it has nothing to to with movies, but sure with relationship

Hello.

I've posted this to another forum but thought that i should hear your opinions, too.

Here's the story:

There is a girl in my school, that i like, and propably she does like me too, because when we see each other in school, we always have an eye contact and she smiles to me.

Then on Thursday, i thought that i should ask her out. I knew her phone numberm but i showed up on her door.
When she saw me, she was really happy, i could see it from her face. Then we had a walk and talked about various things, not for a long time, but we enjoyed it.

Then i told her that i'll call her on Friday, but i didn't specifie the time.

Fast forward to Friday:
I called about 6 PM (silly me, i should have called a lot earlier). She didn't aswer to it. An hour passes and i call her again.. no aswer. I knew that she wasn't sleeping at 1am (she is usually at some party at friday night, that's why). Then i gave her last call.

And guess who answers?
Her boyfriend.
I was like wtf..
I told him that if i could talk to 'her'. He told me never ever to call back at this number, but i said: 'Whatever.. i'll just call another time' and hung up.

So.. this is saturday morning right now here, about 11 am.

Should i give her a call? I mean.. if i could talk to her..
What should i say? Should i ask something? Then what? I've got no idea that what should i do..

--

There is one thing i don't understand: if she had a boyfriend (which i wasn't sure in) then why she smiled to me and agreed that i'll call her next day?
I don't get it.. WHY??


(me at the moment --> )

__________________
open your eyes.. can't you see?

Because she likes your company, and, get this, WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Man, oh, Man.
You've read the signs wrong. I may not be a girl, but I think the resident females will back me up.

Don't go trying anything.
I know it's crap to supress stuff, but I simply wouldn't even tell her. Take it from me. I told a girl with a boyfriend I had a thing for her. It went bad. Very, very bad. Even if the girl doesn't like you, there's a chance that she'll take you along for a ride and see how much she can get out of you. It's turmoil and it hurts, but keeping it in until they break up or something is going to be a LOT easier than if you tell her now and then the crap starts. Look but DO NOT TOUCH. YOU WILL GET SCORCHED.

Trust me. These things go bad...


****


Meanwhile, you were ready to ask this girl out, right?
You obviously didn't know her that bloody well if you didn't know she had a boyfriend, did you?

Just a thought.

__________________
www.esotericrabbit.com

i didn't know anything about her.. at all

*dead silence*
*crickets chirping*

Get to know her...
Isn't that a given?

Resident Female:

Whooo...can we women be this misleading?

One of two things:

1) You misread her.

2) She's just one of those girls who enjoys attention and affection and if she can get it from someone, will lead them on. This has happened to me...and I'm convinced it's not all that rare.

Whoa! Wait a sec. All the girl did was:

a. make eye contact.

b. open the front door

c. engage in conversation

how is that what you described about attention, Chris?

Sometimes it doesn't sound like there's something there, but there is. It isn't always obvious through actions alone. "Engage in conversation," for example, can mean a lot more than simple chit-chat. He said it was a long time, for example...and he said she looked very happy. I'll trust his judgement there and say that she was probably leading him on a little.

Then again, maybe not. But I think it's worth considering.

See?
Seems like anything we do is going to have a risk factor of leading some Joe, on. She didn't do anything out of the norm, as far as I can see.
So she had a boyfriend...
What was she to do? Make that the very first thing she told him? Maybe he wasn't interested in her, then that would be embarrassing for her to say,"Look, I have a boyfriend."
Then he says," Yeah, and....??"

I understand...but like I said, I'll revert to burton's judgement here. Apparently that conversation was enough to convince him that there was something there. Either he misread her, or she was leading him on. I dunno which it is.

Here's what I see: Disrespectin' the boyfriend! Not good. That's gonna get her in trouble. Burton doesn't meen anything to her...they just had a chat. Now he's gonna call her and get her in a fight with her man? Bad news.

the most disruptive element: she didn't aswer to her phone, her boyfriend did.
Liek we have had a really long relationship and now i blew it up and she is really angry with me. yeah.. riight. it's not the way it is..

It was like.. 1-st time i JUST call her and.. why??


this is the point where i don't understand women anymore. One day she is EXTREMELY nice and outgouing with me.. we have a good time and then next thing liek BOOM.
if she doesn't want to deal with me for whatever reason, then why she doesn't say so? Her boyfriend told me never ever to call her back.. and i'm gonna listen to this monkey? yeah.. riight :P
the point is why she didn't just say nicely not to call her?


im gonna propably see her in school on Monday.
What should i do or say?

------

i know that i used 'why' for very many times but.. hope you know, because i don't

In all this talking you never asked if there was someone she was interested in?

That is like the first step you must take. Act like your not single, but are just making conversation. Nobody likes someone that can't take a hint though so if she won't tell you anything then don't push it, that's a good way to really f*ck things up.

So, if she really is taken (could've been a guy that couldn't take a hint), then at least stay friends with her. If she's still single, GET TO KNOW HER, ask her out on a date. I mean a date is a really good way to get to know her, you don't even have to do anything fancy, just go out and get a bite to eat and walk around and talk.

From now on, GET TO KNOW THE PERSON before pursuing a relationship. Take it from the ones that learned the hard way

__________________
"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

As a female, when I talk to someone or make eye contact with them or even look happy (I always look happy), that does not mean that I'm hoping they'll ask me out. It means that I'm noticing that they're looking at me, I'm having a conversation, and that I like to converse.

Perhaps she's backing off because she realizes that you misinterpreted the signals and wants to send you a new signal saying that she's not interested in anything more than a friendship?

I know that this was already said, but I thought that maybe the input from another female would be a good thing.

Okay...you're just not listening. You just met the chick, you had, count with me now, one conversation with her. It would not be wise to go bothering her on the phone, okay? Just because she was "nice" to you, doesn't mean you have the right to cause problems in her relationship with her guy.
If he said not to call her, and she didn't correct him by saying you could call her, then drop it. That's my advise.
Don't call her. She'll call you.(if she's interested.)

Things become so much easier if you don't want anything.

__________________
Everything is destined to reappear as simulation.
Jean Baudrillard
America, 1988

Sad way to live.

sullivan, HA! i know what you mean, and sadie, ofcourse i know what you mean too.

i go through periods of craving companionship (and all the goodies that can go with it), and periods of an almost asexuality wherein i'm content to be solo.
the latter is nice cuz i don't want or need.
the former is rough, but it can be exciting ---enter the ups and downs of crushes and flirting ......hormones kick in and my eyes get bigger.


burton......i'll tell you about a guy i noticed at my health club (i work there too), he's all smiles.....so i noticed him more. ......always happy to see me and smiling away. i misread the signs. i asked him out. he kept on smiling and took my number and said he'd call. he didn't yet each time i saw him, we chatted and he was always so happy looking. i kept saying little things like, "call me sometime"......i got bolder and all he did was smile.
finally a friend of mine and his told me that "no reaction is NO". that the smile is just a smile. that' he is not interested...he's solo, but just wants to be solo. i assume that if a woman that fit his ideal came along, he would date.
but how do i know?
so he just doesn't want to say "i'm not interested". he wants to be friendly....but not really great friends. i feel stupid.
but it made me realize i do the same thing!!! i don't want to reject people.....i will smile and be friendly and simply not agree to go out......i have that problem with someone right now. i do not feel comfortable saying "you are not my type." i am not leading him on.....i just don't want to spell it out. he should read the behavior and settle for friendship. and yet, i didn't realize that's what the smiling dude was doing with me! i just kept on pursuing.

it doesn't stop as you get older. good luck.

__________________
on dance seul, on dance seul.....

The bottom line is:

You have to know people.
Just going out with someone you've just met usually turns out bad.

You can't touch taken girls.
Going out with someone who is taken always ends bad.

ouch.. the thruth is tough to hear, but it seems to be so..

i'ma just gonna have to move on
( *forcing a smile * )