The Usual Suspects

..........soooooooooo........no mules or frozen fishsticks involved?

Silver.....you wanna mail me the $10 or what?



good story Holden- and a good guy with which to get tossed into the slammer- fishsticks or no fishsticks.

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on dance seul, on dance seul.....

I got into a pretty big fight at school once. I was 10. Other than that I've been homeshcooled...so no, I haven't been kicked out of the family (yet), if that's what you mean.

Aaah, Homeschooling. That explains a lot, actually.

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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Back in third grade I took something that I was told not to let anyone else get ahold of(I don't remember what it was) and this one kid tried taking it away from me, I hit him smack dab on his nose. The kid started bleeding really bad and I got a detention, I think...

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

we're confessing arrests and conviction's eh?...............uhmmmmmmm, ah, ahem, umm
i've gotta go .........get some dinner ready - yeah, that's it!.....uhmmm, ........catch ya' all later.

Well, dunno 'bout everyone else, but unless you brutally murdered someone, I'm not going to hold anything against you.

Quit holdin' out, Holden.

hmmmmm - a likely story. wanna try that one again spud?

Well...i don't remember what it was...That's been a long time ago...I only remember that I hit the kid...I didn't like him

never fear chris....i'm as pure as the driven snow.........well, perhaps after it's hit the road- but pretty pure.

spud, just joshin' with ya ofcourse.

Detentions, deshmentions. Who cares about those? I've had more of those than I can count. My German teacher in H.S. alone gave me about fifty. He used to give me detentions for things like "chronic littering" and "constantly leaning back in chair". Man, did that guy ever hate me! It's OK, the feeling was mutual. I took that class for four straight years, mainly just to piss him off daily. Got straight Ds and could hardly speak a lick auf Detsch, even back then.

It was worth it.

I had fun in High School because I didn't ever give a *****, and I loved amusing myself and my friends. Most teachers absolutely despised me, but that was cool by me. I maintained a B- average (just barely), so what difference did it all make? None, I tells ya'. Take it from me, kids: act up and enjoy those H.S. years.

It's also the last time in your life you can fondle sixteen-year-old girls without penalty of jail, so live it up.

I'll tell ya' what: staying out of trouble has it's ups and downs. It's not too rare for me to run into someone who regards me as naive and gullible because I haven't done drugs, had sex, or gotten totally lit, etc (you know what I mean). To some people, that implies immaturity, or at least, a very sheltered childhood (throw in Christianity and homeschooling, and I'm hard-pressed to meet someone who DOESN'T think that way)...so being, by most standards, "pure," is not as enjoyable as some might think. It's a pain in the ***, thanks to the way some people think. I'll respect anyone who puts up with it, though.

Ah well. Joke's on them...most of them can't tell these things about me by talking to me.

Joshin': friend of mine says that. I love that word.

Wanna hear a really tame story? I once went to a gym while on a short vacation in NY with my dad...I was basically 15 at the time, and I didn't look much older. I had to be 18 to get in. My dad said I was, the guy asked him twice, looked at me, and kept an eye on me most of the time I was in there. He seemed almost obsessed. Nothing ever came of it, but he knew it was a lie, anyway. Kind of cracks me up thinking about it now, for some reason.

I think you should turn yourself in, right now. How can you live with yourself? You're like Lex Luthor.

At least your G-d has probably forgiven you and your Pop by now.

He was a zitfarm disguised as a gym manager anyway. Some college kid or something. Hey, I said it was a tame story.

Holy crap, I can't believe I forgot: when I was like 8 years old, some other kid in the neighborhood (big troublemaker...he was seriously messed up, I think) convinced me that we could create some little clubhouse-type thing by using a crowbar to rip up some old wooden stairs that lead down towards the basement door where I used to live. Only problem was we rented part of the house...so it wasn't even ours. I, being 8, am stupid enough to listen to this kid, and so I rip them up...or at least, try to...and get far enough to make a visible difference.

Not long after that, someone notices it, and the cops come by...apprently someone thought it was the signs of someone trying to break in. I got what was coming to me for that. And hell, I deserved it. I ended up paying for the steps as best I could, with the money I had then. I was pretty scared when I saw the cops exaning the scene and everything. Though I would've been more scared at 11 -- at 8, the seriousness of things doesn't really dawn on you.

I know.

I've been pulled over six times. I've never gotten a ticket.

I stole a chocaolate Santa Claus from a supermarket when I was four. So sue me.

Never been suspended. Although I very well could have been. Many a time. We got a hot glue gun and plastered our Italian Teacher's seat with it, she was wearing leather, and she sat down and didn't move the entire lesson.

Funniest afternoon of my life.

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www.esotericrabbit.com

Silver. You compaired me to Julia. You know of a bigger crime than that? You'll be punished.

Sades will have her vengence.

good advice for all the young MoFo's!
..... i was the opposite....very respectful of authority, and a really good student.
your post is hilarious Holden, and you are BRILLIANT, but you end up fighting your gradepoint average when it comes to further education, don't you?
lots of brilliant kids goof off in highschool because they aren't challenged. plus i think it's different for boys than girls.....perhaps the girls are too busy either running away from or being fondled by the boys.

i LOVE your german class/teacher story.........izzz gut, yah!!!