Fight Club: The Tab

I don't know Spuds... I think this requires some frontier justice...

spud, maybe your girlfriend shouldn't be hugging this dude if he's constantly hitting on her. this is the type of situation that you might think is no big deal...until you get surprised by a shotgun as you come home one night.....it's too bad that i'm not just joking...it really happens.....too many people out there with screws missing.

sades, i forgot to comment earlier on your waitressing story....that is horrible....just horrible....how can people do things like that? throw your tip into the water glass? what an insult. i cannot fathom even knowing anyone who would do something like that. why in the world would they do that? do you think their sexual preference was a factor? maybe they were just two nasty chicks with facial hair.

Toose, you have some pretty intense stories to tell...i've never had a gun pointed at me..i've never been hit, and i've never hit anyone. the only "bad guys" i've had to face were two french guys who grabbed my duffle bad in a train station in belgium while i was buying a ticket....i hollered and took chase......i actually caught up with them running down the tracks and i found myself screaming obscenities in french "va te faire encueler!" i grabbed my bag back and it spilled out onto the ground.....when i saw that my camera was not amongst the stuff i demanded they give it to....all in french.....very STERN AND DEMANDING FRENCH, I MIGHT ADD. little meek patti comes through....surprised myself. i called them thieves "voleurs" and they stood there with jaws dropped....saying "non, nous sommes des amis..." (no, we're friends) ??? dunno why...but i got my camera and the rest of my stuff and walked back to the station to resume my travels.

and the only hitting i've done has been in a very slapsticky/three stooges way on a fantasy stage inside my head- when i find myself staring at some obnoxious person (usually in line for service at some store or for food at a fast food joint). i will watch in sheer amazement at some peoples lack of grace, maturity or consideration for others and in my mind i walk up behind them and WHAM! SLAP THEM HARD ON BOTH EARS WITH OPEN PALMS. it's comic relief in an irritating situation and no body gets sued.

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on dance seul, on dance seul.....

She didn't want to be a b*tch to him, but the guy wouldn't take a hint. So I was glad when she told him off. I told her that she needed to do it since she was dragging him along in the first place(we got together after he started talking to her). She told me she didn't want to be mean, but I told her that he wasn't going to change his mind unless she did. Personally, I didn't want to waste my time tellin the guy off. Finally he took a hint, if he comes back again, that's when he hears from me.

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

I've lived a somewhat unsheltered life... these are just the beginning...

spud, i know EXACTLY how she feels about trying to not hurt his feelings or be a bitch and hope he just takes the hint...i have had that problem......i've had a couple of men who just stick and stick- even if i barely even say hello....i didn't want to spell it out....but they wouldn't take the hint..they seemed oblivious to the nonverbal behavior, lack of enthusiasm, constant reminders of the platonic status, et. al. finally i mentioned having a crush on someone around this one dude, and he reacted almost violently........totally incensed at my rudenes and told me to never speak to him again. well, one way or another he is no longer a problem.
i'd rather not be so afraid of being a bitch or hurting someone's feelings.....and just say....."Look, you're not my type and you will never be". at least your girlfriend can use YOU as her reason...she can say, "look i have a boyfriend, he likes to be called "spud" and even though he has a baby face, and wears a grass skirt at times, he gets mad that you keep hitting on me and you'd better lay off or i can't be responsible for what he'll do next!"

Very good Patti. Where IS that smilie that claps???

He said something the other day to the chord of, "Well, it's obvious I'm not going to get you so I'll just give up now." Then he said something like, "I'm not giving up without a fight." Whatever he said, I could care less now, he's out of both our lives.

So The-Guy-Who-Wants-Your-Girl...doesn't want her anymore? Or is he just giving up? Is he cuter than you? Just curious.

He's not cuter...not by a long shot...of course that's what my girlfriend has told me. He's a damn hick(cowboy) too..

There's no way I thought he would be...

A cowboy hat though...ooooh, that can be really good, or really bad. Some guys look mighty nice in a cowboy hat...

This guy doesn't wear a cowboy hat. At least I never seen him wearing one. He's not that bright though. Maybe fallin off the horse one too many times.

I'm glad this in fight club. Anyone who disses my lid (cowboy hat in the Texan vernacular) is @ss whoopin prone. I don't work animals anymore but I still have my dusty, crusty lid and I'm never givin' it up. Once a year I take it down, put on my tight jeans and boots and go watch the annual Houston rodeo...

Nuthin' wrong with tight jeans and a crusty lid...nuthin' wrong with that at all.

Hmmmmm....well I'm sick of seein 10-gallons and wranglers.

"crusty" never makes anything sound too appealing.
but tight jeans on practically anybody but Steven Seagal is okay by me. notice how i said "anyBODY" and not "anyone"? i call him "pear butt".

Sadie, I love ya baby

Crusty, miss Patti, was indeed a poor choice. What I should have said was sweat stained from many days of shirtless hard work in the sun...

As an attempt at fashion, yes... I wore mine for purpose. BTW, My usual dress is Levi's or dockers and my ever present pair of Doc Martens (black with the cool yellow stitching).

*swoon* *sigh* *bubble bath* Inside joke.sorry.

The continuing conflictual correspondence of my life:

Several years ago there existed an establishment called the "Sam Houston Coliseum" in downtown Houston. This was the place to go for concerts, sports etc. During the time I was going there it had way seen better days. In fact it was a rusty junkpile (which is why it isn't there anymore).

So one night a friend and I were attending a show there, Jethro Tull if I'm not mistaken, and the opening band was halfway through. We had already drank 2 or 3 stadium beers each (watery, foul tasting yet intoxicating) and wanted to hit the restrooms before JT took the stage. We headed over that way, walked in and it was bad news.

There were no urinals just one of those long trough things on the floor... ladies imagine 20 guys shoulder to shoulder shakin em loose. There was a line about 10 guys deep behind each of those 20 guys who were shaking. Well, we waited patiently until our turn. I stepped up next to my friend (who was already taking care of his business) when this drunk dude on the other side of my friend, takes a cigarette from behind his ear, sticks it in his mouth, turns to my friend (still peeing) and said "Hey man got a light?"... my friend looks at this guy who is currently peeing on his leg, draws back a fist, swings and misses. He clocked the guy behind the drunk. Now the bedlam ensues and everyone starts swinging... some with their units still exposed. I grabbed my friend's jacket and, shoving bodies out of the way, was trying to pull him out the door when this huge, fat biker looking dude pulls out one of those expandable batons the cops clip on their belts and starts making hay with it. I was almost successful in pushing my buddy out the door when I felt that thing on the back of my skull. I went down for god knows how long, I remember snapping to on that nasty floor and I could feel the blood running down my head when the security cops came running in. I missed JT that night, I was getting a few stitches... I saw them on the next tour though.

Oh man...what's wrong with you?! Brutality and Violence follow you around like static cling! Remind me to remain 30 yards behind you at all times!

The way I see it, there's NEVER a good reason to get into a fight with another human being. This goes for ANYTIME, not just the holly-days. I just think people should have advanced far enough in terms of emotional maturity and civilization, by this point, that we don't go around physically hurting each other.

SO. Where does that leave us? If there is no good reason to fight, then we have to fight for no good reason.

So, here's your homework for the week. This week, pick a fight with somebody. Pick a fight with a Lou. Pick a fight with somebody about your size...somebody you could handle. Before you actually start going at it, make sure they know why they're fighting: no reason at all. Make sure they know there'll be no hard feelings afterwards, no lawsuits, no insurance claims, no assault & battery charges...just a handshake and maybe a beer, and happy holiday wishes.

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Everything is destined to reappear as simulation.
Jean Baudrillard
America, 1988

That's what you get for going to a Jethro Tull concert.

And there are good reasons to fight. Some people cannot be reasoned with. Sometimes an @sskicking is all they will understand (especially in cases when flight isn't possible).

Of course, I'm one to talk, I haven't been in a fistfight since 3rd Grade when the kid from across the street (though there were a couple of times when a bully named Jason was trying to get me to fight him in Junior High, but I declined to fight. If anything, my standing there while he punched me twice in the jaw and my seemingly not flinching or caring did wonders for my reputation. In all actuality, I just knew that if I punched back, I'd be fighting Jason and two of his friends who were itching to join in a fight).