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I acted with Katharine Hepburn

Hollywood actor Christopher Reeve made a reply one night to host James Lipton on the Bravo TV program "Inside the Actor's Studio".

When Reeve was asked what it was liked to have acted with Katharine Hepburn, he delighted the audience with his reply:

"People say I acted with Katharine Hepburn.
The truth is I acted near Katharine Hepburn."



Once upon a time there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position. He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.

Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM....... ROBIN HOOD!!!

The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!

He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!

The crowd cheers!!!

Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!

Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!!!



Ex-Wife!!!

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married, I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't! "



Scared Swimmer!

While fishing off the Australia coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of crocodiles kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any crocs around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the crocs?"

"We didn't do nothing," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."



What a Massage!

"Where's the barber who worked on the next chair?" asked the old customer as he was getting a shave.

Hadn't you heard about Bill? said the barber. It was a very sad case.

He grew nervous and despondent over poor business, and one day when a customer said he didn't care for a massage he suddenly went out of his mind and slashed the customer's throat. He is in the asylum for the criminal insane now. Will you be having a massage, sir?

Sure, go ahead! said the customer.



all posts in this thread must be followed by a
but i like Jay Leno more than this thread.



Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a recent college graduate trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette.

One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.

Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"

The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the company."



A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis.

"That's impossible," the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. "She had an appendectomy last year. Don't be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?"

"No, you are the moron!" the husband replied. "Haven't you ever seen anybody with a second wife?"



A blonde asked a farmer, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?"

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, cattle can do a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep them trimmed down. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow doesn't have horns is because it's a horse."



Women Hunters

Three women, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are lost in the forest while hunting. They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. Then the redhead gets up and goes hunting.

She comes back with 2 rabbits.

The other two say, "Wow, where did you get that?"

She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped."

Then the brunette leaves and comes back with a deer.

The other two say, "Wow, Where did you get that?"

She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped."

The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue.

They others say, "Wow, where did you get that?"

She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn't stop!!



Eye Check Up

A Russian, visiting India, went for an eye check up.

The Doctor shows the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY

Doctor: Can you read this ?

Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy..., he's my cousin.



After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice...

"Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know its the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart etc. etc...."

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly, when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice, "Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!"

Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer.



Funny WhatsApp Status

1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.

2. Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he reached Dubai!!!

3. Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 Month. Living in Paradise???

4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free Are you?????

5. From first day their status is, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp' I Know ! That's why you're on my list!

6. Someone writes "urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?

7. Someone says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude then throw away your phone.. You are not using the phone's Primary function.

8. Someone is 'at d movies' for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns d theatre or sells popcorn there....



A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts...
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."



I just seen this on a computer board and thought it was funny.

A rabbit, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, “So, what'll ya have?”
“Oh, nothing for me,” replies the rabbit. “I'm only here because of autocorrect.




I just seen this on a computer board and thought it was funny.

A rabbit, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the rabbit, “So, what'll ya have?”
“Oh, nothing for me,” replies the rabbit. “I'm only here because of autocorrect.


I've had this picture on my cell phone for a couple of years:

I guess great minds think alike.

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If I answer a game thread correctly, just skip my turn and continue with the game.
OPEN FLOOR.



I've had this picture on my cell phone for a couple of years:

I guess great minds think alike.

that picture made me laugh lol
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