Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

Who is in it Meatface

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A bunch of Italians you've probably never heard of Nebbit.

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"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

Pretty close to what I was going to say.

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"Actual camera work" -- there is no such thing as "actual camera work". There are different ways to shoot a film, not everything needs to be on sticks.

I suppose I will have to google it then I will know them

i enjoyed Almost Famous, but i found most of the main characters too obnoxious to like it very much.

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Choke (1 viewing)



Were only two weeks away from the colossally hyped Watchmen , who knows how the mainstream audience will react to it : it might be a hit or it might be a gigantic flop like Choke.

Unlike the supposed Watchmen , this film does not respect it's source. It only picks bits and pieces of the novel and tries to rush them through in this 90 minute facade. Many of the book's sub-plots are introduced and never followed up , the characters are barely fleshed out (not even the main character who the entire film is about). A lot of what it does to choose to put on screen are the jokes , so the end result is a dirty comedy with a shallow story.

From the first frame it's obvious your not watching Fight Club , minimal camera work and absent lighting effects do not make this visually pleasing in the least. Sex scenes often hog much screen time as well , in an attempt to not tell the core story. Come to think of it , there doesn't really seem to be any strong narrative in this movie at all - it's random scenes in compilation.

Even if you are a huge Palahniuk fan (like myself) avoid this movie , it's a no-name actor directing his first film and hopefully his last - whilst wasting a great novel along the way.

Damn. I remember when I reviewed Choke about six months ago or so, I actually gave it a . The more I think about it, the less I reckon it honestly deserves it. I can only hope they don't make that much of a mess out of Survivor.

Also, meat, were you annoyed that they changed the ending/plot twist?

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The ending is complete garbage , why even show the rock building in the first place - Fight Club had an extremely over the top one (compared to the book) and this one is like the complete opposite.

I'm guessing they would only trust Survivor to an acclaimed director with the assumbly huge budget it would take to film. Even though it would never happen , I wish Fincher would do it. (last I heard the I Am Legend director wanted to make it ).

Now I don't know what to think, meatwad hates it, but meatwad hates everything. Iroquois liked it, but is not so sure how much he liked it. I just read this book and was thinking of checking out the movie but maybe I'll give it some time before I watch it.

Dr. Strangelove (2 viewings)



It's no secret that I don't think much about Kubrick as a director , but this film is so tightly paced , manically hilarious , and visually captivating - even I can't deny he has crafted a remarkable film.

In the midst of the Cold War a deranged American general orders a nuclear strike on Russia , through a loophole command that allows him to destroy the entire world. Leaders of both sides fret to stop the annihilation of human life and countless brain dead imbeciles threaten this nuclear war through their hysterical philosophies (one including bodily fluids).

Your pulled into the situation by it's subject matter alone , the end of the world - pretty interesting. Then you stay for the amazing dead pan comedic performances and non-stop dazzling cinematography. There's also a lot of detail put into the few sets in the movie , the airplane probably being the most detailed with so many of it's buttons each with a purpose. I don't like giving movies credit for working with what they had , for good reason because the exterior airplane scenes still look great. The war room is probably my favorite set , outstanding lighting and great usage of "the big board" to illustrate the pure intensity of the situation.

It's thoroughly entertaining and fine tuned in every department , easily the greatest achievement of Stanley Kubrick's career.

I'm glad you liked it Meatwad. It used to be my favourite but as I got a little older 2001 (which I know you hate) took over that spot. I think you gave A Clockwork Orange a good review too, so you must think something of him as a director. Maybe later on in life some of his films might appeal to you more, and maybe not.

Thanks Meatface will give Choke a miss

Meat, I would suggest trying to look for a film called S.F.W. - I watched it a few days ago and to me it felt a lot like a film version of Survivor. Although of course there's a load of differences, at their core they're still virtually the same, although S.F.W. doesn't attack as many issues as Survivor did.

Paths of Glory, meat... Paths of Glory. Please review that film and begin to reconsider Kubrick a little bit... more...

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Jaws (2 views)



It sounds great and looks even better , the only problem I have with Jaws are the characters and it really is a character movie.

The film is divided into two halves , the first is about this giant shark that is attacking casual beach swimmers and the second half is about the men who have to go out and kill it. When the shark starts eating people , the police chief wants to close the beach - introducing our first uber-fake character The Mayor , who refuses to shut it down because it might affect the towns businesses. If your willing to accept that any mayor would risk lives for a couple of dollars , your on way down a long road of compromised reality.

Although a lot of the characters fail to be interesting , the first half is filled with enough enjoyable scenes to get you to the second act - which is when we actually get down to business. Three guys hunting a shark , one who's afraid of the water , an expert , and a shark researcher/enthusiast. Lots of quick decisions are made to catch this giant beast , occasionally they will mess something up which makes for a very realistic and intense follow up to the somewhat safe first half.

I found a lot of the dialogue hit and miss , these actors convinced me on everything except what they were actually saying (they could exist , but they wouldn't say that - was my feeling). Now apart from the script , this is a beautifully scored and shot film. The underwater scenes , the sinking boat , the huge beach panics , and the lifeless shark all look great. John Williams roars up another original score that rotates from terror to adventure.

I appreciate Jaws much more on my second viewing , it still might not be one of my favorites - but it's no doubt a good movie.

Whoa, you went from a D+ to a ; glad you decided to give it another watch. Good review, as well.

Thanks meatface

Do The Right Thing (1 view)



On a hotter than hot summer day , tensions rise and fall around a ethnically , ethically mixed up New York neighborhood. Racism , responsibility , money , art , respect , are all well explored by the many memorable characters introduced.

It also acts a period piece of an earlier time in America , there could be a similar modern version of this but you probably wouldn't have boom-boxes being carried around and bright clothing everywhere you look. Unlike a lot of films about racism , it doesn't try and show you the path to preventing it : instead it shows what happens when it's not resolved and when it escalates.

Aside from it's lessons , Do The Right Thing is a great character movie. There are a bunch of laugh out loud moments as well , even if does end with a serious tone , it wouldn't be a stretch to call it a comedy.

Out of many movies that incite , protest , and parody racism - this deserves a spot on the top : even if you don't think it's realistic , there's still a message to be learned.

It's a great film Meatwad, glad you liked it.