So, that's the physical side of it. Here's the mental stuff:
Being fat is like being in a bad relationship. When you get out, it's obvious what was happening and why it wasn't worth it. But when you're still in it, you just can't see it clearly. Knowing this, I've managed not to beat myself up about this too badly, but more than once I've thought about all the years in my 20s that could've been so much richer and fuller and more enjoyable if I'd just done all this sooner. I can't say I wish I'd never gotten fat, because losing the weight has been instructive, and I appreciate what I have more this way. But I very much wish I'd fixed it sooner.
One of the things I had a lot of trouble with at first was the idea of wanting better things. I was encouraged by the weight I was losing, but I thought "well, then what? I keep losing weight, but the whole time I'm just dreaming about the food I can't eat? I can't do that forever." And that was right: you can't do that forever. But you don't. Over time you really do come to like the healthier stuff a lot more. The weird thing is, I knew this going in, but I didn't want to want the better stuff. Even the idea of losing the craving for bad food was depressing! Think about that. Think about how addicted to something you have to be not just to indulge it, but to not even want to get rid of the desire to indulge it.
If you keep pressing, though, you come out the other side. Now, the things I ate all the time while trying to lose weight almost feel like indulgences. On days where I'm actively trying to lose, almost everything I eat becomes delicious. I'm more interested in different foods, because not allowing myself to gorge means the flavor matters a lot more. I remember when I was younger and someone told me that fruit used to be a dessert. I thought that was nuts. Fruit, for dessert? Dessert is ice cream with chunks of Snickers in it, dude. Not a freakin' apple. But after awhile it starts to make sense: I've got an apple next to me right now, and when I eat it in a little bit it's going to taste very sweet.
Everyone's different, but for me, I replaced one addiction with another; the addiction of bad food was replaced with an addiction to the feeling I got when I stepped on that scale in the morning and saw it lower than the day before. Or when I realized something was too big to keep wearing and I had to buy something smaller. Or, best of all, when I finally went up to the attic and grabbed some old clothes I'd put away because they were too tight and found they fit again. Or even, yes, the ego-boosting replies you guys post when I talk about it, or when I see someone for the first time since the weight loss and they mention it. Though I try not to let that last one be too big a factor.
But that's how it goes: you can't just shame yourself for being fat. I don't think that works long-term, and even if it does, you're going to be miserable. You have to find good things you like more than bad food. Get addicted to those. I can't tell you the first one's free, but if you can get hooked on that, the positive addiction is going to beat the negative one, every time.
Being fat is like being in a bad relationship. When you get out, it's obvious what was happening and why it wasn't worth it. But when you're still in it, you just can't see it clearly. Knowing this, I've managed not to beat myself up about this too badly, but more than once I've thought about all the years in my 20s that could've been so much richer and fuller and more enjoyable if I'd just done all this sooner. I can't say I wish I'd never gotten fat, because losing the weight has been instructive, and I appreciate what I have more this way. But I very much wish I'd fixed it sooner.
One of the things I had a lot of trouble with at first was the idea of wanting better things. I was encouraged by the weight I was losing, but I thought "well, then what? I keep losing weight, but the whole time I'm just dreaming about the food I can't eat? I can't do that forever." And that was right: you can't do that forever. But you don't. Over time you really do come to like the healthier stuff a lot more. The weird thing is, I knew this going in, but I didn't want to want the better stuff. Even the idea of losing the craving for bad food was depressing! Think about that. Think about how addicted to something you have to be not just to indulge it, but to not even want to get rid of the desire to indulge it.
If you keep pressing, though, you come out the other side. Now, the things I ate all the time while trying to lose weight almost feel like indulgences. On days where I'm actively trying to lose, almost everything I eat becomes delicious. I'm more interested in different foods, because not allowing myself to gorge means the flavor matters a lot more. I remember when I was younger and someone told me that fruit used to be a dessert. I thought that was nuts. Fruit, for dessert? Dessert is ice cream with chunks of Snickers in it, dude. Not a freakin' apple. But after awhile it starts to make sense: I've got an apple next to me right now, and when I eat it in a little bit it's going to taste very sweet.
Everyone's different, but for me, I replaced one addiction with another; the addiction of bad food was replaced with an addiction to the feeling I got when I stepped on that scale in the morning and saw it lower than the day before. Or when I realized something was too big to keep wearing and I had to buy something smaller. Or, best of all, when I finally went up to the attic and grabbed some old clothes I'd put away because they were too tight and found they fit again. Or even, yes, the ego-boosting replies you guys post when I talk about it, or when I see someone for the first time since the weight loss and they mention it. Though I try not to let that last one be too big a factor.
But that's how it goes: you can't just shame yourself for being fat. I don't think that works long-term, and even if it does, you're going to be miserable. You have to find good things you like more than bad food. Get addicted to those. I can't tell you the first one's free, but if you can get hooked on that, the positive addiction is going to beat the negative one, every time.