Thief's Monthly Movie Loot - 2023 Edition

Star is yet another BMW short film, where our unnamed driver (Clive Owen) has to drive someone from A to B. This time, the passenger is a spoiled singer played by Madonna (at the time married to the director of the short, Guy Ritchie). So as the singer berates everyone around her, including our driver, he is determined to "show her the sights".

This is another perfect example of how each of these short films are perfect capsules of their respective directors because this is pure Ritchie. From an opening, fourth-wall breaking monologue by the driver to the combination of some fast-paced cuts and slow-motion direction, all the while peppered with Ritchie's style of humor.

That doesn't sound too bad, but seeing this after Ambush and Chosen felt a bit jarring. This is the sixth short film I've seen from the series, and even though they all carry the distinctive style of their directors, this is the only one so far that doesn't seem to really fit in terms of tone, style, and even the behavior of the driver. It sure is fun as Ritchie shows us the sights of who he is, but it's far from a star in my book.

Grade:

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Here's my summary for JUNE 2023:

Yet another month that I wasn't able to do my usual challenge for various personal and logistical reasons. Still, I caught up with a couple of franchises and film series I was looking forward to, so here it is:

Final Destination series: The Final Destination, Final Destination 5
Spider-Man films: The Amazing Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: No Way Home
The Hire BMW shorts: Ambush, Chosen, Star



Nothing really spectacular, but some fun watches in there. That Ambush short was a really good one, but I also won't deny I had a lot of fun with Final Destination 5.

My least favorite was probably The Amazing Spider-Man 2, which was a mess, and that Star short with Madonna.

Vertigo follows retiring detective Johnny "Scottie" Ferguson (James Stewart) as he copes with bouts of vertigo and acrophobia following a tragic accident at work. But when an old college friend asks him to tail his wife Madeleine (Kim Novak), Scottie is forced to come face to face with everything that haunts him if he wants to move forward.

There is much to be said about Scottie's "condition" and the ways that Hitchcock uses to heighten his feelings of "vertigo" and how much he is affected by it. Scottie is haunted from the beginning of the film. What follows is the many ways that he tries to get another chance, a chance to redeem himself and prove he can save someone.

Following Madeleine gives Scottie that chance, or at least that's what he thinks. The plot puts him in an intricate web of deception and lies in which he finds himself in both sides. The truth is that his "vertigo" is nothing more than a manifestation of the guilt and trauma he's suffering for not being able to save a fellow officer; something that he's clearly not been able to get past.

Known as the Master of Suspense, Hitchcock started to make a name for himself in the 1920s and 1930s with some neat, little thrillers. Regardless of their quality, most of them are quite superficial and light in their approach. But after coming to the US in 1940, he started to dive more into the psychology of his characters. Shadow of a Doubt or Strangers on a Train are examples of this.

Vertigo is probably the peak of this trend and it has been my favorite Hitchcock for a while. The film is a disturbing study in obsession and trauma, and the way that the director manages to sweep the rug from under our feet regarding our main character is quite something. Kudos also to Stewart, who rose up to the task of playing a mentally disturbed men in a way that he had never done before.

Allegedly Hitchcock wasn't happy with the Stewart's performance, but I think he was perfect. The way that we see his character slowly devolve in the last act is great, and the implications of his actions are disturbing, to say the least. Seen this film a dozen times, and I think it bothers me more now than it did back then.

Grade:

In 1992, the first Mortal Kombat video game burst into existence blowing the heads out of everyone with its notorious graphic violence; hearts were ripped from chests, spines were pulled from necks, and losers were burned to ashes. You had to have a certain skill to remember and perform these "fatalities", but since I didn't have *it*, I was satisfied with just standing aside and watch others do the brutal deeds.

This penchant for violence and how a lot of people were happy enough with just watching it would make anybody think that the franchise was tailor-made for a film adaptation, which undoubtedly came in 1995. Despite mixed reviews, the film was a box office hit at the moment spawning a sequel that most critics hold as one of the worst films ever made. Some animated efforts aside, the franchise had remained untouched film-wise... until 2021!

Like the game, Mortal Kombat follows a group of characters that find themselves somehow in the midst of a battle between multiple otherwordly realms, all striving for control of each other through the titular tournament ("the word 'combat' isn't even spelled right.") In the middle of it all is Cole Young (Lewis Tan), a washed up MMA fighter and non-game character that has just realized he is the descendant of a legendary fighter and the subject of a prophecy.

But as is usual with these adaptations, it is all just an excuse to introduce the ensemble of characters that will beat the s-hit out of each other. Aside from Cole, we have Sonya and Jax (Jessica McNamee and Mehcad Brooks), two Special Forces agents investigating the existence of the tournament, and Kano (Josh Lawson), an Australian mercenary they've been interrogating about it and who carries a dragon mark in his body that apparently identifies the tournament fighters.

The truth is that I'm struggling to write these brief synopsis to make it sound coherent, because the film is just shock-full of clumsy character introductions, a weak script, and some mediocre performances. There also seems to be a divide between the two main subplots: that of Cole stumbling upon the Mortal Kombat tournament, and the story of his lineage which introduces to us the popular characters of Scorpion and Sub-Zero (Hiroyuki Sanada and Joe Taslim) while bookending the film.

I found most of the moments between these two characters to be effective and well executed. But once the film has to shift to having characters clumsily utter popular "video game lines" like "FATALITY!" all while they try to find some "hidden power" within them, it just feels awkward and forced. Lawson as Kano was a breath of fresh air among the main performances. His scenery-chewing and fun banter gave his moments on screen a jolt of life.

But the truth is that, much like I just stood aside at the arcade to watch these characters beat the s-hit out of each other, most people that tune into this will be looking for the violence and in that aspect, the film delivers. Much like the video game, hearts are ripped from chests, heads are smashed, characters are cut in half, and losers are burned to ashes. So if that's what you're looking for, maybe this is for you.

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When the original Mission: Impossible opened back in 1996, IMF lead agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) found himself alone and disavowed, his whole team strategically eliminated by someone they were supposed to trust. Makes sense that as a result, Hunt would go out of his way to protect his teammates at all costs, even if it is "one life over millions"; and that is precisely the predicament in which he finds himself in this sixth installment of the popular franchise.

Mission: Impossible - Fallout has Hunt and his team trying to locate a trio of plutonium cores that were lost in a botched handoff, all because Ethan chose to protect his friends. Because of this, he's tacked on with CIA agent Augustus Walker (Henry Cavill) to make sure that everything runs smoothly. But since this is "mission impossible", things won't necessarily go their way as they are once again put in the path of captured anarchist Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), who might still have a couple of tricks under his sleeve.

All this and more just serve to put Ethan and his team in all kinds of predicaments. Driving away from assassins and mercenaries through the streets of Paris, hiding from dirty agents in a London safe house, defusing nuclear bombs in Kashmir. But if there's one constant all through is Hunt's determination to protect those that he cares for, maybe as a way to atone for those that he couldn't protect back in 1996.

This is something that has become a staple in the franchise since Mission: Impossible III; the attempts to turn Ethan into a burdened human being as opposed to an "uber-cool" superhero. This is not James Bond, but rather a real person that feels and suffers for those around him, and Cruise does a great job portraying that emotional weight. Even though you see him running and jumping and surviving insurmountable odds, you never stop believing he is a vulnerable human being.

Back for the ride once again are Luther Stickell, Benji Dunn, and Ilsa Faust (Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, and Rebecca Ferguson), but it is Hunt's pairing with Walker that electrifies the screen with friction, tension, doubts, and why not? some light humor. Cavill definitely owns the role as he plays Walker as an uptight, imposing, and ambigous partner, all in one super-package.

This was my second time watching the film, mostly for a guest appearance at a friend's podcast, but I didn't mind it at all. As a matter of fact, I think I enjoyed it and appreciated it more this time around. From the great performances and chemistry of the cast, to the insane action setpieces, it's always a delight to know that even though the world is at risk, Ethan Hunt is out there to make the terrible choices we can't.

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The above is a quote from director Roman Polanski, regarding the goals of cinema. The theater experience should make you feel like you are *inside* the movie, immersed in what's happening; whether it is the sound and rumble of an incoming train, the sights and feelings of an alien world, or the thrill and adrenaline of jumping from a cliff.

Released in 1902, Uncle Josh at the Moving Picture Show plays with that premise as we follow the titular character (Charles Manley) as he attends a "moving picture show". But as soon as the camera starts rolling, Uncle Josh forgets he's sitting in a theater as he experiences the joy of a can-can dance, the dread of an incoming train, and the jealousy towards a kissing couple which drives him to tear up the screen.

At 2 minutes, there isn't much else to it, but it is still a pretty neat slice of meta before the word was ever invented; a testament to the aspirations and goals of cinema. Maybe not to tear the screen, but hopefully to make us forget that we're sitting in a theater.

Grade: N/A

Spectacle and fame are at the core of Jordan Peele's latest film. From the enigmatic cold opening set during the recording of a classic sitcom or our initial introduction to the Haywood's as they are pitching their services as horse handlers for a movie all the way to the very climax of the film where the dream of fame ends up being a blessing or a curse to some of the characters; the one you never wake up from.

Nope follows siblings OJ and Emerald (Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer), the aforementioned horse handlers, as they struggle to make ends meet. That is until some weird occurrences and sightings of an alleged UFO presents an opportunity for them to gain both fame and fortune. But chasing that dream can be the reason for them to never wake up again.

There is something about Peele's work that still amazes me on this, his third film. It's a confidence and assuredness in his direction that makes you feel at ease with his work; at least in terms of the craft because the premise is still as eerie and intriguing as with his previous works. No matter the shot, you get the feeling that Peele knows what he's doing and that there is purpose in everything you see on the screen.

The story does get a bit out of his hands, though, at least for a bit. The pace is a bit patchy towards the second act and it does feel like the execution of some of its sublots isn't as effective as it could've been. Thankfully, aside from a skilled directorial hand, Peele can also count in a helluva talented cast to smooth any slight weakness the story might have. Kaluuya continues to impress with every film, but Palmer is a scene-stealer.

Steven Yeun is also great, although his subplot is one where I feel the integration with the rest could've been better. He's one of those characters that I wish I could've read or seen more of. The cast is rounded out by Brandon Perea and Michael Wincott as the two acquaintances hired by the Haywood's to help them record and document these "UFO" sightings.

And that is the common denominator through all these characters; their chase of the dream. To have a successful business, to make it big in the Hollywood system, to capture something that people have never seen and live to share it. Spectacle and fame. With Nope being his third film, Jordan Peele surely seems to be chasing that dream hard. Not sure if he'll ever "wake up" from it, but right now, he's at the top of the mountain, and all eyes are on him.

Grade:

Brooklyn Bridge chronicles the design, construction, and legacy of the titular bridge. It is the directorial debut of popular documentarian Ken Burns, who takes a traditional but insightful approach to the film about this "marvelous" bridge "built by people".

Opened in 1883, the Brooklyn Bridge was one of the first main bridges to connect Manhattan with the other New York boroughs. However, it's construction was not without its issues, which went from the death of its designer John Roebling, the illness of his son, successor, and chief engineer Washington, but also to the risky logistics of its erection.

Featuring interviews and commentaries from architects, writers, and regular New Yorkers, Brooklyn Bridge is a breezy and interesting journey through the drive of those that not only wanted to build something to connect, but also of those that wanted to be like them and conveyed that through word, poetry, music, comedy, or just simply by crossing it.

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Saludos Amigos is an anthology film released by Disney during World War II. It is comprised of four different shorts all set in different countries of Latin America (Bolivia, Perú, Chile, Argentina, Brazil) and features characters like Donald Duck, Goofy, as well as the introduction of José Carioca, a Brazilian parrot.

The film segments are interspersed with brief live-action segments featuring real-life Disney animators as they travel to Latin America and interact with locals to take inspiration for the film. This gives you a bit of an idea of how the segments unfold, which is more as an American's interpretation of Latin American life, than Latin American life itself.

The truth is that the film was commissioned by the US Department of Defense itself as one of many efforts to strengthen ties with Latin America in order to counteract the potential influence of Nazi Germany in the region. This is not inherently bad, but it does show how there have always been ulterior motives behind artistic expressions.

Regardless of the reasons for its inception, the film has its moments. The Pedro segment, which follows a young antropomorphic plane on a dangerous air mail mission, is charming while the final segment, Aquarela do Brasil, is colorful and full of neat music. Unfortunately, there is little to no cohesion between each segment which makes it all feel like what it is: a crowd of cartoonists turned loose.

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That is the first sentence of a classic children's bedtime prayer. One that is asking for protection from the Lord, and eventually guidance to the soul if Death ends up coming. But even if Death doesn't come, there's still the nightmares to deal with.

Directed by Edwin Porter, Uncle Josh's Nightmare is the first of a "trilogy" of sorts that feature the titular character in different places and situations. This one follows Uncle Josh (Charles Manley) as he tries his best to sleep. That is until a devil-ish presence makes all it can to bother the poor man.

From playing tug-o-war with the bed sheets to disappearing furniture, the short is a showcase of the editing tricks of the early 20th Century. At a little over 2 minutes, it is a breezy and simple watch that sheds some light into the way things were in cinema more than 100 years ago.

Grade: N/A

War has been a constant in the world as far as humanity is concerned. Whether it is full-scale war, guerrilla wars, civil wars, or insurgencies, conflicts have been pretty much ever-present in our society. There is a claim that there have only been 26 days of "peace" since 1945, and 268 in the last 3,400 years. I don't know if that claim is real or not, but I wouldn't really bet against it either.

The question of what we do in the face of war, especially when it's something so common in our lives, is part of what fuels this short from Alejandro González Iñárritu. Powder Keg is yet another short film from The Hire series, produced by BMW. In this one, our unnamed driver (Clive Owen) is tasked with taking a wounded war photographer, Harvey Jacobs (Stellan Skarsgård), across the border and out of hostile territory.

Putting aside the reasonings and logistics of this BMW driver being thrown into this scenario – other than promoting the shiny BMW X5 3.0i, now with leather interiors. Perfect for transporting bleeding people! – I found the short to be quite effective. First, you can feel how close it is to González Iñárritu's sensibilities, but second, Skarsgård is great in the role as he transmits the bitterness and regret of Jacobs about what he sees as his inability to do anything in the face of constant war.

Fifteen wars, but he's about to deliver a "powder keg" in the form of evidence of a massacre that might make a difference in the country and maybe lead to a moment of peace. González Iñárritu uses a very frenetic and fast-paced approach with handheld cameras that might get on some people's nerves, but it does succeed as far as conveying the desperation of the situation.

This being the seventh of these short films I see, I can't help but reiterate my respect for everyone involved in terms of allowing such a marketing-heavy tool to tell stories that feel personal and unique to each filmmaker. It does require some level of leniency as far as the logistics of it, but the script and the cast more than make up for it.

Grade:

Ticker is the seventh short film from the BMW series The Hire, but the eighth I see. In this one, the driver (Clive Owen) is transporting a man (Don Cheadle) carrying a mysterious briefcase. However, they are relentlessly pursued by a helicopter with armed men determined to stop them which, of course, allows our driver to showcase the BMW Z4 3.0i *wink, wink*

Even though this one's from the "second season", it is interesting that I saw it right after Powder Keg, which was the first one from the "first season". The thing is that they both put the driver into more ludicrous high-stakes situations (rescuing people in war-torn countries) as opposed to just driving people around. This one does feel a bit over-produced, but as far as the action goes, Carnahan's direction is pretty slick and effective.

I do think they stretch the mystery of the suitcase for a bit too long and the reveal wasn't as impactful for me as some of the previous shorts in the series. Still, it was well made with a solid performance from Cheadle. It was also interesting to see a couple of blink-and-you'll-miss-them cameos from the likes of Ray Liotta, Robert Patrick, and Dennis Haysbert.

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Released in 2016, The Escape is the final short from the BMW series The Hire, which features Clive Owen as an unnamed driver, assigned with various tasks. The series started in 2001, continuing on in 2002, and then stopping before this final outing. So, much like the driver character, Owen has been doing this "for a long time" and he's indeed "very good at it".

In The Escape, the driver is tasked with transporting Lily (Dakota Fanning) to an unknown client while escorted by a mercenary called Holt (Jon Bernthal). The thing is that Lily is a clone created by Molecular Genetics whose illegal activities have just been exposed. Their "escape" takes place just as the FBI is raiding the facility.

As they're driving, the subsequent interactions with Lily and the mistreatment of her by Holt seem to force the driver to a moral dilemma, where he decides to dump Holt and take Lily to safety. This, of course, gives him the opportunity to drive a BMW G30 really fast for all our potential customers to see.

Like some of the ones I just reviewed, it might feel a bit silly to have this driver involved in such situations that now extend even into cloning... but as long as the action setpieces are competently done, they're accomplishing what they set out to do. The whole chase is well choreographed, Bernthal and Fanning are great, and Blonkamp shows that he knows what he's doing.

Grade:

I had a lot of fun watching this series, so why not give anyone that's interested a full ranking?

1. Ambush (Frankenheimer) -
2. Hostage (Woo) -
3. Powder Keg (González Iñárritu) -
4. The Follow (Wong) -
5. The Escape (Blonkamp) -
6. Chosen (Lee) -
7. Ticker (Carnahan) -
8. Beat the Devil (Scott) -
9. Star (Ritchie) -

Don't lose perspective that these are "glorified car ads", but as far as achieving what they set out to do while also carrying each of the filmmaker's distinctive fingerprint, I think they're pretty much worth a watch.

Forgot to post a couple of updates from the podcast so here goes nothing. My latest Special Episode of The Movie Loot, #18, goes to one of my all-time favorites. In this episode I talk about L.A. Confidential; specifically the final shoot-out, but also some overall themes:

The Movie Loot - Special Episode XVIII (L.A. Confidential)

Remember you can also listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and most podcast platforms.

I also had my fifth "assignment" episode with this new format I'm doing for the podcast.

The Movie Loot: The July Assignment (with Darren from Movie Reviews 101)

In this one, me and Darren Lucas, from Movie Reviews 101, joined the loot as we chose a set of 5 categories to guide us on what to watch during the month.

You can also see the live broadcast we did via YouTube



...or listen to it through any podcasting platform like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or any other.

Here are the criteria we chose for JULY 2023:

A film based on a video game (Nat'l Video Game Day, July 8):
A film with a title that starts with the letters M or N:
A film about aliens or alien abductions (World UFO Day, July 2):
A film from Ken Burns (born July 29):
A film from Argentina (Independence Day, July 9):

That's the assurance that Dean (Corey Feldman) gives to his best friend Les (Corey Haim) as he tries to convince him to steal his grandfather's precious Cadillac to go out on a Saturday night. Les knows it very well, since he had already proudly proclaimed to his expecting parents how he was a "freee maaan!" when they asked if he had gotten his license. The thing is that Les didn't really pass his exam, but that's not gonna stop him from having a good time.

License to Drive is mostly divided in two halves: the first one follows Les' attempts to pass his drivers license exam. The second half, however, follows his attempts to charm Mercedes (Heather Graham), the girl of his dreams, after she agrees to go out with him. But, like Murphy says, what has to go wrong, will go wrong, and the night becomes a hell-ish attempt from Les to return home safe and sound.

This is a film loaded with nostalgia for me. It was a frequent watch between me and my friends when we were teens, to the point that the day I passed my drivers license exam, I paged my best friend "I'm a freee maaan!" Still, for some reason I hadn't revisited it in a good while, so I was curious to see how well it would hold up 35 years after its release. So imagine my surprise when I found out it held up pretty well.

For most of its duration, the film moves within the realms of suburban magical realism as we experience Les' "painstaking" school bus trips, shackled to the seats with a cackling evil driver, or when we see him take his knowledge exam with the computer constantly blaring "INCORRECT" at him. There's also the bit with his road exam, where the examiner (James Avery) throws the clipboard out the window choosing to use his cup of coffee as the decider of Les' fate: "You burn me, you fail. You don't, you pass." This is made more funny when it's contrasted with the experience of Les' twin sister (Nina Siemaszko) and her examiner.

That first half is when the film mostly succeeds for me. The second half, which follows Les' date with Mercedes, and his subsequent adventures with Dean and Charles (Michael Manasseri) are still funny, but not as unique or effective as the first half. The treatment of the character of Mercedes might also be seen as a bit problematic, but it's played lightly enough. The last act which features Les driving his pregnant mother to the hospital could've been executed way better than it was and I would even argue was not necessary.

Even with those quibbles, I still think the film mostly succeeds in presenting this mix of absurdist and realist piece of teen fluff. Haim and Feldman are extremely likeable and have great chemistry as the leads. Plus, I think most of us can identify with the way the film transmits the desperation and anxiety of every teenager in earning their drivers license. After all, it's not an ordinary piece of paper; it's a license to live and to be a freeee maaan!

Grade:

Set in Element City, Elemental follows volatile Ember (Leah Lewis), a fire element that tends to lose her temper from time to time, as she navigates some tough decisions in her life. First, she is set to take over her family store which somehow seems to spark her fiery outbursts, and second, she's started developing a friendship with Wade (Mamoudou Athie), a more easy-going water element. Unfortunately, "elements cannot mix!", or so they are told.

Directed by Peter Sohn, a filmmaker and animator of Korean descent, Elemental uses its inventive premise to make some statements about discrimination and xenophobia. Sohn has said that a lot of the film's story is inspired in his own life as the son of Korean immigrants who happened to marry a white woman. Some of these parallelisms waver between cleverly integrated and heavy-handed, but they mostly stick to the former.

What the premise does is provide a canvas for some really colorful moments of animation as we see all these element "races": fire, water, air, and earth, interact together. There is also a charm to Ember and Wade's relationship which the animators successfully convey. I wish I could've seen the English version, but I saw the Spanish dubbed one. However, the dubbing actors were also pretty good.

The story does feel muddled from time to time with perhaps a few unnecessary tangents or excessive sequences (the final flood comes to mind) and there are some things that you know are put there to pull our heart strings in some not-so-subtle manipulative ways, but most of them work well enough. Overall, Elemental carries a solid message of acceptance and tolerance told in a creative and charming way, so let's embrace it.

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Said every parent after watching their kids play non-stop with the box of the most expensive toy ever. That is actually the twist of this very early Pixar short film, their fourth actually, titled Tin Toy. The short follows the titular toy as it tries to escape from a baby who seems determined to grab him.

Anyone can probably see the direct line between this and Lasseter's upcoming Toy Story. Hey, maybe the baby is a baby Sid! or Andy? Either way, it is a fun and interesting watch, especially when considering the trajectory and evolution of animation and CGI.

The animation of the baby (and its drool!) is particularly crude, which has always been true about human characters. But at the time of its development, it had to be an incredible achievement. The tin toy, however, looks great. So great that you just want to grab it and play with it... unless there's a box nearby.

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Released in 1984, The Adventures of André and Wally B. is a first short film produced by Lucasfilm Computer Graphics Project, which would later become Pixar. The above was one of the motivations of director Alvy Ray Smith when making this short film; they wanted a character to showcase their abilities to "create" something memorable.

Originally supposed to feature an android waking up to the world, a symbol of the awakening of CGI, the short was changed to feature André, a boy that is suddenly bothered by a bumblebee, which causes him to run from it. This allows the filmmakers to feature not only characters but notable actions like running in a fluid motion; something that was not usual in computer animation.

As is expected, the short is very, well, short and simple but that doesn't take away from its groundbreaking nature back in the 1980s. One has to wonder why Pixar never brought these characters back, but they certainly succeeded in creating something unique that would change the world of animation and filmmaking forever.

Grade: N/A