How about best speeches/monologues?

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chunkybeefstyle's Avatar
I'm hearty, dammit!
Everyone knows one, a speech or even short monologue which was highly quotacious, made the movie, or just plain kicked ass. Personal faves:

Napalm monologue by Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now
Watch-up-the-ass monologue by Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction
Patton speech from Patton
anything by R Lee Ermey as Gny. Sgt. Hartman in Full Metal Jacket

Just a few. Don't know why they all have a military origin - must be my good old-fashioned red-blooded American aggression.

You got a problem with that?!?
__________________
Chunky

"Mmmm...sacrilicious..."



Ready!Set!Go!...Er..Actio n!
Nic Cage's carpet speech in "Matchstick Men" springs to mind.

The "just because a life is banged up a bit" speech in Seabiskt.

The brownie winning series of monologues in "Notting Hill".

The monologue that wasn't: Forest Gump addresses the people in DC.

The opening of "Stir of Echos" between the little boy and his friend which ends with "What's it like being dead."

The "Do you believe in God" speech in Signs.

The elevator scene in "Ocean's 11".

The Batman speech in "Two if by Sea"

The Alice speech by Morphus in "Matrix"

Technically a song but "You woulda done it" in Chicago.
__________________
Many blessings, Polite



Can't go wrong with many a quote from the Terminator films.


'I'll be back'
'Asta La Vista, Baby'
'Get him, Termie.'

Nah, kidding about the last one.


Other memorable ones.......


Citizen Cane
'Rosebud!'

Casablanca
That final scene.
The infamously misquoted 'Play it again, Sam'
He never actually said it!

Jerry Maguire
'You had me at hello. You had me at hello.'
'SHOW ME THE MONEY!'


One for Kong

King Kong
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'


2001 A Space Oddyssey
'My god. Its full of stars!'
'Dave? What are you doing Dave?'
'Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer d....... '
__________________
'My mind is full of stars....'



Ready!Set!Go!...Er..Actio n!
American Beauty

Lester (voiceover): My name is Lester Burnham. This is my street. This is my neighborhood. This is my life. I am 42 years old. In less than a year, I will be dead. Of course, I don't know that yet, and in a way, I'm dead already. Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day. It's all downhill from here.

That's my wife Carolyn. See the way the handle on those pruning shears match her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

That's our neighbor, Jim, and that's his lover, Jim.

Man, I get exhausted just watching her. She wasn't always like this. She used to be happy. We used to be happy.

My daughter, Jane. Only child. Janie's a pretty typical teenager: angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass...but I don't want to lie to her. Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser. And in a way, they're right. I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what, but I know I didn't always feel this...sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.


(then, at the end)

Lester: (voice over) I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches forever, like an ocean of time....for me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars...and yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street...Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper...and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird.

And Janie...and Janie. (twice we see his memories of Jane, the second when she was younger, dressed as a princess) And...(with love) Carolyn. (we see a younger happier Carolyn shrieking happily in a carnival ride; we've seen a photo from this long-ago family activity before -- he was looking at one right before his death)

I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

(amused) You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...
You will someday



Tuna's Avatar
Hi
I n 25th hour, Monty's (Edward Norton) bathroom rant sticks out for me.
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Boards don't hit back



Sonny: So what country do you want to go to?

Sal: Wyoming.

Sonny: Sal, Wyoming's not a country.

Sonny: I'm robbing a bank because they got money here. That's why I'm robbing it.

TV Anchorman: No, what I mean is why do you feel you have to steal for money? Couldn't you get a job?

Sonny: Uh, no. Doing what? You know if you want a job you've got to be a member of a union. See, and if you got no union card you don't get a job.

TV Anchorman: What about non-union occupations?

Sonny: What's wrong with this guy? What do you mean non-union, like what? A bank teller? You know how much a bank teller makes a week? Not much. A hundred and fifteen to start, right? Now are you going to live on that? A got a wife and a couple of kids, how am I going to live on that? What do you make a week?

TV Anchorman: Well I'm here to talk to you Sonny...

Sonny: Well I'm talking to you. We're entertainment, right? What do you got for us?

TV Anchorman: Well what do you want to get for it? Do you expect to be paid because--

Sonny: No, I don't want to be paid, I don't need to be paid. Look, I'm here with my partner and nine other people, see. And we're dying, man. You know? You're going to see our brains on the sidewalk, they're going to spill our guts out. Now are you going to show that on television? Have all your housewives look at that? Instead of As The World Turns? I mean what do you got for me? I want something for that.

TV Anchorman: Sonny, you could give up?

Sonny: Give up? Right. Have you ever been in prison?

TV Anchorman: No!

Sonny: No! Well let's talk about something you ****ing know about, okay? How much do you make a week? That's what I want to hear. Are you going to talk to me about that?

Leon: I mean, how do they expect you to get uncrazy if you're asleep all the time?

Sonny: Attica! Attica!

patting down FBI man

Sheldon: I wouldn't like to kill you. I will if I have to.

Sonny: It's your job, right? You know, the guy who kills me, I hope he does it 'cause he hates my guts. Not 'cause it's his job.
__________________
~ Nikki ~

"I'm your hell, I'm your dream.......I'm nothing in between.......You know you wouldn't want it any other way".........

"Listen, when I slap you, you'll take it and like it"..........Humphrey Bogart..........Maltese Falcon.......

Graze on my lips and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie...........William Shakespeare.......



The Bear with the Funk
i like the opening for snatch myself with Turkish and tommy
__________________
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"



Only for the weak
Kevin Spaceys voice over in American Beauty was great.

Ed Norton where he stares at the mirror in 25th Hour, also at the end Brian Cox has a pretty good monologue.

And even though the Matrix is over-hyped and all that, I think when Agent Smith gives the speech about how humans are parasites is pretty cool and true.
__________________
Early morning moments, a glimpse of joy. But soon it's over and I return to dust. As I try to be, everything everyone. I shrivel up and, waste away.



It was beauty killed the beast.
Originally Posted by Nikki
Sonny: So what country do you want to go to?

Sal: Wyoming.

Sonny: Sal, Wyoming's not a country.

Sonny: I'm robbing a bank because they got money here. That's why I'm robbing it.

TV Anchorman: No, what I mean is why do you feel you have to steal for money? Couldn't you get a job?

Sonny: Uh, no. Doing what? You know if you want a job you've got to be a member of a union. See, and if you got no union card you don't get a job.

TV Anchorman: What about non-union occupations?

Sonny: What's wrong with this guy? What do you mean non-union, like what? A bank teller? You know how much a bank teller makes a week? Not much. A hundred and fifteen to start, right? Now are you going to live on that? A got a wife and a couple of kids, how am I going to live on that? What do you make a week?

TV Anchorman: Well I'm here to talk to you Sonny...

Sonny: Well I'm talking to you. We're entertainment, right? What do you got for us?

TV Anchorman: Well what do you want to get for it? Do you expect to be paid because--

Sonny: No, I don't want to be paid, I don't need to be paid. Look, I'm here with my partner and nine other people, see. And we're dying, man. You know? You're going to see our brains on the sidewalk, they're going to spill our guts out. Now are you going to show that on television? Have all your housewives look at that? Instead of As The World Turns? I mean what do you got for me? I want something for that.

TV Anchorman: Sonny, you could give up?

Sonny: Give up? Right. Have you ever been in prison?

TV Anchorman: No!

...............
It took Kong a few moments before he placed what movie this was from, but then it struck him towards the end of the quote: Dog Day Afternoon!


When Kong read this post two monologues immediately jumped into his head, the one from 25th Hour which has been mentioned alot, and this one which was delivered at great speed by the actor Edward G Robinson...

"Come now, you've never read an actuarial table in your life, have you? Why they've got ten volumes on suicide alone! Suicide by race, by color, by occupation, by sex, by seasons of the year, by time of day! Suicide, how committed: by poison, by firearms, by drowning, by leaps! Suicide by poison, subdivided by TYPES of poison, such as corrosive, irritant, systemic, gaseous, narcotic, alkaloid, protein, and so forth. Suicide by leaps, subdivided by leaps from high places, under the wheels of trains, under the wheels of trucks, under the feet of horses, from STEAMBOATS! But Mister Norton! Of all the cases on record, there's not one single case of suicide by leap from the rear end of a moving train! And you know how fast that train was going at the point where the body was found? Fifteen miles an hour! Now how can anybody jump off a slow-moving train like that with any kind of expectation that he would kill himself? No, no soap, Mr. Norton! We're sunk, and we'll have to pay through the nose, and you know it!"

Now, who knows what movie that was from?
__________________
Kong's Reviews:
Stuck On You
Bad Santa



Only for the weak
Double Indemnity


Ps. Yes I cheated and looked it up

It does sound really cool though.



WALTER "GIB" GIBSON
I flunk English, I'm outta here, I kiss college
goodbye. I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably
go home. Gee, Dad'll be pissed off, Mom will
be heartbroken, and if I play my cards right I
get maybe a six-month's grace period, then I
gotta get a job, and you know what that means.
That's right; they start me at the drive-up window
and I gradually work my way up from shakes to
burgers. And then one day my lucky break comes:
the french fry guy dies and they offer me the job.
But the day I'm supposed to start, some men come
by in a black Lincoln Continental and tell me I can
make a quick three-hundred just for drving a van
back from Mexico. When I get out of jail, I'm thirty-
six years old. Living in a flop-house. No job, no home,
no upward mobility, very few teeth. And then one
day they find me, face down, talking to the gutter,
clutching a bottle of paint thinner, and WHY? Because
you wouldn't help me in English. No, you were too
busy to help me. Too busy to help a drowning man!


__________________
"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra



PRESIDENT MERKIN MUFFLEY
Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, can't hear you,
suppose you could turn the music down just
a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I
can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and
coming through fine. I'm coming through fine
too, eh? Good. Then, well as you say, we're
both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good
that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree, it's great
to be fine.

Now then, Dimitri. You know how we've always
talked about something going wrong with The
Bomb...The Bomb, Dimitri. The Hydrogen Bomb.
Well now, what happened is, well...one of our
base commanders, he had a sort of....well, he
went a little funny in the head. You know, just
a little....funny. And, uh, he went and did a silly
thing. Well I'll tell you what he did, he ordered
his planes....to attack your country. Well let me
finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri. Well listen,
how do you think I feel about it? Can you
imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you
think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course
I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello.
Not now, but anytime, Dimitri. I'm just calling to
tell you something terrible has happened. It's a
friendly call, of course it's a friendly call. Listen,
if it wasn't friendly, you probably wouldn't even
have got it.

They will not reach their targets for at least another
hour. I am postitive, Dimitri. Listen, I've been all
over this with your Ambassador, it's not a trick. I'll
tell you: we'd like to give your Air Staff a complete
run-down on targets, flight plans and the defense
systems of the planes. Yes, I mean if we're not
able to recall the planes and...I'd say, well, we're
just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri.
I know they're our boys.

All right now listen, who should we call? Who should
we call, Dimitri? The - sorry, you faded away there.
The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where
is that, Dimitri? In Amsk. Right. Yes. Oh, you'll call
them first, will you? Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen
to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? What? I
see, just ask for Amsk information.

I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry. All right, you're
sorrier than I am, but I can be sorry as well. I am as
sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you're more
sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as
sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All
right.





Sidewinder's Avatar
I ate all your bees.
wow I cannot believe no one has said Pulp Fiction Yet, if any movie has great speeches/monologues is Pulp.

*LANGUAGE MAY OFFEND*

Jules: What country are you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: I never heard of What. They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: [pointing his gun] Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, mother****er! Say "what" one more ******* time!
Brett: He's b-b-black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder]
Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Brett: NO!
Jules: Then why you trying to **** him like a bitch, Brett?
Brett: I didn't!
Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to **** him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be ****ed by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

Vincent: I've got a threshold, Jules, I've got a threshold for the abuse that I'll take and right now I'm a racecar, man, and you got me in the red. I'm just saying, I'm just SAYING it's ****ing dangerous to have a racecar in the ****ing red, that's all. I might blow.
Jules: Oh, you ready to blow? Well I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying mother****er, mother****er! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm Superfly TNT, I'm the Guns of the Navarone. IN FACT, what the **** am I doing in the back? You the mother****er should be on brain detail! We ****ing switching, I'm washing the windows and you picking up this ******'s skull!

Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother****ers. Pigs sleep and root in ****. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got enough sense to disregard its own faeces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eat their own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, it'd cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we gotta be talkin' about one charmin' mother****in' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?
Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the **** a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: Then what do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a "Royale" with cheese.
Jules: A "Royale" with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac".
Jules: "Le Big-Mac"! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.


Cheers, yay for my first post!



Only for the weak
I agree Samuel L Jacksons speech where he quotes the bible is amazing, but alot of that is dialogue.



I must become Caligari..!


MOOKIE: Dago, wop, garlic-breath, guinea, pizza-slinging, spaghetti-bending, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio,nonsinging
mother****er.

PINO: You gold-teeth, gold-chain-wearing, fried-chicken-and-biscuit-eatin', monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast-running, three-hundred-sixty-degree-basketball-dunking spade Moulan Yan.

STEVIE:You slant-eyed, me-no-speak-American, own every fruit and vegetable stand in New York, Reverend Moon, Summer Olympics '88, Korean kick-boxing bastard.

OFFICER LONG: Goya bean-eating, fifteen in a car, thirty in an apartment, pointed shoes, red-wearing, Menudo, meda-meda Puerto Rican **********.
__________________
It's a god-awful small affair, To the girl with, the mousy hair, But her mummy is yelling "No", and her daddy has told her to go, But her friend is nowhere to be seen, Now she walks through her sunken dream, To the seat with the clearest view, And she's hooked to the silver screen, But the film is a saddening bore, For she's lived it ten times or more...



I must become Caligari..!


RENTON : Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suit on hire purchase in a range of f*cking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the f*ck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f*cking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarassment to the selfish, f*cked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life .



Wow, Sidewinder, I can't believe you don't know what a monologue is yet. Don't fret though. Apparently you're not the only one.

And somebody did mention Pulp Fiction. In fact, it's in the very first post of this thread - Walken's Vet Captain Koons delivering the bit about a certain watch and anal cavities.