Fight Club: The Tab

God, man, I have a whole repertoir -- that was just a waiting one.

Once we got Dave to put a cast on his leg [we have some "friends", wink, wink, nudge, nudge whose Dad's a surgeon, so we got the cast] and got him sitting at a bus station, then we had our drama teacher [whose as much as child as we are] come up with a walking stick and start smashing the cast with it, screaming obscenities in Russian. He got Dave onto the ground and started kicking him. Then got onto the bus and ran away.

The funny part was there was a woman, a man, and an old woman and the bus stop when we did it.

They were not impressed.

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www.esotericrabbit.com

LOL. This is all great stuff.

When I was in 6th grade, a friend and I staged a fistfight in the middle of a teacher's boring lecture. We did it to get back at her for giving us a particular quiz that we didn't like. It was pretty fun, at the time.

I'm into this stuff, but not as much into the physical comedy of it. I like being out on a busy streetcorner, talking to a friend, and suddenly shouting something totally random (like "A PITCHFORK IN MY BELLY!").

The other thing that's fun is, when in a crowded elevator and everyone else is completely quiet, say, in a demonic voice, "I must find a new host body."

Or, if you're in a hotel, start dialing internal hotel numbers at random and asking people if they need any fresh towels. If they say "no", tell them that their fresh towels are on the way. Keep saying this until they hang up.

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Everything is destined to reappear as simulation.
Jean Baudrillard
America, 1988

That's like once we were in Adelaide with our stage band and I was standing behind people at the pedestrian crossings and saying to the person next to me:"It's not something I'm proud of course, it's an unnatural obsession...pushing people in front of oncoming traffic I mean."

Dave's the king of being retarded though. He rang up the only person in the phone book who's last name started with X and started saying in this ridiculous Spanish accent: "Do you have my coffee? I saw you take my coffee!!"

Good stuff. My brother was cracking up real bad at the "swearing in Russian" part. Speaking of phonebooks, we once looked through ours and find a guy name "Zackery Zyzzak." We called him and left a message, saying something stupid like "Hi, I'd like to order some Zzzzzzima!" Childish, eh? Well, it WAS like 4-5 years ago.

Basically, if you like the reactions of other people, a bit of an imagination, guts and you've actually planned something, you can pull anything off.

My best friend Kate's friends [she's not originally from here] have video tapes, and video tapes of this cardboard box sitting in the middle of the road [they live in a fairly dead town, so it's not like their constantly stopping traffic]. People get out of the cars walk up, open the box and a guy sticks his head out and says "Excuse me, I'm trying to sleep. Do I just come up and open your front door?" I've never played around with traffic though. I think it's pretty dangerous.

I have heaps of these. I could go on for hours and posts and threads, if you really wanted.

HAH. See, the randomness is at least half the fun.

I could mentioned a few more fun activities, myself. There's a bunch of fun stuff you can do with public restrooms, but I think I might hold off on sharing those, in the name of good taste. Unless TWT wouldn't mind, of course

Keep it reasonably clean, and I'm cool with it. I would recommend that ya'll start a "Stupid Crap" thread in this same forum, though, so as to preserve our fighting thread here.

Ok, I've got my own addition to the tab, for once.

Two days ago we tried to go to The Count of Monte Cristo. We were looking forward to it. We were driving to the theater, and were hopelessly late. Thankfully, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring was playing 15 minutes afterwards. We were SO late, however, that we couldn't make that show either. We were screwed. We made the best of it by running a small errand or two, and decided to try again the next day.

Next day: same sort of deal. Too late...and this time, no LOTR to fall on. We decided to try again the next day (today).

This time we make it. I miss a trailer or two, or something, but that's it. Anyway, early on, a group of stupid teenage boys (yes, boys...it'd do a disrespect to men to call them anything else) start causing trouble. Laughing and talking loudly (or too loudly, at least). My dad gives a loud, fake cough and they shutup for the moment.

Later on, they laugh some more...during parts that were meant to be serious -- not funny. They do it again later...I see my dad turning around...about fed up. They do it again...I turn my head, stare for a half a second, and yell "SHUT UP!" They shut up...make a little noise later, but overall the whole thing is much more quiet. It was very satisfying.

TWT: "Toose, tell me how to punch a guy."
Toose: "It's easy, you draw back your fist... and exert yourself!"

Way to kick a*s T!

Hehe. Never punched a guy in the face. Haven't been in a fight in years. Good in some ways, bad in others. Thank you, Master Toose, for your kind words. The satisfaction was its own reward.

Loud teenage movie goers are the worst kind

They ruined both The Blair Witch Project and The Sixth Sense, thinking it would be humorous to randomly crack up during intense scenes.

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I am Jack's smirking revenge.

Try to avoid it, it hurts. Or, if you have to, go for the cheek area. The orbit of the eye is too bony, as is the lower jaw.

Why am I giving you advice on where to aim, though....if you actually ever do need to throw a punch, you probably won't be taking the time to aim .

That's when hell must be UNLEASHED!!

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

When it comes to punching people I'm always afraid that I'm going to hurt them...

LOL

Seriously though.........I had this problem, too, back when I first started punching people. It's something you get over.

Hmm, small update here: someone from Fox Searchlight (the division that produced Super Troopers, I believe) registered with these forums and proceeded to start three threads in the top three forums here (General/Reviews/Upcoming)...all identical, and all promoting the film Kissing Jessica Stein. They all also mentioned Fox Searchlight's website and told people to visit to see some clip, or something of the sort.

Anyway, Mr. Woods alerted me to this fact, so the two of us got rid of the spiced ham promptly. It would've ended there, but, as it turned out, the chick responsible was using AOL. So, I IM'd her. She said she was just doing what her boss told her (IE: go out and start a "buzz" on the Internet...get word-of-mouth going artificially).

So, I told her that she can either tell her boss that what he's doing is called SPAM, and that he needs to stop, or that she can give me his email and/or phone number and I'll tell him myself. I was hoping she'd give me the number, but she just told me she'd tell him herself. She probably didn't, though. Anyway, it was a bit fun, because she was obviously pretty nervous.

Next time some studio tries to smear crap on this place to fabricate word-of-mouth, and I find out about it, I'm going to go find their number and bitch until I get put in contact with someone who knows what the hell is going on.

I would be! I'm biting my nails just thinking about T-Boss breathing down my neck!!! Oooooooooh....

"Hi. I own a Movie Forums board on the Internet and..."

"How old are you?"

"Old enough."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm hanging up now. Goodbye."


Yeah, Chris. You'll show them gooood.

that just sounds so tough. macho stuff can be so sexy.


chris.....about this spam plant.....do they think they can just blend in and get away with that? isn't it obvious to them that it will be obvious to forum admin. and regulars and backfire? *insert hands on hips smiley here

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on dance seul, on dance seul.....

Oh REALLY? I help schedule a radio show in my spare time, bud. They all think I'm a 25 year old intern or something. One of the publicists even asked me if I had kids. I'm quite comfortable on the phone, Bullet Boy.