The Monty Python Quote-a-thon

Basically, quote your favorite lines from Monty Python. Simple, eh?

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

Sorry, I had to move this to Games, Tabs & Lists -- have fun everyone. I'll kick it off I guess:

"I well avenge the death of you sweet concord,

I'm not dead

Well, the near fatal wounding of-

I'm getting better"

I see you have a machine that goes "PING!"

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www.esotericrabbit.com

Every Sperm is Sacred
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

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I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

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One of the biggest myths told is that being intelligent is the absence of the ability to do stupid things.

"African swallow or European swallow?"

"I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Blue! No! Yellooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!"

"I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!"

"Only the true Messiah would deny his divinity."

"What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!"

"He is! He is the Messiah!"

"Ten, nine, eight and all that."

FRANCIS: "Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?"

STAN: "I want to have babies."

REG: "What?!?!"

STAN: "It's every man's right to have babies, if he wants them."

REG: "You can't have babies!"

STAN: "Don't you oppress me."

REG: "I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate, you going to keep it in a box?!?"

JUDITH: "Here, I've got an idea: suppose we agree that he can't actually have babies, which is nobody's fault - not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies."

FRANCIS: "Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, Brother...Sister, sorry."

REG: "What's the point?"

FRANCIS: "What?"

REG: "What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?"

FRANCIS: "It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression."

REG: "It's symbolic of his struggle against reality."

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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

"Beanssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"

"There are those who call me...Tim."

"We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni NI...

We are now the Knights who say Icky icky icky icky putang zoop boing"

"I built this kingdom up from nothing, when I started here all it was was swamp. Other kings said it was daft to build a castle in the swamp but I built it all the same just to show em. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one, that sank into the swamp. So I built a third one, that burned down fell over then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one, stayed up, and that's what you're gonna get lad."

"Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth."

"Once, she turned me into a newt.

A newt!?

I got better."

"What do you do with witches?

Burn, Burn, Burn

And what do you burn apart from witches?

More witches!

Wood.

So why do witches burn?

Cause they're made of wood?"

"O, Lord. You're so BIG. So awfully huge. We're all really impressed down here, I can tell you!"

"Can we have your liver then?"

"O knights who up until recently said "Ni""!

"Should we go there?

No...it's just a model"

I think it goes like that.

"Good evening sir and how are we today?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up."