Mortal Kombat/ Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

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In honor of the new movie recently being released. I went back to re-watch the other two and see how they hold up. Here is how it went.

Mortal Kombat

For the longest time, this was the gold standard for video game adaption movies. This says a lot about those types of movies because this really isn't all that great. Some of those suckfests include Super Mario Bros, Doom, Warcraft, Jean Claude Van Dammeís cocaine-fueled Street Fighter, and much more. Luckily they have gotten better over the last few years (Detective Pikachu is one of the highlights). This movie suffers from terrible acting and some ****ty CGI. Yet somehow, it is still enjoyable. I donít know how they ****ing pulled that off, but they did.

The actors tried their best here, but they just didnít have the talent to pull this movie off. Bridgette Wilson couldnít act her way out of a paper bag. She was just kind of boring and never actually seemed like a badass like Sonya Blade should have. She does have a little chemistry with Johnny Cage, so she wasnít totally awful. Robin Shou didnít seem comfortable in the role, mainly when it came to talking anyways. Fighting wise, he knew what he was doing, but talking wise, he was lost here. Cary- Hiroyuki Tagawa (Shang Tsung) is the biggest culprit of overacting. Look no further than the opening scene for examples of him going over the top with his facial expressions. I donít care what anyone says; either Christopher Lambert was garbage here. Whoís ****ing idea was it to have him use that gravely voice. He even looked at the camera weird, just a bunch of odd choices. Admittedly though, I couldnít look away any time he was on the screen.

The one thing that did make you want to look away from the screen was the CGI here. Even by 1996 standards, this **** was laughable. Goro just looks like a bunch of dildos glued together. It was a claymation nightmare the whole time he was on the screen. Plus, the way he is defeated with a swift kick in the nuts is definitely underwhelming. There were plenty of creatures or whatever they were that just looked worst than ole dildo arms did. The green screen was no one friend when they were editing this movie. The appearance of Shao Kahn at the end once looks corny as well, but that is a theme that carries over into the sequel. Before that, though, let's talk about the positives of this movie.

First things first here, the theme song is hands down the best thing about this movie. It's the only techno song I can tolerate hearing, and it will get stuck in your head for days and days. After watching this movie, there was a constant loop of MOORRTTALLLL KOMBATTT!!! (insert techno noises). Arguably the greatest movie theme of all time. One of the positives here is that they nailed the look of Sub-Zero and Scorpion. They kept it simple and just copied the outfits from the game. They didnít overthink it and redesign them or anything. Yes, I would have liked to have seen them fight one another, but you can't always get what you want in life. Speaking of fight scenes, there are some solid ones in here. Scorpion vs Johnny Cage was good. Subzero had a brief moment of being coolÖ. no need to explain that horrendous joke. The best one, though, is the final one between Liu Kang and Shang Tsung was undoubtedly the best one. The moves were crisp, and it more energy and life than the other ones.

Sure there are more negatives here, but that is because I suck at doing anything positive, so **** off. By no means is this an amazing movie, but it's still enjoyable. If only the same could be said for Mortal Kombat: AnnihilationÖ5/10

Mortal Kombat Annihilation

Wow, this lived up to the legacy of it being a suckfest of a movie. If you thought Avatar: The Last Airbenderwas a hunk of ****, then you better buckle up buttercup because this movie made that one look like Goodfellas. There is absolutely nothing even remotely good, and there no redeemable qualities to this movie. It's not even a fun movie to watch. Every second spent watching this is a major life regret, and you will question how low your life has become that you are still watching this turd fest.

Here are all my notes from watching this garbage

-Dear ****ing god, this was some of the worst CGI and green screen I have ever witnessed. Right from the opening fight scene, it was evident that this would be a low-budget affair. I mean, this was next-level atrocious ****. It got worse as it went on

-Shao Kahn looked like they got his costume at a clearance Spirit Halloween store.

-Baraka was a travesty here, His rubber mask was terrible, and he looked like he should have been in the porn parody of this movie instead of the real one.

-Would the porn parody of this be Mortal Kombat: Annihilate this Pussy?

-There was a creature in the desert that should be a crime against humanity.

-that final battle where Liu Kang and Shao Kahn turn into a giant scorpion and dragon (or whatever the **** was going on I had checked out by that point) was painful to watch.

-No doubt this was the worst CGI in the history of film.

-The fact that they turned Shao Kahn into some desperate man child seeking daddy's approval is a sad state of affairs.

-Really, you cast a white dude as Sub-Zero. His name is Bi-Han, and you cast Billy from Brooklyn instead. **** off.

-It's no wonder no one had a career after this movie because the acting in this was atrocious. Low-budget porn actors were more convincing than these twat-waffles. Even James Remar sucked.

- What was with the 90s action movies and unnecessary flips? Mighty Morphin Power Rangers did the same ****. You donít need to do twenty-two back-flips to jump over something.

This whole movie is a catastrophe and should be avoided at all costs. 0/10

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cool movie and original i liked it good characters look like them too

Welcome to the human race...
-Really, you cast a white dude as Sub-Zero. His name is Bi-Han, and you cast Billy from Brooklyn instead. **** off.
I mean, they cast a white guy as Sub-Zero in the first film as well so...yeah. Besides, Bi-Han died in the first film anyway so this would be Kuai Liang.
I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.

Really, you cast a white dude as Sub-Zero. His name is Bi-Han, and you cast Billy from Brooklyn instead. **** off.
1. Annihilation's Sub-Zero isn't Bi-Han, it's his younger brother

2. His appearances in the early games had been a more Western-looking man, which Tobias elaborated on by saying the character had a white mother

3. Keith Cooke, the actor you call "a white dude" and "Billy from Brooklyn", is actually half-Japanese (father) and half-American (mother) ó similar to his appearances in-game and Tobias' elaboration.

Good job erasing a Japanese guy's racial background with a lazy accusation of whitewashing.

Welcome to the human race...
Eh, it's the same OP who decided that, rather than look up characters' names when writing about the 2021 version, would just refer to Mileena as "Joker mouth lady" and Kabal as "knockoff Predator". Why research when you can rant?

Movie Forums Squirrel Jumper
Mortal Kombat (1995) in my opinion is the best video game movie I've seen, and Annihilation is the worst one, so it's funny how they went from best to worst for me in video game adapations.

Good movie, I love this story and movie due to "scorpion" its my Favorite character.