only good thing about this act is that it went wrong - one of the levers shot two arrows out towards him rather than one. Ben Blaque basically sabotaged his own act by not revealing if the rest of the arrows would have hit him if pulled, therefore there was no proof as to whether he really was in any danger or if the entire thing was fixed to ensure his safety.

It was nowhere near as bad as the next act though. Impressionist Darren Altman can hardly be called that as his impressions were poor. Gordon Ramsey sounded nothing like Gordon Ramsey and Bear Grylls was only identifiable because his material referenced drinking wee. The only decent impressions were of Ant, Dec and Marco Pierre White. The rest of it was like watching a primary school child playing one of those awful playground games you used to do when you were little. How he got through over the fantastic Mimic Men beats me and makes a mockery of the entire show - especially when his audition was a bit 'meh' with the impressions to start with.

Thank God then for Alesha Dixon's Golden Buzzer 100 Voices of Gospel. If it wasn't for them, last night would have rated a 0.5 from me. They were magnificent; unlike their audition, they weren't just another boring standard choir act but offered something new by taking a pop song and turning it into a choir piece. Of course, they won the night and quite rightly too. Alesha Dixon clearly has good taste in Golden Buzzers.

Overall, last night's Britain's Got Talent was a shambles and the worst semi final in years. Thankfully 100 Voices of Gospel saved the show from being a complete waste of viewing time and now seem like the ones to watch.

Britain's Got Talent - Semi Final 2

After a poor semi final on Sunday night, everybody wondered whether the quality would be as poor for the other semi finals. The line-up for Monday looked promising but then again, so did Monday nights. Thankfully last night's was much stronger (even if it did get off to a weak start).

First up were David Walliam's Golden Buzzer Ian & Anne, who sang a terrible performance of Bad Romance. The worst thing was that they clearly thought they were good singers even though we all knew they weren't. Their act would have worked better as a comedy performance as it may have had some mileage if there was some slapstick and running around added in and a point was made of them singing badly.

Wayne Woodward was next; he performed That's Life and came across like a clone of Michael Buble. Whilst he is a brilliant singer and better than most of the acts on the previous semi final, he wasn't anything special and I'm clueless as to how he won his semi final. There were far better acts on last night; I guess all the women were voting based on his looks rather than his actual performance.

Next up: Mythical PSM, a streetdance trio who like pulling a lot of strange facial expressions for some reason. They suffered from the same problem of Total TXS that you inevitably end up comparing them to Diversity and they're not as good but it was still a hugely entertaining performance and one more memorable than Wayne's ever will be. They helped to liven up the semi final, offering a welcome break from two singers following one after another.

The Garnett Family followed, a singing family of four who sang a great rendition of Aretha Franklin's Natural Woman. They were far stronger than in their audition; before I didn't really care about them but now if they were to release a CD I'd buy it in a heartbeat. It's a shame they were on such a strong night because if they had performed on semi final 1 they would have definitely got through. I wouldn't be surprised if they get a record contract.

And then there was the worst act of the night: singing accordion player Vitaly Voronko, who for some reason dresses up as a superhero whilst performing his act. He sung Hakuna Matata from The Lion King and completely massacred one of the best Disney songs of all time whilst Planet of the Apes rejects got lost on the way to a children's party. It was so awful that he nearly got buzzed off halfway through his performance, if only David Walliams had pressed his buzzer too. I thought I'd accidentally switched over to Cbeebies.

Now Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the fandango? Unfortunately Rachel Wooding (who played Scaramouche in We Will Rock You) didn't do that but instead offered a rousing version of Gravity. It's absolutely crazy that she didn't get through as she was far more deserving than Wayne Woodward. Rachel Wooding had one of the best voices in the competition and I would much rather have seen her again. I mean, she's Scaramouche and we haven't seen her do the fandango yet!

Quickly following after Rachel were my favourite act of the evening Another Kind of Blue. They offered a beautiful and very clever projection dance performance of two kids playing with the dancers in a box, made to look as though they were interacting with the virtual environment. They were like Attraction; a unique act that the Royal Family would absolutely love. They should have got through; unfortunately they didn't because for some reason most people prefer a not-as-good-as-Michael-Buble Buble clone and a sword swallower.

Yep, that's right: the next act, sword swallower Alex Magala, got through to the final. Despite the fact that his performance had to be pre-recorded. I mean, it's clever how he manages to do it without killing himself but what's he going to do if he wins Britain's Got Talent? He can't do his performance pre-recorded then. It's a pointless inclusion for the finale and I don't know how anyone can prefer it over talent that could easily be performed at the Royal Variety. Is the Queen really going to want to watch this act?

The next act, ballet dancers Shannon and Peter, were in the top three with Alex Magala and would have ultimately been a better choice than him for the finals. I'm not into ballet but they did give a hugely talented and beautiful performance and ultimately deserved to go through over Alex Magala. Simon Cowell and co should have stopped listening to the crowd chanting Alex's name and sent through them instead when it went down to 2nd and 3rd place. Their act could obviously actually work at the Royal Variety.

Overall, semi final 2 was much stronger than the first one. However it was spoilt by two bad joke acts and the stupidity of putting through someone who has to prerecord their act and therefore wouldn't realistically be able to do it at the Royal Variety Performance.

Time Reaver

Jenny Colgan is well known among Whovians for writing many Who-related forms of media. She has quickly established a name for herself writing numerous books and Big Finish audios that tie into the TV series, so you can see why Big Finish chose her to write a story in one of the audio company's most high profile releases to date.

She's the perfect choice too, as she gets the 10th Doctor and Donna's relationship absolutely spot-on. In fact, somehow it's even an improvement over Matt Fitton's take on the pair. Catherine Tate seems much more comfortable by this point too; in Technophobia whilst she was fantastic occasionally she seemed a bit unsure in the way she delivered her lines, however here she is textbook Donna Noble. David Tennant, of course, is superb as always - when is he not when playing the Doctor? Jenny Colgan just seems to understand how to write the dialogue to their advantage.

Jenny Colgan also demonstrates a knack here for writing TARDIS scenes too. They are nothing short of engaging and feel as though they were taken right out of a Russell T Davies story, especially the end TARDIS scene where Donna discusses the events of the audio with the Doctor. That was something the RTD era did in many stories and it always allowed for a nice recap of events. She consistently maintains the series four vibe throughout too, with hints at the series four arc with lines like 'There's something on your back'. Compared to Technophobia, this feels even more like an authentic story from the Russell T Davies era.

The Vacintians feel like something the Russell T Davies era would do. Basically the Vacintians are space police like Judoon, but the difference is that instead of arresting for crimes they are the ones who deal with the paperwork and check whether or not you have a license for activities that require one. The RTD era was one that would often take the boring and mundane and turn it into something exciting; as usual, however, there is something else at play. In this case, a dangerous time weapon called the Time Reaver invented by the Vacintians to prolong the experience of being together as their planet is dying. I always like it when they introduce a tragic back story as it really makes you care for the events taking place. Also: there is a moving sacrifice by one of the characters (won't spoil it for those who haven't listened to the audio) that really sells the story and shows how much you care for the supporting characters.

The Vacintians are nothing, however, compared to this story's villain Gully. Gully is an alien octopus gangster and yes, it really is as mad a concept as it sounds. Gully's like something out of a Douglas Adams Doctor Who story and it's great fun listening to him trying to get hold of all the Time Reavers for obviously evil purposes. The Time Reavers are weapons that make a moment in time last longer, so in the hands of an octo-gangster you can see where things might start to go wrong. Big Finish really do write the best original Doctor Who monsters and I wouldn't mind hearing Gully return again. In fact, maybe he could make the transition to TV in a Jenny Colgan Doctor Who episode?

Overall, Time Reaver is the quintessential series 4 Doctor Who story beautifully written by Jenny Colgan. It has possibly the best combination of Russell T Davies and Douglas Adams-esque ideas, making it a Big Finish audio drama you really shouldn't miss.

Britain's Got Talent - Semi Final 3

It's annoying when you see so much great talent slammed into one semi final. Tonight was full of acts who deserved to get through, yet you have to wonder why some of them couldn't have been on the previous two semi final. The judges put it perfectly when they said it was like a final. This semi final really let the other two down.

First up: Khronos Agoria, another one of those dance troupes that will unfortunately find themselves compared to Diversity. They were very lively and if they had been on the previous night's semi final they would definitely have got through. I couldn't quite tell what the story was meant to be though and it could really have done with better execution.

Girl group Zyrah Rose were next, singing 'Set Fire To The Rain'. With actual fire. Again, they were hugely talented but on another semi final night they would have got through. I'm not sure if their voices were as good as in their audition. Their performance was better but their voices sounded weaker somehow. Maybe they were just nervous but I don't think any record companies will be offering them a record deal after last night's performance.

Josh Curnow followed; he was one of those typical acts you get where the singer plays the piano and sings a song. His song 'Runnin'' wasn't a very good prediction that he'd run through the competition. Josh had a brilliant singing voice that would perhaps have been more suited to X Factor.

It's just a shame he was immediately followed by dancing polar bears. Vadik and the Bear featured six people in Polar Bear costumes dancing alongside Vadik; it was an act that was never going to win but there was something weirdly mesmerising about it. Even Simon Cowell liked it; in fact, the only judge to buzz was Alesha Dixon who claimed her and Simon had swapped bodies. Simon Cowell weirdly seemed like he was on drugs all night, making some very odd comments...

...including his comment to dancing with drones act Flying Bebop, who he told to add mice into the drones if he made it to the finals. Thankfully Flying Bebop didn't get through as that would have seemed more than a little cruel. It was very clever the way the drones and dancing mixed with each other, although I'm not quite sure what he'd have done if he had won seeing as his act bizarrely needed to be prerecorded. Would the Queen have had to watch a screen at the Royal Variety? I'm sure one would not be amused.

Morgan Connie Smith immediately got my disapproval by singing a 1Direction song. History, like all 1Direction songs, is an abomination and I wish it could be erased from music history. She did a better job of it than 1Direction themselves though, especially for someone who had to do their exams as well as perform on Britain's Got Talent.

Next: Simon Cowell's Golden Buzzer act Boogie Storm, a dance troupe made of Storm Troopers. Whilst this act probably isn't going to win Britain's Got Talent, it's a very unique and fun dance act which definitely deserved to come 2nd place. There's a nice hint of comedy with the costumes that provide its uniqueness and I think the Queen would love them if they were to win. You could imagine this act on the Royal Variety.

The best act of the night performed second to last: Richard Jones, a magician who used to work in the army. Somehow he managed to transport a page from Amanda Holden's autobiography whilst it was on the Judges' desk into a tube and create the money he paid for it with fire. I don't know how on Earth he did it and I'm so glad he won last night's semi final for he was by far the most deserving to win BGT as of current.

He had tough competition from the last act ballet dancer Jack Higgins though. His routine showed him as the little Billy Elliot we saw he was in the auditions and had he been on semi final 1, he would have won the night easily. Unfortunately, he was up against tough competition so the poor boy ended up coming 3rd and ultimately not making it to the final. Here's hoping he's one of the wildcards as he definitely deserves to be there.

Overall, Britain's Got Talent's semi final last night was the strongest so far with both of the most deserving acts going through. It was perhaps too strong though, meaning one act who deserved to be in the final - Jack Higgins - ultimately hasn't made it through. Fingers crossed he gets the wildcard.

Haven't heard it but what the hell, I'll comment.

Honestly I'd have just called them the Cognoscenti – we all know where he's got the name, just as we knew where Philip Hinchcliffe got the Vituperon. I'm not a fan of using recognisable words as character names, and Star Wars has some of the worst examples, probably the main one being General Grievous. It can come over as infantile.

The idea itself is more noteworthy and it reminds me of a similarly powerful moment in Blake's 7's Killer.

It is, except when it's by someone as low down the pecking order as Cassandra.

Again, haven't heard it but I'm up for reacting.

Obviously after my time.

A bit like a big slug gangster, in fact.

They're alright, aren't they? Kwundaar was my favourite and he's actually my all-time favourite Doctor Who villain.

I still find it really odd that Cassandra returned. I never really thought she had much mileage as a Doctor Who monster.

Honestly, they do a better job than some of the new series writers do with creating new monsters. The BBC really should get some of Big Finish's writers to write for the TV series.

Britain's Got Talent - Semi Final 4

Last night's semi final was probably one of the most controversial the show has ever seen. It was ridiculous that some of what happened actually took place on live primetime television, especially when some of the audience will be families with young kids.

The most startling of these was Alesha Dixon's racist comment during Vox Fortura's performance. Vox Fortura, a band made of four singers, were described by Alesha as 'four sexy chocolate men'. Somehow this is alright because Alesha is black too but in my view it really, really isn't. What happens if children watching Britain's Got Talent start repeating this in the school playground? How does it make it any less racist just because Alesha's of the same race? If Amanda had said it, it would have resulted in an apology from Ant & Dec. But because it was a person of colour, it's fine. Well, that's wrong.

The other offensive behaviour that took place again was exhibited by Alesha Dixon and directed towards one of the acts. Alesha had something against fire act Bespoke Candi and its dancing dinosaur for some reason, to the point where she deliberately tried to sabotage the act by pressing the other judges' buzzers (after pressing her own) to try to get it to stop. This was really cruel and unfair on the act, that clearly put a lot into their performance and have every right to be there as the acts Alesha Dixon likes. It was childish behaviour, made even worse when Alesha Dixon went on to ignorantly criticise the act for being childish as if it was a joke when they were dancing with fire. Thankfully Dec told her off as it was uncalled for.

As for the other acts, Bollywest Fusion (Bollywood dancing mixed with hip hop) were great and better than in their audition. The Collaborative Orchestra (band made of singers and lots of instruments) were brilliant and really deserved to go through. Unfortunately they didn't. Balance Unity (dance act) was monotonous and just the same as his audition - once you've seen it, you've seen it. Somehow he made it through. Danny Beard was disappointingly bad with his performance of I Need A Hero and stormed off when Simon quite rightly criticised him for it. Christian Lee (magician) was like a bad children's party entertainer and thankfully didn't get through. Tumar KR (contortionist act) was great if a bit uncomfortable to watch.

The highlight however was 12 year old Beau Dermott, who sang a stunning rendition of Someone Like You. She was extraordinary; how a voice like that can come from a 12 year old is anyone's guess. It sounds like a grown woman's voice; of course, she won the night and quite right too, even if I voted for the Collaborative Orchestra. Beau Dermott could easily win this competition; I just hope it's not Alesha Dixon's Golden Buzzer now as she doesn't deserve to be given the chance to be smug.

Alesha Dixon truly showed her true colours tonight. She is a racist, cruel woman who was possibly under the influence of alcohol as it is the only explanation for her behaviour. Even one of the judges - David Walliams - accused her of drinking. Whether he was joking or not is anyone's guess but if I was Simon Cowell I would fire her. He won't of course but he really should. Her behaviour was not acceptable on primetime television.

Overall, semi final four was strong but ultimately ruined by Alesha Dixon's terrible behaviour. There are no excuses for trying to sabotage an act and using racial slurs. Alesha Dixon should be ashamed of herself and be permanently removed from the panel.

Death and the Queen

Ever since her debut in 2006's The Runaway Bride, Donna has always been unlucky in love. First there was Lance, then Lee in Silence In The Library/Forest of the Dead. Now she has a new love to add to that list: Prince Rudolph. And no, it's not third time lucky (she does get fourth time lucky in The End of Time though).

Death and the Queen by James Goss is basically one of those fun RTD era romps you would get halfway through a series. It brings to mind series 4's The Unicorn and the Wasp, as a mad caper with plenty of banter from the Doctor and Donna Noble. There are some truly classic Doctor and Donna moments in this tale, such as Donna's moaning that she can never have a wedding that goes to plan with the Doctor around and her frustration at her servants as future Queen doing everything for her including helping her get dressed. My absolute favourite are the early scenes where the Doctor keeps interrupting Donna and Prince Rudolph when they're trying to have romantic moments together. So Donna has finally met her prince and she's about to get married; I bet you're wondering what goes wrong this time...

Well, you see, Death has an army coming for the fairytale kingdom as it is revealed a deal was made between the people of the fairytale land and Death. James Goss plays expertly with creating atmosphere here, with Death at first being obscured by cloud making for a very mysterious and unearthly appearance for the audio's antagonist. It allows for a very powerful performance from Catherine Tate too when she delivers the line 'Death is staring me in the face'. It's a very chilling line and one that works best on audio than it probably would on TV.

Now let's talk about Death: Death is...well, obviously the personification of death as a character and is a very creepy one, especially when his true motives are revealed. The reason behind Donna's marriage is truly shocking and like something from the Philip Hinchcliffe era of Doctor Who. As you can probably tell by what I have said in earlier 10th Doctor audio reviews there's a real 4th Doctor feel going on in these three stories which seem fitting for the best Doctor of the new series. This tale in particular whilst basically as said earlier an RTD-style romp has a very gothic feel to it with some of its ideas and themes. It sort of similar to if you combined a Tim Burton film with an Edgar Wright one.

One of my favourite things about this story is Alice Krige as the Queen Mum. She's wonderfully unlikeable, more determined to hold the wedding than to even batter an eyelid at all the people dying at the hands of Death's army. She even takes a dislike to Donna and that's just not on. The Queen Mum is a brilliant villianess for David Tennant's Doctor to argue with; he, of course, is just perfect as the 10th Doctor as usual and brilliantly portrays the Doctor's desperation at wanting Donna back as a companion. Of course, she rejoins him in the end because Donna's exit doesn't take place until Journey's End and these audios take place between series four but you really feel for the Doctor when he just wants his best friend back.

Overall, Death and the Queen is a fantastic conclusion to the first Tenth Doctor Adventures box set and represents the 10th Doctor and Donna Noble at their best. Here's hoping for a volume two with Bernard Cribbins returning as loveable granddad Wilfred Mott.

What, like Death's Deal ? Death's cropped up before in female form I understand – I think it's in Master as well. Plus other stories in other media. I remember reading years ago that they'd written the Time Lords as having three gods: Time, Death and Pain. Cheerful lot.

Britain's Got Talent: Semi Final 5

Last night was the last semi final for Britain's Got Talent and as U.S. President Barack Obama is allegedly preparing for the reveal of alien life in November, it was fun to see Davros return to the Britain's Got Talent stage and a potential return for him with a better act next year.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves though. First up was the Elite Squad Royals, a street dance troupe who perform as Queen and the Royals. I really like this act; it's a very fun mickey-take on the Royal Family, like a dance version of Channel 4's The Windsors and something I'm sure the Royal Family would have loved. I just wish they'd been on another night so they might have got through.

Ana and Fia followed, a singing duet who tonight sung Wind Beneath My Wings. They were a bit weak, especially compared to some of the other singing acts. They were even outshone by a child singer later on; it's no great loss that they probably won't be in the final (even though they didn't come 1st or 2nd place the judges could still give them their wildcard).

Now we're onto Davros. This act was terrible - and not in a good way. Davros saw the first buzzed off act of the series, which requires all four judges to buzz. Even David Walliams hated it and he's both a Whovian and enjoys the joke acts. I did agree with Alesha when she invited him back next year to try stand-up though, as he is a very funny man who seems to have chosen the wrong act to demonstrate his talent. I could see him making a brilliant stand-up comedian.

Thankfully the next act was so much better. Jasmine Elcock sung the song Wings and was absolutely stunning. She came 2nd in the results but really deserved to win the semi final night. The only problem with Jasmine is that she is arguably too similar to Beau Dermott (also in the final) and you could argue whether we really needed another act like 12 year old Beau. It's funny how it only leaves David Walliams' out of the Golden Buzzers that didn't get through.

This was followed by your typical BGT dog act Trip Hazard, a dancing dog that was better than the performance by last year's winners Jules, Matisse and Friends on the previous night's results show. They did a lovely Beauty and the Beast routine with owner Lucy dressed as Belle. It was a little odd having the dog presented as a meal at the start of the routine but the tricks were better than in the audition and it was definitely an act that improved on its initial appearance on Britain's Got Talent. It's a shame they didn't get through; hopefully they'll get either the audience or judges' wildcard.

The act after Trip I have huge respect for. The Togni Brothers are two brothers who perform an acrobatic act involving one brother stood on and performing acrobatic tricks on the other brothers' feet. Unfortunately the act went wrong when one of the brothers fell during one of these acrobatic tricks but amazingly they kept going and you've got to admire them for that. It must be awful when such a dangerous act goes wrong and I bet many fall apart over it, but at least it proves its live and it really shows their professionalism when they soldier on regardless. As Queen would say, the show must go on.

And now we're onto the winning act: impressionist Craig Ball. He sang the song Hello with various impressions of cartoon characters such as Mickey Mouse, Peter Griffin and Kermit the frog. Whilst he was good, I didn't think he was anything outstanding and I'm shocked that he somehow managed to win the semi final. The problem that I have with his act is that he needs to show who he's doing the impressions of in order for it to work and usually that's the sign of a bad impressionist. I much preferred the Mimic Men and still don't understand how he got through over them.

Second to last act Chloe Fenton was my favourite of the night. In fact, I voted for her ten times. She was fantastic with her dance routine; very energetic and so very entertaining to watch. It's incredible how she has all that energy fizzing up inside her. For some reason, people on Facebook didn't seem to understand her act but I thought Chloe was incredible and the real winner in my eyes. She definitely should have won over Kermit the frog.

The show ended with your typical school choir. Don't get me wrong, the Presentation School Choir are hugely talented but I just find choirs so boring and unengaging to watch unless they offer something different or unique. You see them so often on Britain's Got Talent that you can't help but roll your eyes and think to yourself 'not again'. I'm glad they didn't get through.

One thing that really annoyed me is how Alesha Dixon never apologised for her appalling behaviour in semi final four. She surely must know by now she upset a lot of people and it is disgusting that she didn't acknowledge her actions were wrong. I wish Simon Cowell would fire her from the panel but even though in real life it would result in a sack, she'll probably still be a Britain's Got Talent judge at least until the end of this series if not 2017 as well.

Overall, Britain's Got Talent's semi finals finished on a high that was unfortunately spoilt by no apology over Alesha Dixon's behaviour and the wrong act winning the semi final night.

The Stockbridge Showdown

It's amazing to think that not only has Doctor Who Magazine lasted 500 issues, but that by doing so it has broken the Guinness World Record for longest running TV tie-in magazine. One of my favourite features about DWM has always been the comic strip so it's nice that it formed a major part of the magazine's celebrations.

The Stockbridge Showdown sees the 12th Doctor return to Stockbridge, a prominent village in the Doctor's magazine adventures. The TARDIS has 'found' UFO spotter Maxwell Edison who the Doctor needs as 'local knowledge' to find the cause of some temporal distortions. This quite rightly feels like a celebration of Doctor Who Magazine, with popular comic characters from the magazine's past 500 issues returning such as Frobisher, Magenta Price and of course, Maxwell himself. The problem is that some of these character inclusions feel forced and don't really compliment the narrative. The story is good overall for a comic strip although I can't help but think it would have worked better as just a 12th Doctor and Max tale.

My other problem with is that the conclusion feels a bit rushed and somewhat convenient. Don't get me wrong, the twist of who the trap is really for is clever but it feels more than a little forced, especially the way Frobisher is revealed. The comic strip had a few extra pages than usual but with the number of characters featured in the strip it would probably have benefitted from numerous parts. One thing you can't deny though is that it does undeniably feel comic book-y with the numerous characters featured. It wouldn't be a story that would work on TV but as a comic strip it is workable.

The use of different artists from DWM's past didn't quite work in its favour either. It's a great idea to have numerous artists like Dave Gibbons and Adrian Salmon work on one strip but ultimately in execution it didn't pay off. There are too many comic strip styles on display and the whole thing feels disjointed rather than one whole piece. It's like the artists couldn't agree on one style to use so opted for different ones. It can occasionally make for a muddled and confusing read as the sudden change drags you out of the story.

The dialogue by Dave Gibbons and Roger Langridge is brilliant though. They have got the characterisation of the 12th Doctor perfect and clearly know their DWM history. In fact, it feels like a natural progression from the 12th Doctor as seen in The Husbands of River Song (interesting fact: this is actually the first Doctor-only, no Clara comic strip from DWM). The dialogue is completely faultless and probably one of the most authentic 12th Doctor comic strips I have read.

Overall, The Stockbridge Showdown certainly isn't among DWM's best comic strips. The dialogue is strong and the idea of using different artists from the magazine's history is a good one but unfortunately it just doesn't quite gel in execution and a lot of the characters feel somewhat forced into the narrative rather than fitting in naturally.

In the paper today, in an article on his A Midsummer Night's Dream, Russell T Davies is described as "the man who sexed up Doctor Who". Interesting choice of words, as "sexed up" doesn't wholly suggest something good in retrospect. In its literal sense it was always something that bothered me about his approach – remember the policeman asking the Doctor if he was in a sexual relationship with Rose? (and seemed satisfied with the responses all too quickly); but he's tame compared to Steven Moffat.

Sexed up, used like that, just means jazzed up, doesn't it?

__________________
5-time MoFo Award winner.

Yeah, 'sexed up' is an odd choice of words. 'Re-energised' would make more sense.

I'm not sure. It suggests something is sexualised to me.

The Fantastic Four

Many people tend to forget that there was a Fantastic Four film before the 2005 Tim Story version. German production company Constantin Film (who still own the rights today) bought the rights from 1983 but due to budget concerns were unable to find a company to distribute it. Of course, Fox are behind the Fantastic Four distribution as of current. The rights were due to expire in 1992; after being refused the extension producer Bernd Eichinger decided to make a low-budget version with B-movie director Roger Corman. The film was never actually released but you can watch it for free on YouTube.

The film tells the story of the Fantastic Four's origin; Reed (Alex Hyde-White), Susan (Rebecca Staab), Ben (Michael Bailey-Smith) and Johnny (Jay Underwood) gain their powers from cosmic rays that break through Reed's cosmic shield and together they become the Fantastic Four - a dysfunctional superhero family unit who work together to fight supervillains. The Fantastic Four have a number of memorable villains in the comics ranging from the Puppet Master to Galactus (it's a shame Marvel/Disney currently can't use them); here, they are shown fighting Doctor Doom (Joseph Culp) and 'The Jewler' (Ian Trigger) who I still can't work out if he was supposed to be the Mole Man of the comics or not. What I really admire about this film is the way that it improves the team's origin. In the comics, it kind of falls flat because you would expect someone with the intelligence of Reed Richards would have been able to invent something capable of stopping the cosmic rays from entering the spacecraft. Here, however, the origin makes more sense as it is a deliberate sabotage due to the replacement of a diamond being used to power the cosmic shield with a fake copy (meaning that they fail). This is the origin that the Fantastic Four deserve - it remains faithful to the comic book's origin whilst also improving on it so it makes more sense.

Another plus is how faithful it remains to the Fantastic Four comics. Reed has his trademark grey pieces of hair, Doctor Doom actually looks like Doctor Doom and the spacecraft crash happens in a field that resembles where they discover their powers in the comics. It's extremely close to the first comic book story. If the Jewler is the Mole Man, then they even have the Mole Man appear in their first adventure as in the comics. It also squeezes in the brilliant character of Alicia (Kat Green), the kind blind girlfriend of The Thing who due to her disability sees him only as Ben Grimm and not the monster he has become. It feels like watching a Fantastic Four comic; more so than any of the other Fantastic Four films so far.

It is unfortunately let down by some poor acting. Reed and Victor's (who, of course, later becomes Doctor Doom - why does he always have to have some connection to the Fantastic Four in the films?) friendship is never convincing largely because Alex Hyde-White and Joseph Culp have no chemistry together. In fact, both seem a little dull. I wasn't entirely convinced by Alex-Hyde White and Rebecca Staab as a couple either because it largely feels forced and it's a bit weird seeing them meet once when they were younger then suddenly seeming so familiar with one another ten years later. Michael Bailey-Smith is a little better as Ben Grimm but you don't really get to see enough of his friendship with Reed before the fast-forward and the formation of the Fantastic Four. The best of the four leads is probably Jay Underwood as Johnny. He's nothing compared to Chris Evans' Human Torch but still brilliantly plays the cocksure hotheaded attitude of Johnny Storm. He pretty much steals the film and provides the most memorable performance of any of the actors in the film.

The acting is likely not the reason why this take on Fantastic Four was never released commercially though. Whilst special effects aren't a major concern for me when I decide to watch a TV show or movie, a lot of the effects in this film are terrible and you can tell they were made on the cheap. The most obvious example is The Thing, who looks horrendous - like something you'd put together with items from Poundland. It's not just the costume that looks bad but simple movement like the lips when he talks or the raising of the eyebrows. Nothing really looks convincing about it. The flying effect for Johnny Storm looks pretty ropey too; you can tell it's a very early cheap CG sequence and his body really isn't flying or on fire and it could take some viewers out of the movie. If you're used to watching low-budget films or TV shows like the classic series of Doctor Who you'll probably be fine though.

Overall, the 1994 Fantastic Four film is a faithful adaptation of the comics that is unfortunately let down by bad acting and some ropey special effects. It's still the most accurate version of the Fantastic Four so far though, if not the best (I still prefer the Tim Story films) and it manages to improve on the Fantastic Four's origin story.

Oh yes, they most likely mean in that way. I'm just making the point that his Doctor Who was also more sexually aware.