A Day in the Life

I can do it every time... pi**es my son off so bad!

A day in the life of my brother Pigsnie, SUNDAY!

5.45. I checked his alarm, this is the time he usually gets up. He does not wear superman jammies. his medicine cab is very neat, he shaves with shavin cup & foam. There is this blue stuff he splashes on his face but its in a dispenser so I dont know whats its called. IT STINGS!!! :bawl: He takes a shower. he usually wears khakis at home & a white shrt. All his towels are white, mine have Tweety Bird, hahaha!!!

6.00-7. Ok, I know he starts makin breakfast around this time becuz I can smell it from my room. I also hear the dogs runnin around outside. Sunday, we had bacon & hash browns & eggs. Chairman Meow eats his stuff on the kitchen counter, dunno why, he just does. Dogs eat under the table. Pigsnie said to me, youre not goin to wear that to church, are you?
Whats wrong with my hannibal Tee shirt? I said. I changed.

TO BE CONTINYOOD ..

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God save Freddie Mercury!

CONTINUING Pigsnies DAY ..

8.00-9. CHURCH! We always sit in the front pews. Liturgy very boring. The angel of the lord came & sitett in Oprah that belonged to Joeash the Abzirite. and then Gideon complains about how his family is the meanest in town, thats all I remember. Pigsnie puts envelope in the alms basket. I put 2 pounds, sometimes 50p if Im goin to the movies later. Tooly is the altar boy, hahaha, he looks pissed.

9.15-11. SUPERMARKET!!! Pigsnie usually doesnt take me becuz I fill the cart with all sorts of crap but he takes me this time. Lets see, we bought bananas, melons, ground meats, cleanin fluid, bread, jams, butter, orange juice, ketchup, biscuits, eggs, flour, bottled water,veggies. I put frozen pizza, ptoato sticks, tater tots, potato salad, egg nog & 3 gallons of ice cream in cart, then wait to see if Pigsnie takes them out. He didnt, HUZZAH!!!! At the casher, Pigsnie says paper.

11.30-2.00. LUNCH! We dropped off groceries, then go to MacDonalds! I eat 2 BLTs, large fries, smoothy, Coke. Pigsnie eats 6 chicken wings (NOT enuf for ME!) & fries & Coke. He asks me what I did yesterday with Tooly & Patrick, then tells me were going to Foyles next. Foyles is a bookseller on Charing cross road.
At Foyles Pigsnie goes off to talk to Mr Park, the owner & I just wander around the archaeology & bodice ripper sections, hahaha!!! At booksellers, Pigsnie pretty much lets me pick anythin I want so I go nuts. I get

THE GREAT HEDGE OF INDIA - about a hedge in India
The QUEST FOR the true CROSS- why doesnt Indiana Jones look for the true Cross?

ARTHUR the DRAGON KING- new book about Arthur, WORTLE!
FARENHEIT 451- Pigsnie said Ill like it, its by Ray Bradbury.
THE Custom of THE SEA- the cover says it is a shocking true tale of shipreck, murder & the last taboo so I got it!

Oops, no time to look thru bodice rippers becuz Pigsnie just showed up. He put everythin on American Express gold card. Casher says, Will that be all sir? Pigsnie says, Are you buying little boys? I dont think thats so funny.

2.30-5.00. HOME and Pigsnie says I have to wash the cars, waaaaahhhhh. :bawl: And he doesnt help me at all. He just sits on the stoop & reads the papers. THATS THREE CARS and ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE A HEARSE!!!

TO BE CONTINUED, my piggies are sore..

CONCLUSION!!!

5.00-7. Pigsnie went to his bedroom to nap. He must have been tired sittin on the stoop, SNIT! I go to his study & footle around his desk. hes pretty neat, theres a pile of reference books about Asia, like 15 newspapers from Hong Kong, rubber bands, staples, a lot of computer disks labeled chapter 1, 2, blah blah. I guess thats where the book is. 8 messages on voice mail. Letters & magazines. the sex bookshelf is locked, hahaha, had to try. Too bad, I can see the Realm of the senses in side.

I get bored so I go to the kitchen to cook dinner. FROZEN PIZZA & TAter TOTS, Yummmm. Pigsnie comes down at 6, he had a shower already & hes not wearin a shirt. YEAH, Thmilin, his top is naked & he has 3 ****. NOT!! HAHAHA! Pigsnie says he forgot it was frozen pizza & tater tot night. then we eat while watchin BBC world news.

7.30. Pigsnie walks the dogs.I follow him, slinkin from bush to bush. Glassy poops in a flower bed, Pigsnie looks at the turds. I guess he thinks it isnt much becuz he buries it in the flower bed with the scooper instead of picking it up! Tusk tusk tusk.

8.00-12.00. We watch tape of Tomb of the Teracotta Warriors from History channel. And then Flea Zone, documetary about fleas & about how fleas got so small that they couldnt appear in circuses anymore. Pigsnie says they forgot to check Chairman Meow, Loll. Pigsnie gets a beer, then asks to see the ancient coins I got yesterday at Kings Street. He says theyre not bad, 2 of them are silver. then its BBC news again! More mad lambs hve been found! the Chunnel is still there! Pigsnie watches a lot of news. The phone rings at 11.30, it sounds like a very loud woman. Ugghhh, cant understand a thing, Pigsnie speaks french. When I get older Im gonna learn french so I can listen to this stuff.
What if M15 wants to recrut me???

12.30. We all go to bed. BBC ran out of news.

The End.


[Edited by PigsnieLite on 08-22-2001]

What do "glassy poolps" look like? Or is that Glasnost, your dog?

It takes a Great Man to watch fleas for an hour with you, PLite. Especially when you're plotting to take his heroin money.

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Blonde Klingons: Because it was a good day to dye!

The dogs name is Glasyalabolus! Hes even baptized & everythin, hahaha.

Loll, yeah Pigsnie a Real hero for watchin fleas! Well it was either that or crocodile hunter & he HATES Crocodile hunter. Hes always sayin, Irwin been killed yet? Whats taking so long?

I think pigsnie is a drug dealer, always leaving the house late at night. Do you guys live in europe? You said you put 5lbs in the offering. My guess is you 2 guys live alone since I haven't heard anyone else mentioned? 3 cars is a lot for 2 people, what kind are they? Pigsnie's definetly a drug dealer

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I love TWT

HAha, you think so, Wannabe? So my name be HeroinLite, loll.
Yeah, we live in England, you know, where Lady diana came from. And I put 2 pounds in the alms basket, I cant afford 5 lbs!!! Thats too much, Im not a millionaire!!

Yeah, 3 cars is too much, especially when I cant drive any of them, boohoo. :bawl: Pigsnie has a Bentley arnage, a Volvo S70 and a morris Minor, thats the one that looks like a hearse. The Volvo is Pigsnies everyday car, I guess. The arnage is too expensive to use a lot but it has a real cool grill in front. This is his drug dealer car becuz he keeps a leather coat & a hat with a feather in the trunk, hahaha.

OMG, you have a bentley? A bentley is my dream car, WOW, I'd pay $50 to wash that. That settles the drug dealer thought, he definetly is.

Youd pay $50 to wash a car, you gotta be kiddin! Its a real nice car but its Pigsnie who should pay me. The thing weighs like 3 tons & theres so much leather inside they miust have used 10 cows. I have to use special leather polish & it takes an hour. (I did that today, bleech!) and then the mileage must be like 2 miles to the gallon or somethin becuz if he used it to visit the relations in Stafford, hed have to sell me to Sultan Underpants, hahaha.

My favorite part though is the dash! The wood is maple burr & there are so many dials & stuff, it looks like airplane cockpit.

Whoa, Church? I had no idea Pigsnie (and yourself) were religious men. Didn't seem that way...but I guess you can't always tell all that easily. People are sometimes surprised to find out that I am...same for my father.

The Hannibal t-shirt thing is pretty funny. And yeah, Pigsnie's a dealer. But hey, it could be worse: he could be a telemarketer.

Im not a MAN, Im 15 !!!! hahaha!!

I dont think Im religious, Pigsnie has to tie me up in the confessional with duct tape so I wont escape. I am pure, I have never comitted a mortal sin in my life! I have not killed or adulterized or stolen. (well, except for that book in Pigsnies drawer but I will return that as soon as I finish!) I honor my mum & dad & do not make groovy images. I do say MY GOD! a lot so maybe thats wrong. Ok, one sin, I admit it! You religious people always torturing us heathens, hahaha.

Hummm, is Pigsnie religious? I dunno. maybe. We dont say Grace or anythin. Ive never seen him read the Bible excep in church. Maybe he hides it when he reads comics, heehee. He did say he was gonna be a preist once but when he found out he couldnt wear silk underwear under his dress, he quit. LOLL.

Continuing Aug 19, Sunday
Not that my memory's so good; I did a diary day.
11:30 (After grocery post)
Went down to shore to visit friend who was stung by jellyfish. Box jellyfish are impossible to see but they have a cycle. 10 days after the full moon they show up on the leeward side of island. THey are more likely to sting in the morning. Never been stung but have stepped on sea urchins. Bought him plate lunch.

12:30: Down a ways to another pal with pet chameleon with tail problem. Looks dry so we put aloe vera on it. See how that goes. Checked Movieforums from here. And drooled over Martian red gaming PCs in Alienware.com site. Had lunch of shish kebab spam and mahi mahi. Weird combo but his sister is preggers and she has cravings. Weirdest one is grilled goat in oyster sauce.

1:30: Fell asleep watching reruns of OUTER LIMITs. (Some of this stuff is pretty good. The bee girl is intrestin.

TO BE CONTINUED. (Just got a call.)

Gah Alienware is nice. So very nice! My friend got one a few weeks ago. Cost about $3,000, but damn is it nice.

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Horror's Not Dead
Latest Movie Review(s): Too lazy to keep this up to date. New reviews every week.

Alienware. Wha?

Alienware is a company that makes extremely powerful computers. Full customizable, power machines. Mainly for gaming, but they have different kinds. You can get them for movie editing, business, or anything really. My dream Alienware computer costs $10,443. God I wish I had that computer!!! It makes me drool wishing I had it!

Scratch that! I just customized one to around 15,000. Hey Ryan, when you become a millionaire movie maker, promise me you'll buy me that!!!

A day in the life of my Goldfish. HINT hint TWT, Wortle..

7.00. Another day in the life of PigsnieLite!! I get up, scratch meself, go to the WC & do #1, slap my face, then back to the bedroom. Turn on the TV, France is still there so thats ok. Go down to kitchen where Goldfish lives.
We keep her on the kitchen counter so she can watch the telly. I say HELLO FISH! (Thats her name, Fish.) She looks at me like usual. She makes a bubble. I take her fish food out of cabinet & sprinkle some flakes on top of the water.
She starts eating.

12.15. Fish still swimming around.

5.45. I come home from London Dungeon after gettin kicked out for scarin tourists, haha. Fish swimming near top of bowl. Oops time to change water. Get bigger bowl (her summer home, hahaha!), put water inside, then catch FISH with net & dump her in new bowl. Turn on the telly so she can watch cartoons with me.

8.00. Dinnertime for FISH. Dry mealworms. I eat one, its very crunchy.

1.30. Bedtime. Fish sittin in bottom of bowl. Guess shes asleep. Goodnight Fish.

THE END.

How do you know FISH is a SHE?

She doesnt have a willy.