Long Distance Relationships

Dear Lord......I know this one all to well.

I'm a old worrier also Fox. Toose...your right...it doesn't change anything to fret...and I understand you have to get into that mind set...but I just can't turn turn off the things I worry about. It's a nice thought though.


Piddy good luck with everything....especially this summer when your girlfriend visits you. Let us know what happens.



By the way...good luck to you too Fox.

Piddzilla, wish you the best of luck. My advice to you is--you're still young--enjoy life! I hope your relationship works out, but whatever happens, don't get so depressed that you miss out on the opportunities in front of you. Take it easy!

the human mind is a destructive thing if we let it be...sometimes we think because something is "difficult" that it must be "worthwhile"

i'm not trying to deter you Pid, but i've had some personal experiences with interpreting ones thoughts [read into that whatever you will!!!]...how we view any given situation is a matter of choice....and we must learn to control our thoughts and stop letting them control us...love is a fickle thing - biologically it doesn't exist and is a momentary chemical imbalance

my point is, the key word i read in your post was UNHAPPY - you are letting the situation make you unhappy...you have the power to carry your faraway love with you WITHOUT letting it have a negative effect on your life...you must try to take over those unhappy feelings and replace them with good ones

casestudy:: 2 weeks ago i broke up with my boyfriend...i was in my room crying after a long heated telephone call and my Mum came into my room, without saying a word, bringing my cat with her and patted me on the head as she walked out...i felt her support from her simple gesture, took a deep breath and wiped my tears away...i patted my cat and told him everything will be ok (telling myself really)...the next day the sun came up as normal, the minutes ticked by just like they always will, and the world continued to turn (and the war continued to be played out in Iraq!!)

the world and we in it continue no matter what...whether we do it with dread or whether we hold our heads up high and smile in the face of disspear is up to us

no Pid, you are everything...you are as brilliant or as sad as you want to be...you are as high or as low as you place yourself

from the posts i have read from you, you seem to be a highly intelligent young man with good morals and convictions...YOU and only you are responsible for that...cheer up and take a look at the good person in the mirror

my thoughts are with you

__________________
"So you take me for what I am...a psychopathic, schizophrenic, serial-killing, femme fatale?"

Thank you very much for those very nice words, n7of9. I guess maybe you're right. It's just that my whole future - our future - is based on us. I guess what I'm feeling now is grief. Like the mourning of a diseased loved one. If I lose her I lose the inspiration and the spark in my life and I will feel lost and empty until I can find a new spark. I've been through this before some years ago and I know it's not forever. But right now, if it is over - don't know that yet, I'm just trying to keep myself busy to not let my thoughts take over me totally. I think I quite possibly am about to go insane.

Thank you so much for your concern....

__________________
The novelist does not long to see the lion eat grass. He realizes that one and the same God created the wolf and the lamb, then smiled, "seeing that his work was good".

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They had temporarily escaped the factories, the warehouses, the slaughterhouses, the car washes - they'd be back in captivity the next day but now they were out - they were wild with freedom. They weren't thinking about the slavery of poverty. Or the slavery of welfare and food stamps. The rest of us would be all right until the poor learned how to make atom bombs in their basements.

Pid,
a question: you talk about our future and then you talk about things as if they might be over....
I'm just guessing here, and maybe I'm interpreting things differently, but does she actually know what you're feeling right now?

Hey Pid you sound like a nice sensitive guy, just a few things that you are feeling worries me,
1.you are supposed to be happy when you are in love, and stop worrying about loosing comsentrate on enjoying her love.
2.felling you are nothing without a person can be either smoothering or a huge burdon on that person. You have to be some one without a partner and a relationship is a bonus, you were a person before you met this person.
3.Having good self esteem is very attractive, but she was attracted to the old you before you say you owe your life to her.

Live for today, you can't enjoy it if you are worring about tomorrow & what ifs Take care man

I have decided that even though I would like to reply to everybody here and that it feels good talking with you guys about it, I won't post on this topic for a while. It's getting too personal - which, of course, is my own fault.

But I'll let you know what happens. I promise.

And thanks again to everyone. I never expected to get this much feedback, and very valuable feedback too. I appreciate it.

Believe me people, I know this.

In my life I've looked death in the face (a few times) and I've lived to tell about it.

The point being that you have to 'do' instead of worrying about doing. Does that make sense?

Example:
I had surgery almost 2 years ago. I won't go into un-necessary detail but at one point the doc came in before surgery and told me that if he went forward I would most likely bleed out on the table. If he didn't, I wouldn't last another week. All I could think of was my kids living in the street. Worry came from fear and fear is mostly non-productive. As you can see I made it. The first thing I did was to fix a will, and take care of my family financially. I know they would miss me if I kicked off now... but I know they would be ok (end of worry and of fear).

I have about 4000 other examples I can bore you with.

Root out fear, fix the cause.

You too Piddy... You're scared of it all down the drain. Do whatever it takes to put yourself at ease. Not knowing is far worse than knowing and then dealing with it.

Trust me Toose. I'm the one doing all the "doing". I'm doing everything that's in my power right now. If I told you in detail you would understand, but I can't tell you. After all I have to respect that this is two person's personal lives we're talking about. Not just mine.

live for the now

....and this should be telling you....?

You stubborn slut!!!

Listen, my persistance has finally paid off. My girlfriend and I finally talked yesterday and it was ending in a very good way. A lot of things will have to change in our relationship, but she was the first to admit that. I think it will be fine. I know a good catch when i see one. And she is the catch. And that's how she feels about me too!

I'm gonna stop now before I say something that will get me strangled by the society of cynics here.

Thank you for looking out for me, Toose. (No, I will not call you dad!). You're all the greatest. All of you.

So everything was fine and you were just being a crybaby...

Sheez... stop crying wolf, willya?






Secretly, the old man is happy for the young twit

I wasn't crying wolf. I was just crying.

Now when you've seen the real sensitive me, I'll have to kill you. All of you.

Hot damn!

There's a mean spirited republican in you after all!


Poppy's so proud!

Congratulations. I'm glad things are working out for you.

And now....I was dying to ask this before....but you were so down I didn't have the heart....but since you've opened the subject up......

the catch....have you two talked about moving closer together and where that might be? Not that it's any of my business......



Thank you for your post Toose. It helps alot. Your wife is a very lucky woman by the way.

Nobody's perfect all the time.

Thank you, Aniko! About moving together, we talk about it all the time, yes. But we'll see after the summer. She says she wants to live here, in Sweden, but we'll just have to see. I wouldn't mind living in New York but I will never leave Sweden forever.

"Behold, the power of cheese."

Sweden, Yoda. Not Switzerland.

No, no... he was talking about you.