Kubrick

I got another one I can do. But you have to tell me, did Kubrick write Full Metal Jacket? was it based on any book and did he have a Co-Writer?

*sigh*

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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

i've been watching you get all excited on this thread, holden, and i was afraid this would happen...nobody knows as much as you do holden......no sarcasm intended......writerdirect has his talent intact, but needs more experiences and a biggerwiderdeeper knowledge base......send the dude some R tapes for god's sake.

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on dance seul, on dance seul.....

Tell me about it! I really want to see some Stanley Kubrick movies but life won't let me at the moment. Forgive me. Who are you anyway mister Holden Pike?

that's right

I'm going to write the next one with little knowledge but lots of skill at writing what i can.

INT. FMJ PRODUCERS HOUSE.

The producer is sitting around his desk in his office with a Crew member.

PRODUCER
...That is what I want for that scene.

CREW
Wow, so stan want him to blow out his head and it be like blood and brians galour! I can get that stuff you need, no problems.

PRODUCER
Good. Now...Where the hell is Stan anyway?

CREW
I saw him run out.

PRODUCER
You should have told me, I hope he doesn't wander t the neighbors yard, think of the horror.

Just then Stanley walks in with something behind his back.

STANLEY
Hello guy's

PRODUCER
Damn, you scared me, where were you?

STANLEY
Getting some things I want to try out.

He takes out a golf ball and a piece of garden hose from behind him.

STANLEY
Watch this.

PRODUCER
Stanley, NO!

Stanley proceeds to suck the golfball through the garden hose. He tries so hard he blacks out and bangs his head on the table.

PRODUCER
Stanley, god. I told you it is not possible. Even if you do...you know!



That's another one for you.

Why should a lack of knowledge stop you at this point?

Kubrick is credited as co-writer on the screenplay for Full Metal Jacket, based on the novel The Short-Timers by Gustav Hasford.

So glad you decided to make with the "funny", and it is just as knee-slapping brilliant as the others. Carrot Top better watch his @ss with Writerdirect hot on the humor trail!




Patti - of course I don't expect everybody to have the same level of movie knowledge, but I would think if you knew next to nothing on a subject, film-related or otherwise, maybe that'd stop you from blathering on about it.

Apparently I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Mayhaps I should start signaling sarcasm with a different colored font?

Then again, clearly it isn't necessary.

Who is this carrot top?

Carrot Top has been called "the funniest man alive". Of course it was probably the Top who said it, but I sure believe it to be true. He's kind of like a red-headed Pauley Shore, but much, much funnier (if you can imagine such a thing). And he uses props, always the sign of a brilliant and versitile comedic mind!

To sample some of Carrot Top's many talents for yourself, rent a little something called Chairman of the Board (1998). I wouldn't even bother with ever seeing a Stanley Kubrick film, just see this movie ASAP! It must be one of the funniest flicks EVER made, though I confess it's not quite up to the level of your Kubrick riffs. Carrot Top's stuff is a little more polished than yours, sure, but no better overall.

I also forgot to mention that Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson is as good looking as he is funny. It must be quite the burden: matinee idol good looks and more talent than he can wave a wacky prop at.

He's the greatest comedian/actor/all-around entertainer since....since....I gotta go back to Sorrell Booke, best know as Boss Hogg on TV's "The Dukes of Hazzard".

He would be a better looking bloke if he was dropped 100 meters into a shallow pool of paranas and tied to a plane nose and crashed into a 20m pole! All the while a ferret is knawing at his @ss!

Golly, that's harsh (but funny, as always). We'll just have to agree to disagree on this score, Writerdirect. I think Mr. Top is handsome as handsome can be.

At least go along with me on this one important point: he is as funny as he is attractive. And believe me again when I say I think your natural comedic talent is at least as good as Carrot Top's.

Kubrick! I'm in.

Just to get the ball rolling because I don't know what you're talking about, top 5 Kubrick flicks in no order:

2001
Dr. Strangelove
Barry Lyndon
Paths of Glory
Eyes Wide Shut

I would usually have put Clockwork Orange on there but I'm not in the mood today.

holden, no, i wouldn't knowingly go on about something about which i had no knowledge....i might have to back out of something upon realizing i was in over my head, but to blaze ahead blindly? hunh unh. but writerdirect has a brazenness (sp?) that could prove usefull in "the business", don't you think?
and holden, i hope you didn't think i was somehow insulting you because of your pretty brains.....NEVER!! i was just jumping into the thread because it seems so ......."surreal". it is a bizarre stream, and i wanted to take a dip. carry on

This is something to do with A.I.

INT. PRODUCERS OFFICE.

A producer is asleep on his desk when there is a knock at the door. He wake suddenly.

PRODUCER
Come, come in.

Stanley Kubrick proceeds in the door.

STANLEY
Hey, (producer) what's up?

PRODUCER
Nothing, just a late night. Drinking and smoking. What do you want.

STANLEY
I have an idea.

PRODUCER
What is it?

STANLEY
Well, its based in the future when there is lots of water because of the icecaps that melted and they need androids to run life.

PRODUCER
Go on.

STANLEY
And some scientists make this Boy android who is very realistic.

PRODUCER
How far in the future.

STANLEY
I don't know but that have these pleasure robots and that boy, they teach it to love!

The producer stares at Stanley.

PRODUCER
Is this one of your scemes again?

STANLEY
No I am serious, they have this city made of nude ladies!

PRODUCER
Go home Stanley, go home. You give me a headache.



There we are!

Boy, the hits just keep on comin'!

Oh dear God...will I ever recover from this one?! Holden, this is your best work to date. Sheesh man, make me pee my pants.

What I find really funny [and EXTREMLEY sad] is persistance in the cold face of sarcasm.

Don't you Holden?

__________________
www.esotericrabbit.com

There's being persistent and being oblivious...and never the twain shall meet.

Holden, make some gesture of noticing my reveling. I compliment you on your humor and you step around it?! You drive me mad boy, positively mad ; and aren't you proud of my use of the bold print?