Who is the funniest comedian ever?

after Pollack was talked about quite a bit I DL a couple little parts of his stand-up and there hilarious his Captain Kirk is simple amazing. I wish I could get some more.

I think the funnyest comedian is, YOUR MOM

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Lets go, I think I hear one of those silent alarms - Big Trouble

Steven Wright - you really have to hear the guy saying his material for it to work

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[size=0.4]Be creative, invent a perversion. [/size]

One of my favorite signatures:

"I almost had a pyschic girlfriend, but she left me before we met." -- Steven Wright

so true.

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on dance seul, on dance seul.....

Andy Kaufman is the funniest man alive. (I still think he faked his own death. That is the funniest joke ever.)
I also like Denis Leary. He is relentlessly funny AND from the greatest city on earth, Boston, Massachusetts!

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"You, me, everyone...we are all made of star stuff." - Neil Degrasse Tyson

https://shawnsmovienight.blogspot.com/

ahah I love this Steven Wright joke ~

"They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...
(Picks up his glass of water from the stool...) I like to live on the edge..."

MWAAAHAAAAHAAAA MWAA HAAA. that is beautiful.

That's a doozie! So, my kind of humor.

ARG! Can't believe I forgot Steven Wright and Denis Leary.

Let's play a little game... Match the comedians listed above with their respective lines...

"The filter's the best part. That's where they put the heroin."

"I was walking down the street wearing my glasses the other day, and my prescription ran out."

Hard, eh? REALLY hard, eh?

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You were a demon and a lawyer? Wow. Insert joke here."

Leary, then Wright. Wright's stuff is really, really easy to identify, usually.

"If I melt dry ice can I swim without getting wet?"

now i gotta' go rent a stand-up video.......in fact, i'm gonna' go right now.

what do you guys think of Paula Poundstone? or Janeane Garofalo?
remember Judy Tenuda (sp)? there aren't so many women comedians......

i could NEVER do standup......and am in awe of anyone who has the balls to do it.

Wright is pretty good. Harland Williams (the guy bumming a ride in There's Something About Mary, Half-Baked, Rocketman) is also hilarious.

I remember his special on Comedy Central...

"...We know where chili powder comes from, we know where baking powder comes from, the Government doesn't want us to know where baby powder comes from..."

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"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

Isn't the answer to this question obvious? It's Lenny Bruce!

Carrot Top places second - has anyone seen Chairman of the Board???? Now THAT'S comedy!

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**** the Lakers!

I like Paula Poundstone a lot, and I hope now that those leagal troubles have been cleared up she can get back to heavy touring. Never got to see her live, I always seem to hear about her being in town like the night of the performance, when its too late to get tickets.

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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

Heard some more Harland Williams today. Couldn't resist a quote:

"Crazy, mixed up world, man. Lotta guns now, too, man. Be careful out there. If you don't have a gun, please, for God's sakes, please go out and get one, huh? Because you never know when you're gonna be downtown some night by yourself. It's cold, it's dark, and all of a sudden...you're gonna need some money."

i followed through on the impulse and walked to the video store to rent a steven wright stand-up video...but they didn't have one....bummer. 'spose he's just in a compilation tape??

Another nanny-nanny boo-boo, because I have "Steven Wright, Live" on LaserDisc too. It's his first hour-long HBO special, with all of his most classic material....

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."

"Why is it 'a penny for your thoughts' but you have to 'put your two cents in'? Somebody's makin' a penny."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"I used to work at the factory where they made hydrants, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place."

"Are there any questions?"

"I was arrested today for scalping low numbers at the deli. I sold a number three for twenty-nine bucks."

"I'm feeling kinda hyper."


And on and on and on. I saw him live at Merriweather Post Pavillion way back in '89. Fu*kin' hysterical.

God, y'all are lucky. No comedians ever come to Hicksville. That's what I get for living in the Midwest, hours away from any decent metropolitan areas.

Anyway...

Another stand-up I really love--the Amazing Jonathan. Guy is great, with a fake-as-all-hell magic show. He used to pretend to snort coke onstage...

Also Dane Cook, this guy we saw on Comedy Central. I haven't seen anything of him since, but I laughed so hard I snorted milk out my nose, which was weird 'cause I hadn't had any milk that day.

Ah yes, the Amazing Jonathan. A very weird fellow, but undeniably funny. And I dig Dane Cook...big time.

Ever hear his rants on dancing and Catholic Mass? Painfully funny.