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Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 4
JP's Reviews
Posted By JPRetana
JP's Reviews

BEAST 0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQMc7Sq36mI
I think the key to figuring out this movie is an early scene in which one of the characters is wearing a Jurassic Park shirt. This must be the...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
The Painting (Le Tableau)
Posted By JPRetana
The Painting (Le Tableau)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5Vtk9jhfmw
3.5
Le Tableau is a rather clever pastiche of Romeo and Juliet and The Wizard of Oz. It’s also a palimpsest, rich in content and meaning below the...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Bad Company (1995)
Posted By JPRetana
Bad Company (1995)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WBdyJAihWI
3
Bad Company is basically the neo-noir version of Deep Cover, released three years earlier; both films star Laurence Fishburne (reminding us that his...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 2
Undisputed
Posted By JPRetana
Undisputed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Diy3fuwhxQw
1.5
A very good movie could be made with Wesley Snipes, Ving Rhames, Michael Rooker, Wes Studi and Peter Falk; Undisputed is not that movie, and the...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Undisputed II: Last Man Standing
Posted By JPRetana
Undisputed II: Last Man Standing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGVavZQmZjU
0.5
Undisputed 2: Last Man Standing is a rather ironic sequel, but I'm afraid the irony is entirely accidental. The fights here are definitely illegal,...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Blood and Bone
Posted By JPRetana
Blood and Bone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyOtQr5u-uY
1
Blood and Bone reminds me of a character in The Boondocks who had an irrational fear of going to jail and being anally raped. Here's an action movie...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Get Rich or Die Tryin'
Posted By JPRetana
Get Rich or Die Tryin'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG46_SvgtRI
1
Get Rich or Die Tryin' reminds me of the apocryphal Chinese curse 'may you live in interesting times'. The most interesting thing that has happened to...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 1
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (2009)
Posted By JPRetana
0 The only thing that’s beyond a reasonable...

0
The only thing that’s beyond a reasonable doubt here is this movie’s stupidity. The film opens with District Attorney Mark Hunter (Michael Douglas) addressing the jury at a murder trial: “The...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 3
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Posted By JPRetana
The Island of Dr. Moreau

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8tVk61sHsQ
2
Rumors about The Island of Dr. Moreau’s suckage have been greatly exaggerated. The real problem with this film isn't so much that it's bad, but that...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 20
Dorian Gray Review
Posted By JPRetana
0 It's a shame that such a theoretically...

0
It's a shame that such a theoretically perfect Dorian Gray as Stuart Townsend was wasted on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Sure, at 31, Townsend was arguably too old for the role in 2003,...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
November (2017 Estonian horror film)
Posted By JPRetana
November (2017 Estonian horror film)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6nXObRVhRc
3
In the real world, magical thinking is a type of fallacy and a source of many superstitions, but in a film like November, it can be the difference...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Madonna and the Breakfast Club
Posted By JPRetana
Madonna and the Breakfast Club

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwHuHiEIB6Y
0
Madonna and the Breakfast Club is ostensibly a documentary about Madonna's days as a starving artist in New York with her first band, the titular....
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 0
Seize the Night
Posted By JPRetana
Seize the Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SiB4HFQ9Lo
1.5
Seize the Night is a modest affair. How modest? A character points to the Hollywood sign but there’s no cut to a shot of the landmark (not even stock...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 22
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (Netflix)
Posted By JPRetana
4 Plot-wise, I’m Thinking of Ending Things is...

4
Plot-wise, I’m Thinking of Ending Things is deceptively simple — and yet it likes to dance around its subject, figuratively an literally; towards the end there is an actual interpretive dance...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-13-22
Replies: 6
Palm Springs review
Posted By JPRetana
Palm Springs

0
According to Roger Ebert, "When you find yourself needing the phrase This is like Groundhog Day to explain how you feel, a movie has accomplished something." And when you need the phrase 'this is...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 11
Marvel's Disney's Chloe Zhao's Eternals
Posted By JPRetana
Eternals

0
The Eternals have lived on Earth for 7,000 years. That’s a long time, but their movie somehow manages to feel even longer than that. Now, if the Eternals predate the Avengers by a few millennia,...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 2
Prisoners
Posted By JPRetana
Prisoners (2013)

3.0
Prisoners is a carefully constructed labyrinth, deceptively simple and very clever. The material was nothing new even when the film was released, but director Denis Villeneuve (pre-Dune) and...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 123
The Suicide Squad
Posted By JPRetana
The Suicide Squad (2021)

0.5
The Suicide Squad is to Suicide Squad what McDowell's is to McDonald's. Suicide Squad had Deadshot, The Suicide Squad has Bloodsport. Suicide Squad had a computer generated anthropomorphic...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 6
Black Widow (2021)
Posted By JPRetana
Black Widow

0.5
Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) takes enough physical punishment to kill a baby elephant, after which she just downs some ibuprofen and she's good as new. Watching this movie,...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 18
Zodiac
Posted By JPRetana
Zodiac

2
Two years before Zodiac, Capote depicted Truman Capote making a fuss about possibly not having an ending for his seminal true crime novel In Cold Blood. Robert Graysmith, on whose non-fiction...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 5
Baby Driver (2017)
Posted By JPRetana
Baby Driver

There is an episode of Tales from the Crypt wherein the protagonist’s conscience sounds just like – and is played by – Sam Kinison. OH! OH! AAAUGH! This is only slightly worse than tinnitus but still...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 214
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Posted By JPRetana
Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

Like the Tate-LaBianca murders, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a senseless massacre; and like Charles Manson's Helter Skelter scenario, the film's script is but the incoherent ranting and raving of...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 55
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Posted By JPRetana
Spider-Man: No Way Home

Spider-Man: No Way Home is like the proverbial blind squirrel that finds a nut every now and then, except that it doesn’t so much find them as it steals them from another squirrel’s hoard. The...
Forum: Movie Reviews 09-12-22
Replies: 159
The Batman (2022)
Posted By JPRetana
The Batman (2022)

The Batman is not a terribly bad movie, but it would be twice as good if it were half as long. How a film that likes to take shortcuts – especially with the Riddler’s ‘riddles’ – can still take...