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Or even the word "too".
Two, to, too. Someday those from the Public Schools (and those homeschooled freaks as well) will learn the difference.
Two, to, too. Someday those from the Public Schools (and those homeschooled freaks as well) will learn the difference.
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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra
"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra
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Hmmm, no reply from Lord Holden. 
Why am I not surprised?
Anyhoo, Patti asked me to post this. I've seen it before. It's damn funny.
Why am I not surprised?Anyhoo, Patti asked me to post this. I've seen it before. It's damn funny.
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Holy sh*t, that's great. Reminds me of a road by our house where the middle line, for whatever reason, leaves the center of the road and actually goes off into the ditch. No breaks or nothing. F*cking road construction. 
Here's a lil' sumpin':
There's this middle-aged couple who've hit financial skids since the husband lost his job a couple of months ago. Having gone through all their savings, they decide that, since he's having trouble finding a job, the wife should go out and sell her body so they can get some quick cash.
The first night, she comes home around three in the morning. The husband's been waiting up, and he asks her how much she made.
"$124.75," she says.
"Seventy-five cents?" The husband is amazed. "What a*shole gave you seventy-five cents?"
She breathes out a tired sigh and says, "All of 'em."
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You were a demon and a lawyer? Wow. Insert joke here."
You were a demon and a lawyer? Wow. Insert joke here."
I can't believe you...I was gonna post a nearly identical joke I heard the other day...only in this one, it was 10 cents.
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ok this joke is not to offend so please don't get mad. laughter is suppose to be fun.
Ok...Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team????
Because any of them that can run, jump, or swim are already here...
Ok...Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team????
Because any of them that can run, jump, or swim are already here...
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"Aim high, it costs no more to shoot at eagles then it does to shoot at skunks"
"Aim high, it costs no more to shoot at eagles then it does to shoot at skunks"
Godd*mmit--stop picking on the Mexicans! Haven't they gone through enough already, just living in Mexico?
All right. In light of the big religion debate, here's the first in a series of religious group jokes:
Q. How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. ...Change?
All right. In light of the big religion debate, here's the first in a series of religious group jokes:
Q. How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. ...Change?
that is good that they don't change because if they did they would just fall into the hypocracy catagory.
Anyways to go along with the jokes on church. Not to show i am not a total crap head.
Did you guys hear about the guy who got caught streeking in church????
He got caught by the organ....
Anyways to go along with the jokes on church. Not to show i am not a total crap head.
Did you guys hear about the guy who got caught streeking in church????
He got caught by the organ....
Ouch.Here's one of my favorites:
A little boy goes up to his mother. "Mom?," he says. "Is God black, or white?"
The mother isn't sure how to respond. She thinks for a moment, and then replies, "Honey, God is both black AND white."
The child still looks confused. He then asks his mother "Is God a man or a woman?"
The mother looks distressed once again, and answers in the same fashion: "God is both a man and a woman, sweetie."
The child still looks unsatisfied. He asks a third question: "Mommy, is God straight or gay?"
The mother doesn't miss a beat this time, replying immedietly "God is both straight and gay, darling."
A look of sudden realization comes over the child's face: "Mommy...is Michael Jackson God?!"
The mother isn't sure how to respond. She thinks for a moment, and then replies, "Honey, God is both black AND white."
The child still looks confused. He then asks his mother "Is God a man or a woman?"
The mother looks distressed once again, and answers in the same fashion: "God is both a man and a woman, sweetie."
The child still looks unsatisfied. He asks a third question: "Mommy, is God straight or gay?"
The mother doesn't miss a beat this time, replying immedietly "God is both straight and gay, darling."
A look of sudden realization comes over the child's face: "Mommy...is Michael Jackson God?!"
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that is good that they don't change because if they did they would just fall into the hypocracy catagory.
Nice Michael Jackson joke, Yoda--remember the one about what Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have boys' pants half-off. God, that's horrible!
Q. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.
Horrible horrible horrible...
What are the similarities between women and KFC? Once you're finished with the breasts and legs all you have left is a greasy bucket to put your bone in
...It made me laugh
What are the similarities between women and KFC? Once you're finished with the breasts and legs all you have left is a greasy bucket to put your bone in
...It made me laugh
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Another high quality post by Fez Wizardo
Another high quality post by Fez Wizardo
Why did god invent thrush?
To show women what it's like to live with an irritating c***
(oooh ooh was that any better Master Yoda?)
To show women what it's like to live with an irritating c***
(oooh ooh was that any better Master Yoda?)
I'll never eat KFC again.
I love the Helen Keller's dog joke, although mine goes a little differently.
Here's a little ditty:
A little Indian boy asks his father, "Father, how did you give names to me and my brother and sister?"
The father says, "Well, when your sister was born, I looked outside the teepee and saw a deer running through the woods in the distance. So I named her 'Running Deer.' And when your brother was born, I looked outside the teepee and saw an eagle flying in the sky. So I named him 'Eagle Flying Through Clouds.'
Why do you ask these questions, Two Dogs F*cking?"
An oldie, but a goodie.
I love the Helen Keller's dog joke, although mine goes a little differently.
Here's a little ditty:
A little Indian boy asks his father, "Father, how did you give names to me and my brother and sister?"
The father says, "Well, when your sister was born, I looked outside the teepee and saw a deer running through the woods in the distance. So I named her 'Running Deer.' And when your brother was born, I looked outside the teepee and saw an eagle flying in the sky. So I named him 'Eagle Flying Through Clouds.'
Why do you ask these questions, Two Dogs F*cking?"
An oldie, but a goodie.