Thank you (especially for the commiseration)! Yeah, I keep coming back to the fact it was a Tuesday which is a bit of a point I’m clearly mentally stuck on, but I still feel like it’s so ridiculous, stuff like that just doesn’t happen on a Tuesday.
I loved
Titane, it was profoundly ****ed-up (just as I like ‘em…), much better than
Raw, and I’m overdue a rewatch, so thanks for that. Funnily enough, I started writing the initial post pretty soon after it all happened (I guess this is my safe place), but then went back and forth about posting (ended up going to the Shoutbox first) and was just in complete and utter shock, but anyway, my first thought was Cronenberg’s
Crash, and then my brain went,
Might be best if I don’t mention that one, because, yeah, I’m not even going there. I’m still feeling profoundly weird, but not
that weird. (I adore the film though so in that sense it’s perfectly apt).
I never was afraid of RTAs as such, but I always felt uncomfortable behind the wheel, hated driving lessons and just felt that the whole thing wasn’t for me; the expectation that the driver pays attention to everything at all times, looks everywhere and is just completely ****ing omniscient and omnipresent had always really bothered me, I have synesthesia, for crying out loud, I concentrate on the task at hand like a maniac and can forget to eat, but other than that, I’m overly sensitive to stimuli, and this need to do everything at the same time and not die is just too much. Besides, I can barely leave the house/work/function without headphones (I’ve never in my life driven in headphones, I’m not suicidal), and driving without music is even more stressful; I need it to tune things out which then in turn impacts safety.
Well, that was a rant, but it sort of sums up my state of mind.
Shockingly, this morning I drove to the garden centre a 12-minute walk away from my house (no, I don’t know why, either), and the world didn’t end, so I guess I can still drive.
But overall yes, I’m a mess. Yesterday when I was at work I had a lovely leisurely chat with my boss in the main conference room… looked around at the glass walls and saw 20 people politely waiting outside for us to finish… (it’s the biggest enormous meeting room) and just went back to my convo. He’s a lovely guy and I adore him so he just went, ‘Yup, I guess no one is kicking you out of a meeting room.’
So then I get up, we leave, pass the 20 people, he gestures at them and says, ‘Aren’t you in that meeting?’.
It’s fascinating and scary how all mental capacity just
goes, poof.