Battleship

Apparently, they spent $200 million based on this game:



Battleship, which comes out in May 2012. If the movie is anything like the board game, i think it's going to get boring after 20 minutes.

Rihanna is in it. Which seems very out of place. But she's hot, so...

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Hey, why doesn't my Battleship board game have aliens in it? WTF?! I got ripped off!

Aliens are so "in" right now...

If we can just take the name of any old thing and turn it into a movie that has nothing to do with said item (Battleship, Super Mario brothers, Salt) I think we've officially come to a very sad place in the history of film. Seriously, this movie's very existence makes me weep. Of course, the upcoming Monopoly and Candyland movies aren't helping either.

This looks terrible.

Dunno if it'll be any good, but when you consider the range of possibilities in adapting this board game into a moderately entertaining film, I'd say inserting aliens is among the better options.

I don't know what to say... does Liam Neeson know something we don't, or is he just starring in everything that comes his way lately?

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"When I was younger, I always wanted to be somebody. Now that I'm older, I realise I should've been more specific."

Holy gawd this looks awful. This will be a rental.

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Looks like they're trying to fill in the void of Transformers.

It's a film by Peter Berg.

0/10.

"Battleship? No, I'll pa..."

"I think more money than most people make in a decade will sway you, Mr. Neeson."

"Battleship, you say? I've always wanted to make a movie about that game!"

These aren't exact quotes, but I'm guessing it's pretty much what happened.

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"You, me, everyone...we are all made of star stuff." - Neil Degrasse Tyson

https://shawnsmovienight.blogspot.com/

In my opinion he's done that for every role

Rihanna has a role in it, that should tell you everything.

So does Brooklyn Decker.

Random frat boy says: "I'd like to put a peg in her E-4."

^ I have no idea who that is.

Oh no, why on earth has Tadanobu Asano taken a role in this, do something brilliant instead!

If no one says, "You sank my battleship!" I'm going to be highly upset.

I wish they would make Hungry Hungry Hippos into a movie. That would be fantastic.









And yes, I'm joking.

I can actually see that...could it have Samuel L Jackson?

"I have HAD IT with these motherF@#&ing Hungry, Hungry Hippos!"

They could be genetically altered hippos whose hunger cannot be sated...except by eating marbles!

That's just brilliant! I would so watch that movie.

I'm sure Morgan Spurlock made a documentary about that years ago.

I swear they just made a trailer to 'attempt' to draw people into this. The actual film itself will have absolutely no relevance to the former whatsoever.
It will star Liam Neeson and Liam Neeson only, sitting across from a poorly outfitted Alien who he challenges to a game of 'Battleship'. There will be a huge lead up to the sinking of battleship number uno before the film will cut to the credit roll and remind us that "LIAM NEESON WILL RETURN IN: BATTLESHIP 2: YOU SUNK ALL MY BATTLESHIPS!"

In short. Screw whoever decided to actually make this crap.

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For your dose of Movie Reviews:
BumbleBee's Reviews

This looks about to be on par with an Angry Birds movie:

Somethingawful.com had something to say about this. Enjoy!

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Imagine an eye unruled by man-made laws of perspective, an eye unprejudiced by compositional logic, an eye which does not respond to the name of everything but which must know each object encountered in life through an adventure of perception. How many colors are there in a field of grass to the crawling baby unaware of 'Green'?

-Stan Brakhage

What the hell is this, Michael Bay's poop? Good lord, the film industry is indeed at a low point.

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"Puns are the highest form of literature." -Alfred Hitchcock