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Brothers
(directed by Jim Sheridan, 2009)
The decade that brought us things like the war in Afghanistan, terrorists, Osama bin Laden... and Jake Gyllenhaal... is coming to an end in just a few weeks, and Brothers is the absolute perfect closure to it.
Steaming with sexiness and disturbing content, it is very 2000-2009.
The film begins rather bizarrely: Jake Gyllenhaal, as Tommy Cahill, is just released from prison. He's picked up by his older brother, Sam Cahill (the always adorable Tobey Maguire) who is about to head off to Afghanistan to fight in the war. Together, they head off from the prison in a truck. A few miles ahead on the road, the hottest gay man in the world, if not the universe (including parallel universes) has just been left on the side of the road by his psychotic boyfriend (played by that guy who portrayed Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs).
As the psycho boyfriend's car drives away, blaring "Goodbye Horses", the gay guy (who is in his mid 20's) doesn't know what to do. Luckily, Sam and Tommy Cahill happen to drive by. They lick their lips with hunger, get out of the truck, take the gay guy to the woods, have their way with him, take turns sawing him like a log (but sometimes they don't take turns!) and well... you get the picture. Months pass! Sam and Tommy show the gay guy how masculine they are by hunting and killing animals for food. They grow thick beards and look menacing. The gay guy knits underwear and loin cloths for them. Later, Jodie Foster appears, snooping around. She realizes that she's in the wrong fantasy sequence, so she calls Ellen DeGeneres and asks for directions.
Cut to the next day. Sam Cahill is in Afghanistan. His wife, Grace (played by Natalie Portman, based on a character inspired by Grace Jones, I assume) continues living at home with her two little girls. Tommy Cahill sticks around, hanging out in bars -- sometimes he's about to take a shower, but he refuses to remove the towel wrapped around his waist, so all we see is his furry chest and pinchable nipples). Sam's helicopter in Afghanistan crashes and he's assumed dead. Grace cries. There's a memorial service. Tommy remodels her kitchen and becomes a father figure to her two kids...
But her real husband, Sam, isn't dead... he's being tortured in Afghanistan. The torture scenes were very powerful, but for me, the real torture was not getting to see Tobey Maguire or Jake Gyllenhaal naked. Shirtless was good, but, come on! Gimme, gimme, gimme more!
I thought the film was excellent and ended right. A group of ugly teenage girls sat a few rows in front of me - obviously, they had seen New Moon too much by now and needed some fresher man meat and were hoping to stare at my husbands for two hours -- well, these fools got up and left in a huff with the film was over. "That was pointless!" one of them exclaimed. I worry that these kinds of critics are gonna ruin this film's box office gross - that and CRAP like The Blind Side, with Sandra Bullock playing some country hick who rescues a homeless boy and turns him into a football player. URGH! (Actually, I haven't seen this film, but it still irritates me.)
Brothers is a great film -- sexy enough to turn the theater into a sauna. I recommend going again and again to see the movie -- I'm gonna try. And if you happen to see a guy humping the screen, come over and say hi.
(directed by Jim Sheridan, 2009)
The decade that brought us things like the war in Afghanistan, terrorists, Osama bin Laden... and Jake Gyllenhaal... is coming to an end in just a few weeks, and Brothers is the absolute perfect closure to it.
Steaming with sexiness and disturbing content, it is very 2000-2009.
The film begins rather bizarrely: Jake Gyllenhaal, as Tommy Cahill, is just released from prison. He's picked up by his older brother, Sam Cahill (the always adorable Tobey Maguire) who is about to head off to Afghanistan to fight in the war. Together, they head off from the prison in a truck. A few miles ahead on the road, the hottest gay man in the world, if not the universe (including parallel universes) has just been left on the side of the road by his psychotic boyfriend (played by that guy who portrayed Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs).
As the psycho boyfriend's car drives away, blaring "Goodbye Horses", the gay guy (who is in his mid 20's) doesn't know what to do. Luckily, Sam and Tommy Cahill happen to drive by. They lick their lips with hunger, get out of the truck, take the gay guy to the woods, have their way with him, take turns sawing him like a log (but sometimes they don't take turns!) and well... you get the picture. Months pass! Sam and Tommy show the gay guy how masculine they are by hunting and killing animals for food. They grow thick beards and look menacing. The gay guy knits underwear and loin cloths for them. Later, Jodie Foster appears, snooping around. She realizes that she's in the wrong fantasy sequence, so she calls Ellen DeGeneres and asks for directions.
Cut to the next day. Sam Cahill is in Afghanistan. His wife, Grace (played by Natalie Portman, based on a character inspired by Grace Jones, I assume) continues living at home with her two little girls. Tommy Cahill sticks around, hanging out in bars -- sometimes he's about to take a shower, but he refuses to remove the towel wrapped around his waist, so all we see is his furry chest and pinchable nipples). Sam's helicopter in Afghanistan crashes and he's assumed dead. Grace cries. There's a memorial service. Tommy remodels her kitchen and becomes a father figure to her two kids...
But her real husband, Sam, isn't dead... he's being tortured in Afghanistan. The torture scenes were very powerful, but for me, the real torture was not getting to see Tobey Maguire or Jake Gyllenhaal naked. Shirtless was good, but, come on! Gimme, gimme, gimme more!
I thought the film was excellent and ended right. A group of ugly teenage girls sat a few rows in front of me - obviously, they had seen New Moon too much by now and needed some fresher man meat and were hoping to stare at my husbands for two hours -- well, these fools got up and left in a huff with the film was over. "That was pointless!" one of them exclaimed. I worry that these kinds of critics are gonna ruin this film's box office gross - that and CRAP like The Blind Side, with Sandra Bullock playing some country hick who rescues a homeless boy and turns him into a football player. URGH! (Actually, I haven't seen this film, but it still irritates me.)
Brothers is a great film -- sexy enough to turn the theater into a sauna. I recommend going again and again to see the movie -- I'm gonna try. And if you happen to see a guy humping the screen, come over and say hi.