Omni's Random Video Noise

Hullo

09-15-16

Added to the OP:

New Trope Lexicon:
Monogamy Syndrome: When the idea of polygamy triggers a possessive character to behave irrationally, often derailing the plot.
Overnight Romance: When characters spend less time developing a romantic relationship in-universe than the actual runtime of the movie.
Sad Chekov: When Chekhov's Gun is implied, but neglected.
Schindler's Twist: When a Bad Guy performs a plot-critical Heel-Face Turn without any warning or apparent provocation.

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Movie Reviews | Anime Reviews
Top 100 Action Movie Countdown (2015): List | Thread
"Well, at least your intentions behind the UTTERLY DEVASTATING FAULTS IN YOUR LOGIC are good." - Captain Steel

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

WELL, after that complete and utter CRAP, it's time to purge my brain of all the bad thoughts and watch something good. Let's watch something wholesome and family friendly.

Hentai Kamen

Superhero Erotic Comedy / Japanese / 2013

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

For the Action Movie Countdown.

I'm NOT a pervert!

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*

"If I could wear the panties of the girl I love, I could gain power most unfathomable."

Egg Whites, Burgers, and Chicken, a scene that could not end fast enough.

If the concept is not enough to sell you on one of the most mercenary viewing experiences of your life, DON'T WATCH IT.

If, however, you're like me; a complete and total ****ing doofus, you'll get a few laughs.

Hentai Kamen is the origin story of the superhero, "Masked Pervert", a seemingly ordinary guy born of a dominatrix and a cop. One day a new student shows up at school and he becomes immediately smitten, but when she's instantly captured by Bad Guys, he accidentally finds himself wearing a pair of used panties on his face WHICH UNLOCKS HIS HIDDEN POTENTIAL FOR DELIVERING PERVERTED JUSTICE!

Read as: guy in little more than a thong pronouncing simmering heroic monolgues before delivering each and every enemy's face in swift collision with his crotch, invigorating his power to the tune of Michael Jackson shrieks.

It is just as ****ing insane as it sounds. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Soon enough, a gang of low-lifes hire an array of mundane thematic baddies such as Pleasant Man, Gay Man, and Slender-But-Fit Man to stop him, but it's not until a teacher steals away his crush's affection and becomes his imposter, ruining his good name in public and defeating Hentai Kamen is an overly drawn out Villain Monologue about how he's actually WAY MORE perverted than Hentai Kamen because he dares to wear panties on his face inside out in order to deny himself the smell he desires, for HUMILIATION GIVES HIM GREAT POWER.

And if you're even remotely versed in anime you know it can't possibly be over until Leading Lady Love Interest gifts Hentai Kamen the ultimate power, her own personal panties, FOR THE WORLD.

Seriously, this movie is ****ing stupid and even if you can tune in like I can, that's not going to stop that extraordinarily awkward moment where you realize you're watching two grown men with underwear on their faces having a crotch thrusting contest in a quiet empty gym.

Surprise your friends and show 'em this. Then you'll be "that guy".

Final Verdict:

[Pretty Good]

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Last edited by Omnizoa; 09-15-16 at 06:11 PM.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

WELL, after that complete and utter CRAP, it's time to purge my brain of all the bad thoughts and watch something good. Let's watch something wholesome and family friendly.

Hentai Kamen

Superhero Erotic Comedy / Japanese / 2013

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

For the Action Movie Countdown.

I'm NOT a pervert!

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*

post error

Final Verdict:

[Pretty Good]

Short, concise and to the point. I like it!

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Why not just kill them? I'll do it! I'll run up to Paris - bam, bam, bam, bam. I'm back before week's end. We spend the treasure. How is this a bad plan?

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Clazor

Short, concise and to the point. I like it!

I actually accidentally hit a key, I've added more.

Sexy Celebrity

Msg

Registered User

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

That was the best damn zombie movie I've ever seen.

I completely agree.

CosmicRunaway

Winner by Default

09-15-16

Rating Kingsman without at least seeing as far as the Church scene is like rating Star Wars on its opening text crawl.

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Originally Posted by CosmicRunaway

Rating Kingsman without at least seeing as far as the Church scene is like rating Star Wars on its opening text crawl.

Would have to be a really hideous text crawl.

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Seriously though, Kingsman was wicked boring. I saw it listed as a comedy, but what incredibly few jokes there were did not amuse me.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

I actually accidentally hit a key, I've added more.

Thought as much, only joking

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Omnizoa
Seriously, this movie is ****ing stupid and even if you can tune in like I can, that's not going to stop that extraordinarily awkward moment where you realize you're watching two grown men with underwear on their faces having a crotch thrusting contest in a quiet empty gym.

*Two minutes of quietly shaking with laughter because can't get air enough to produce sound*

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Clazor

*Two minutes of quietly shaking with laughter because can't get air enough to produce sound*

*pats on back* You okay?

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Seriously though, you sould watch the church scene if nothing else.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

On second thought, if you don't like gore then maybe not watch it.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

*pats on back* You okay?

Absolutley, will just have to find this movie.

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Clazor

Seriously though, you sould watch the church scene if nothing else.

*sigh* Fine.

*watches*

I'll admit it's pretty good, it explains how it got so much attention. It's the same hectic cinematography, but now it's got some choreography to match. Would make a decent highlight in most other action movies.

Keepin' my score, though. The movie just tastes altogether bitter and unfunny.

Omnizoa

Hullo

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Clazor

On second thought, if you don't like gore then maybe not watch it.

There's way worse then that in Return of the Living Dead.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

There's way worse then that in Return of the Living Dead.

True, though I don't remember much of the movie except Linea Quigley dancing naked on a grave...and then having her guts ripped out by zombies. So yeah, that would constitute more gore that Kingsman. Point to you, Omni.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

Especially as she also comfirmes that to be the absolutley worst way she thought she could die. Cruel irony, thy name is zombie.

Clazor

Nothing good comes from staying with normal people

09-15-16

O holy crap, I just discovered...it got a sequel. Hentai Kamen got a sequel that released this year. May the madman in Borat's swimsuit have mercy on us all!

Clazor