Guilty Or Not Guilty

Not guilty

Has a real Xmas tree?

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I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.

Not guilty.


Planning to visit relatives for Christmas?

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"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."

Not guilty

Planning to go hog wild on New Year’s Eve?

Not guilty; I let all my hogs go free years ago, But , I go to a New Years Day party.

Do you make New Year's resolutions?

Yes. Not to be a potty mouth is a perennial favorite.

Enjoying winter? First day tomorrow. Ugh.

Ditto Ugh. My least favorite season. I m already counting the days til the snowdrops and crocus bloom.

Do you have a special personal favorite first sign of spring?

Guilty. yes, my shoulders stop hugging the sides of my head from the d@mn cold

Do you spike your eggnog?

lmao.just be careful your ears don't stick to your upper arms, very hard to get your hat on that way.

Guilty- with anything BUT eggnog. Eggnog always tastes like the stuff you wash your mouth out with at the dentist to me.

How s about enjoying a vanilla egg cream instead?

Not guilty. Hot chocolate all the way until April for me.

Sick of Xmas already?

Guilty

Enjoying January 1?

Not guilty

Worked in a slaughterhouse?

Heck no!

Ever tended bar?

Not guilty

Ever rode in a horse drawn wagon?

Not guilty

Ever worked as a flight attendant?

Not guilty

Ever been a model?

not really but once when I was like 15,I was at this clothing store
and this kinda cute Hispanic woman (around 20-35) came up to me
and asked me "hi can I ask you something?" and I thought this lady is gonna
ask me something like "do you know where something is?"
( like the bathroom or the toys section etc)I said "ya.." she said "how old are you?"
I said "14" (I thought it was kinda odd that she asked me that)
before she told me "oh,its because I'm shopping for my nephew..hes turning 13
,I don't know what size he is.."(as she had a few pairs of pants & shirts)
"Youre a little older than him..and about his size,just a little older/bigger
,do you mind If I see if these clothes fit you? so I can estimate if they fit him?"
( I thought sure I guess,I said to myself "Shes probably only gonna hold the clothes
in front of me..but she didn't..she held them in front for awhile to see if they would fit,
but she wasn't sure because I'm assuming she wanted to be sure and not buy clothes
that wouldn't fit her nephew and maybe have a problem returning them and she touched me
like a tuxedo salesman would you know ? she touched my shoulders,stomach,chest,
upper body etc for each shirt that she had (she had about 6) and she touched my lower
back and thighs for the pants (she had about 3) when she was done she smiled
and said "thank you I think I know which clothes will fit him"

only she wasn't a tuxedo salesman

- one of my sisters saw the whole thing as she was with me and found it funny

does that count as "modeling"?

ever eaten grapes from a store like this?

It may count as a case of assault, but sure - if you had to put up with this pushy woman s antics, give yourself a modeling credit.

Hilarious- I admit that I have sampled an occasional blueberry at the fruit stand, but fortunately have never set off an alarm and/or been detained for such an act. Lmao.

Have you ever not finished a post and the g@$)&@&d@&))(n thing gets posted - before you're finished writing -anyways?!?!?

Don’t think so, but can see how it could happen.

Ever done everything to avoid jury duty?

Ok I'm putting this on my résumé As modeling experience

Don't you know what happens to people when they eat stolen
blueberries..