Best Timed Jokes ever...

After watching a few of my favourite comedies this weekend, I noticed that it's often the delivery, the timing of the jokes themselves that make the jokes funny, not the actual lines. Here are two of the all time greatest delivered jokes in the movies. If you haven't seen the movie then I don't think you'll get them.

When Harry Met Sally

"I'll have what she's having"

And my all time favourite

Parenthood

"If she's so smart, why is she sitting in the neighbour's car".


Any additions... I'm sure I can think of more.

__________________
I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

How bout a specific few scenes in a movie.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"The Christmas Dinner" - I can't stop laughing whenever it comes to this part.

__________________
"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

I loved that scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" where Indy shoots the swordsman... classic.

The Jerk

"I was born a poor black child..."

First time I saw that, and everytime I see it I start rollin.

I believe that as ad-libbed, too. Hilarious. George Clooney's "yeah" was perfectly delivered in "Ocean's Eleven," BTW. Other than that, I'd have to say virtually every joke in "O Brother Where Art Thou" and "Raising Arizona" would qualify...though NO ONE can touch "The Hudsucker Proxy" on the subject of comedic timing.

This WAS a great line!

In the movie, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Rick Morranis is in that sling, looking for the kids in the lawn with a magnifying glass, and some people are standing there watching him. When Morranis sees them looking at him oddly, he says," It's very delicate...the lawn."

Another great timed joke in Parenthood, Morranis and his " wife" are discussing their concerns about letting their child play with Steve Martin's youngest child. The wife says," He's a normal three year old." Then they look at the kid and he has a bucket on his head and he's ramming into the wall over and over again. Morranis looks at the wife like, "see...?".

Ferris Bueller's sister is sitting in the police station. Charlie Sheen says," You know who you need to talk to?"
She says," If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testical."
He says," Oh, you know him?"
She clenches her fist.
Classic dead-on timing.

I like another scene from Ferris Bueller with Ed Rooney's Secretary, Grace, is pulling a pencil out of her hair, then she pulls another, and another, and another....

Naw, Sheen was good there, but it wasn't that exchange that was perfect...it was the "drugs" discussion.

That last line was PERFECT. 100% perfect.

Yeah...Yeah..but EVERY exchange in that movie is 100% perfect. Ya know, we could on and on...

..." Never had one lesson."

Stop! Stop! No more F.B. refs! New movie! New Movie!

I said that last one wrong anyways. It sounded funny when I posted it, but I'm not at home so can't reference that so sorry to those who know it's wrong.

A Bug's Life

Tuck And Roll - "You Fired, You Fired...YOU FIRED!!!"
The Outtakes

I'm sorry but the Tuck and Roll one was funny because my boss and I always used to joke about when I did something really wrong he would let me know by yelling out that line.

Howabout another cartoon movie?

Iron Giant:

" Welcome to Coolsville. Population? Us."

~or~

" Hey buddy..."
" Yeah?"
" You're right in the middle of the roa-"
"-YEAH?!"

I liked it when Hogart was saying grace and the Giant's hand was getting into things.

" GET OUT OF HERE!....uh...satan."

Actually it's 100% dead-on according to my memory.

Young Frankenstein the part were he tells them not to let him out no matter what he says then when the close the door and they lock it Frankenstein gets up and starts grawling AAARRRRHHHH Gene Wilder walks back to the door and tells them to open the door but they don't he says I was joking see HA ! HA ! HA ! HA ! that whole scene is pefectly timed and laid out.

They've just had the big argument in Almost Famous.
There is a pause and then Jeff says:

"And another thing! Your looks have become a problem!"

__________________
www.esotericrabbit.com

Or....I LOVE THIS F*CKING KITCHEN!!!

OR....

"You are real. This room is real. This..real..all real. In 11 years it's going to be 1984, think about THAT!"

"Want to see me feed a mouse to my snake?"

"Yes."