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Omnizoa

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06-02-16

Changeling

Drama / English / 2008

WHY'D I WATCH IT?

Originally Posted by Omnizoa

Honestly, for me, a movie that shows me the how monstrous humans can be are movies that focus not on their actions, but on their mindset. How they sickly justify it to themselves. Some movies are really good at that.

Reassessment time.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*

I suppose it's commendable to some extent for a movie to broach big topics, but it's unfortunate when the movie itself is both figuratively and literally subsumed by reality.

The movie's okay. The story works, scenes are appropriately emotional, the acting's solid with the possible exception of Jeffrey Donovan who's southern accent suddenly takes on an Irish quality. Regardless he manages a pretty despicable bad guy, so that works.

There are a couple leaps in logic such as how Angelina Jolie's character Christine Collins somehow, if at least temporarily, apparently buys being told she's too distraught to recognize her own son.

I don't care if the kid's malnourished and the rest of her family was shot in front of her eyes, she's known her son his entire life, that's not a plausible mistake to make, let alone handwave (are you SURE it's not your son?).

The movie starts off pretty solid and manages that for I dunno, about half it's length before we get into the final stretch where we start playing that old game of Spot The Ending.

Is this the last scene of the movie? Okay.

Is this the last scene of the movie? Okay.

Is this the last scene of the movie? Okay.

To be honest there are some great scenes in the movie, particularly one which is the whole reason I rewatched it because it presents the resident doctor at a mental hospital (*ding!) as one of the most LOVEABLE TO HATE VILE SCUMBAGS IN THE PLANET YOU JUST WANT TO PUNCH HIS FALLACIOUS ****ING TEETH OUT.

Word-twistin' mother****er. That's some grandmaster chess levels of dickery and in fact this is what I was referring to in the post about Schindler's List. It doesn't bother me to see an image of one person callously killing another person as much as it bothers me to see someone contort and pervert logic so as to justify anything, particularly from a indisputable position of authority.

I'm honestly not entirely sure why it bothers me so much. Perhaps it's because this is the source of the atrocities we see in things like World War II. This is corruption, pure and simple, and it plagues their mind, unbidden by empathy or beholden to dissenters. It's mercilessly cruel chaos and it's unstoppable from it's perch, CRUSHING any hope of justice or retribution.

I wanna claw his eyes out, punch him in the throat, and cave his skull in with something ironic. **** that guy.

And **** mental hospitals. Those places suck. I-I mean... heh, I assume... ( o_o)

Favorite scene of the movie though.

ANYWAY, other than the movie lacking a certain punch to it that comes from what I believe is a slightly off-focus attention to it's various elements, there's KIND OF A PROBLEM when it comes to Real Life Stories like this. In that it's very blatantly misrepresented.

On one hand, there were two killers, not one, the guy's mom was involved. Also, that happy ending? Where the two main police dudes were fined and lost their jobs? And the whole courtroom applauded and cheered? Smiles all around? Yeah.

They never paid that fine.

They got their jobs back.

And Christine's son is still dead.

~And They Lived Happily Ever After!~

Yes, it seems police corruption is alive and well.

What is it with California anyway?

First, Changeling's protagonist is committed by corrupt cops in 2008, cops get away with it,

then L.A. Noire's protagonist dies investigating corrupt cops in 2011, cops get away with it,

then this very real man is repeatedly stabbed to death by corrupt cops just 5 months ago, cops get away with it.

It's almost as if the police don't answer to anybody, have no accountability, possess a disproportionate amount of resources despite that, and are free to exploit, abuse, and murder people through the control of information and the fundamentally flawed justice system which enables them.

And guess who pays their salary?

You got it.

You wanna know what else you pay for? For the serial killer in this movie, and in reality, to sit on his ass in prison for 2 ****ING YEARS, turning perfectly good food into anal waste while the bureaucratic CLUSTER**** OF A LEGAL SYSTEM struggles not to cough up a lung and deliver on it's promise to KILL THE WORTHLESS WASTE OF SKIN WITH A PIECE OF ROPE YOU COULD BUY FROM A DEPARTMENT STORE FOR 20 ****~ING DOLLARS!

And people wonder why I don't VOTE.

Oh yeah, the MOVIE. Idunno, Iduncare, just fuggin' leave me alone.

Final Verdict:

[Meh...]

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Omnizoa

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06-04-16

National Treasure

Adventure / English / 2004

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
It's reassessment time and this time we take a look at an old favorite of mine and see if it still deserves it's spot among my personal collection. This is gonna be a tough one since this is to determine whether it stays or leaves and I've been avoiding it for a while so let's find out.

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*

First off, I gotta say I don't know who in their right minds can say they dislike National Treasure. It's a fun popcorn flik that while YES it takes creative liberties and YES at times pushes beyond that boundary between fiction and realism, it's pretty darn good.

It's also the biggest argument I have against Nicolas Cage haters. He's just a charismatic guy. And I thought he was great in Lord of War.

Anyway, National Treasure, A.K.A. That Absurd Movie With The Absurd Premise That Got An Absurd Sequel With An Even More Absurd Premise posits that throughout all of early United States history, various historical relics are actually secret clues towards an ungodly sum of treasure.

Common legal tender and Aquafina water bottles are some of the rarest of legendary relics.

It's dumb, but come on, isn't this an awesome "What If" scenario? I've always had a certain fondness for history and the march of time so this sort of thing fascinates me.

The movie is equal parts action, adventure, and even comedy with a totally unnecessary romance splashed in (go ahead and count that as a strike). It's well-paced, it's well-acted, it's writing is more than serviceable and I really do feel that it's realistic enough to buy, at least as any sort of Indiana Jones veteran.

Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, and Sean Bean are highlights in the movie as the first and second protagonists and main antagonist respectively, but Diane Kruger as the third protagonist disappoints. She's hardly a source of the movie's humor and her historical background seems to exist purely to validate Cage's character and serve as incredibly unsubtle Love Interest to him.

And yes they kiss (count that as a strike too).

The narrative developments are interesting and the character interplay is amusing, but if you haven't already gleaned already the movie overall just lacks a certain... luster. Something to really make it shine and stand out.

The soundtrack is arguably the strongest thing the movie has going for it so if nothing else I totally recommend you give it a listen, but the rest?

Eeeeehhhhhh, I gotta admit it's not all that exceptional. I mean, how did it get into my personal collection to begin with? Again, I'd say the premise and historical elements appeal to me even though I'm BY NO MEANS any sort of fan of United States history, or hell even the United States in general (*massive understatement*), but there is an appeal to the retcon.

Is it strong enough to warrant full marks from me?

As of today I've decided, no. I still enjoy the movie and I certainly recommend it, especially to fans of adventure fliks, but there are definitely one or two lulls in the movie's momentum where I get bored. The comedy is okay, but nothing special, and altogether the emotional stakes are preeetty low since that sense of hollowness kicks in when you realize there's very little in the way of subverting your expectations.

Of course no one's ever gonna to get shot, the guy is gonna get the girl, and the movie's gonna end with the comedy relief saying something humorous. Hardy har har.

By no means a bad movie, but lacking that essential something to make it a great one. One I'd really wanna watch again.

Final Verdict:

[Pretty Good]

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Last edited by Omnizoa; 06-04-16 at 01:03 PM.

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06-04-16

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Action Drama / English / 2009

WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Reassessmerrrgghhggg*werewolf mode*

WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*

"If devils you call us, rest assured, better the devil you know."

Horses.

Here's another movie which gets incredibly negative reviews, which I would argue is even more flawed than National Treasure, but I would also argue is more fun.

When people tell me that Twilight is a good movie, I balk at them, they don't get the hint, I ask them why, and they say "because I like vampire movies", I respond "Underworld 3". I mean hell, you got an interspecies romance with lots of contact lenses and shirtless werewolves, how can you not love this?

Underworld 3's world is precisely what I think of when I think of vampires and werewolves. A grimdark fantasy setting set somewhere in medieval Europe and featuring the thematic hallmarks you come to expect from such a setting. Gothic political covens, beasts of the forest, it's exactly the kind of backdrop you want to a movie like Underworld.

While Underworld went for a lot of gore-for-shock value type stuff along with an incredibly unengaging plot about hybridizing vampires and werewolves (to create the Blue Man Group), Underworld 3 ignores the awful sequel, Underworld 2, in favor of a prequel which presents to us the events which kick off the entire series vampire/werewolf feud.

The secret is it's actually just Romeo and Juliet, except Juliet dies in the sun and Romeo makes Lord Capulet eat a zweihander.

Naturally given that it's a romance, it dares not breath into existence without at requisite kissing scene and even a sex scene, BUT the romantic development isn't an actual problem in the movie by virtue of the development having happened offscreen before the movie started.

Oh. Okay, well that's fine then. ( ^ ^)b

And the sex scene is brief and tasteful? Astounding.

Basically the plot has Lucien, our werewolf slave underdog try and run away with... uh... ummm... SONJA! Sonja. And Sonja's father, Viktor keeps watch over the developing struggle between master and slave.

I think even the regular dialog is pretty interesting and virtually no lines are spared for trivialities which I like. Bill Nighy as Viktor is pretty intimidating, much in the way that Davy Jones was and I really dig that, he's just a great villain and I'd argue he does a better job playing with drama in this movie than in Pirates of the Caribbean.

Michael Sheen also returns as Lucien as a much more likeable primary protagonist.

Hrhrhrhrwhoa~ hello there... my my my, aren't you a sexy animal?

Originally Posted by Lucien

We are NOT ANIMALS!

Except you are. Yeah, that's a definite grievance on my part. Lucien distinguishes himself from feral werewolves because he's a special breed that retains his humanity and does so by saying he's not an animal. *SIGH*

The action's pretty Matrix-y, and the CG somewhat idles between pretty good and gratuitous, but I have to give a fair bit of credit: The werewolves themselves are frequently practical costumes and they look good save what mercifully brief moments of dismemberment and body-horror transformations we get. Any movie that gives me flashbacks to Helm's Deep from Lord of the Rings is doing something right.

All told, I can think of a bunch of problems that would distract your average movie goer like, "Are they making continuity errors with the contact lenses? Since when does sucking blood allow vampires to read memories!? WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP ADJUSTING THE VOLUME HIGHER TO HEAR THE DIALOG!?" and whatnot.

It's even got a couple moments of genuinely cheesy overacting and it can't help but feature the never-not-a-cliche line: "This isn't the end, this is just the beginning." BUT YOU KNOW WHAT??? I think Underworld 3 earns that line, because it retroactively improves my opinion of the first Underworld movie which it flashes forward to at the very end.

This is what I'm looking for in these kinds of movies: Interesting drama, interesting characters, not a lot of blood, not a lot of gore, and THEMATIC AS HELL.

You can lock this in as one that I know has a butt-ton of problems, but just can't help finding myself watching it again and again.

Final Verdict:

[Pretty Good]

REWATCH UPDATE 3/9/24

Damn, it's been 8 years since I reviewed this, but I gotta say, my opinion really hasn't changed much.

This is a movie that doesn't waste any time getting to the central conflict of the story, and development follows rapidly from there. Bill Nighy chewing scenery the whole way is great and it really the movie feels like it's more about him than Lucian and Sonja.

In fact it feels more about Lucian than Sonja too. Of course this is necessary to some degree because only Viktor and Lucian appear later in the chronology, but these are also the only characters of the three that seem to see any sort of development.

Sonja's just kinda there as the pre-established love interest, whereas we get a bit of a montage of Lucian's life and his eventual turn into a rebel leader for the lycan slaves. We also get mixed glimpses into Viktor's sympathetic side, while also his cruel and racist totalitarian side to the point where he genuinely seems unpredictable at times, which of course makes him more enjoyable to watch.

I don't know what I was really saying about the CG in this movie earlier. I think it's serviceable, but it does oscillate in quality the closer the werewolves are to the camera, and likewise it's pretty obvious when they're using practical effects puppets/costumes instead.

Overall, a movie like this really does benefit from a brisk pacing and relatively safe, if unsurprising, storyline because I find little to complain about.

The sorta nitpicking that comes to mind would stuff like "Where do the extra keys come from?" Lucian is a "blacksmith" which explains how he made the first key, and the Vampire Advisor character gives him a second key, which ISN'T, apparently, the one key to the cell he was one, but even ignoring that, the same key prop just seems to appear in various characters' hands at different times to conveniently remove neck locks or open cell doors, and either there's some thought out path that this key travels between characters that isn't clearly emphasized in the movie, or these are just Deux Ex Keys manifesting themselves.

Either way, this definitely isn't one of the strongest movies I own, which is why I'm reviewing it, but I can still see myself revisiting it in the future.

Final Verdict:

[Pretty Good]

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