Part of the reason I spend a lot of time here is that I take film seriously (like most of us). It is a major aspect of my life. I’m also an unemotional person (some would say a psychopath), and that means films are pretty much the only thing that incites an emotional reaction from me.

I realised quite recently that being so attached to any kind of art is an isolating experience. There is almost no one I can truly share anything I like with, because chances are, they’ll ruin it for me. When I was a kid, my parents indoctrinated me into film, I’ll give them that. But I very quickly came to take the lead and after I turned 16, I’d pretty much always be the one introducing them to all things cinema. The same applies to my entire friendship group and even my colleagues.

It recently struck me that it’s an unfulfilling and counter-intuitive thing to do. Mad, basically. The dominant emotion for me when I show someone a film is the desire to share my admiration. Naturally, I am prepared for difference of opinion, critical discussion and whatnot. There are films I love that those close to me detest and vice versa. But there is a specific lack of appreciation that is hard to classify and that truly hurts on a physical level. I was watching something 20 minutes ago with someone who commented on the actress’ hair, something along the lines that the woman wouldn’t be able to keep it in such perfect condition and so well-curled without help in the house (it’s unambiguous that there’s no help living with them). And that’s going to sound crazy, but that killed the entire film for me, though I’d seen it a few times before and loved it.

I can’t explain why - I’m not the suspension of disbelief kind of person, so it’s not that it ‘threw me out of the story’, or anything like that - but I know from experience that from now on, if I ever watch it again, I’ll be thinking about her hair, coming up with arguments for and against whether she’d really be able to do a blow dry like that every day, and so forth. To many that will sound ridiculous, but it’s pure agony, like being told Santa is not real when you’re a child, I guess. Incidentally, I think the reason the woman has such perfect hair is grounded well enough in the narrative, but the fact I mention it just goes to show. It’s not about her hair, of course, but about that feeling that you can’t control how others perceive something - nor should you want to - and consequently, any attempt to share something you love leaves one extremely exposed. I never really thought about it like that before.

There are certain benefits in watching films in company, new perspectives, POV exposure, sure, I’ve always thought so. But today I wondered for the first time if there isn’t a kind of masochism to it. It seems aficionados can only really relate to and communicate with other aficionados, because such people at least know how to be tactful and not to ruin someone’s enjoyment. Even if you hate a film, you know how to sit it out and not to affect someone’s perception, then maybe express your view politely. Such experiences are worse than any kind of spoiler, but it’s the same sense that you can’t get back what people take from you.

No, I’m not yet high (that’s Friday), just very annoyed. Can anyone relate at all? Have you ever wished you haven’t shown/shared something? It’s not as simplistic as reading people your poetry and expecting them to love it. It’s not your art and you don’t own it, but you expect a level of respect, I guess. I don’t know.

If it helps, I do believe there are a number of MoFos here who think and feel the way you do about film...so you're in good company. I'm glad you're here. I don't personally feel the same way you do about film, but I can respect that you wrote how you feel and you wrote a very clear and precise OP. I guess I just wanted to say something nice to you:) We haven't really talked much before but hopefully we'll talk more in the future.

I appreciate it. Made me smile. Can’t say I always feel so strongly about it, either, but just now, I had an utterly visceral reaction to that entire interaction. I’m still on the floor in physical pain of some sort and with heartburn (no kidding). I suppose I’m not having a good time generally and environmental factors do make a difference. And I know I’m in very good company here, of course. High society. :) we’ll hopefully talk more in future, Citizen.

At least the post makes some sense. I really am curious if anyone else feels that way.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

I understand where you're coming from pretty well. I have a paradoxical relationship with art in that at its root the whole concept of it makes me feel connected with the rest of a world I'm totally alienated by. But because my particular preferences and opinions about art are so eccentric and extreme in their obsessions, I end up cutting off any sense of communion I can get through sharing my experiences. But (once again paradoxically), this makes me love art even more. Because it's good for us to have differences, as long as we can relate on the passion. I've learned to simply find that sense of connection with those who similarly love the medium as much as me and don't worry too much anymore if my particular tastes are similar. Because that really isn't the important part. This beautifully futile striving for connection is.

We can, that’s why we’re here, but I don’t know if other people do (or rather, I strongly suspect they don’t). But then, why should they be expected to? It’s odd. I relate to the unorthodox obsessions part, believe me. But I never tried to share that, just the more relatable parts.

That’s very wise. I’m nowhere near that stage psychologically. Something to think about. I wouldn’t say I’m looking for a connection per se when I do it (share art), I think I want to give something to someone, like art is a gift. That in itself is arrogant.

And the thing is, in this particular case that totally screwed my evening over, it worked. The person loved it. They’re ecstatic about the film, thanked me, and probably forgot the bloody hair conversation ever happened by now. That’s the supreme irony of it all. But you could well be right that it all stems from wanting to connect and that’s why it’s so hard to shake.

Re: do I feel this way. Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that it's often obvious to me that someone I'm talking to about movies is not approaching them the way I try to. Which is to say, they're often approaching them as pure entertainment, just something to fill time with, rather than works of art. And to be fair to them, a lot of the films they watch are better categorized as entertainment than art. There are certainly moments where other people's seeming ignorance of film's potential, however, is disappointing.

No in the sense that it doesn't bother me much in the abstract that these people exist, for a simple reason: there are lots of things I don't care about as much as film. In a lot of cases, a person who doesn't think of movies as more than entertainment is probably spending their thought and time appreciating something else. Somewhere out there is a person whose favorite movie is Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but who has a much finer understanding of the intricacies and beauty of woodworking than I ever will.

I'm being a little charitable here, because there are obviously people who go through life on a Dunning-Kruger rampage, not only failing to appreciate something we do, but not even grasping that it has the potential to be more, or maybe even finding the idea silly. And there are people who don't really try to deeply appreciate film, woodworking, or anything at all. And when I encounter those people, I share your frustration. But I think/hope these people are still fairly rare, and that in many cases each person who I wished loved and appreciated film more probably has something else on their mind, as opposed to nothing else.

And it can kinda-sorta be spun into a positive, I think: movies can be so many things to so many people. Think of all the things they can be to you, as someone who really loves them; think of the old movie poster "it made me laugh, it made me cry" trope. Not only do they have range in the type of emotion, they even have range in the level of emotion, which is to say they can choose to be disposable. They have the range to make you happy or sad and the range to be profoundly insightful or mere amusement. And I'm kind of glad they do, in the same way I'm kind of glad junk food exists, even though I wouldn't think much of someone who consumed it all the time.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

All that said...I cannot tell you how many people over the years, on this very site, have said some version of "I'm here because I can't talk to anyone else in real life about movies the way I want to." You have a lot of company in that regard.

Yeah, I gathered I wasn’t being original there. But that’s good to know. It really is a gem of a website.

My own movie watching journey is like a road trip...and I love road trips...Like a road trip I value seeing what's up around the bend and just over the next hill. I like movies for discovery. I'm a movie explorer. I don't often watch movies more than once and I really don't have any movies that hold any real deep meaning for me. Though movies have certainly moved me and made me ponder. But mostly I like watching movies as my own personal time machine. I can't go back to the 1950s or to the roaring 1920s but I can visit real moments that occurred and were captured and sealed in film, much like a fossil insect trapped in amber. Movies are magic like that.

This reminds me of trying to watch TV with my wife. She can only handle about two of my comments before she tells me to shut up. I can't blame her since I can't stand what she watches. She doesn't like my Beavis and Butthead addiction, so we both have our own TVs. It works out best that way.

I think this is true for any number of things that one appreciates, but others don't. My daughter doesn't appreciate my inability to appreciate EDM (electronic dance music), and certainly could do without my comments on how her favorite Korean boy band members aren't real men because real men don't wear guyliner and lipstick.

As for the general idea of somebody or something ruining the ability to buy into a movie, I imagine we all have different knowledge that makes it impossible. Somebody might be a history buff which can ruin an otherwise good semi-historical movie. A good example of that for me are those ridiculous teacher movies. I'm a teacher, so dead poets society is unwatchable. Everybody else is watching the damn thing and thinking that Professor Keating is the greatest teacher in the world, while I'm watching it and thinking that my students generally don't commit suicide or getting expelled for something I taught them. Let's not even mention school of rock which I've never been able to make it through thirty minutes before giving up.


Oh, and if you're wondering, the greatest teacher in the history of cinema is Mr. Hand. I can only sit up and take notes on how a class should be taught every time I watch fast times at ridgemont high.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

I can relate to this, at least. For me, this also leads to giving very little importance to other people's opinions, so I'm not bothered by their possibly negative remarks concerning my favorites.

I can somewhat relate to your example of someone's hair being unrealistic, though. I nitpick and focus on meaningless details too much. At times it seriously affects my ability to enjoy almost anything. Your specific example isn't something that would bother me (I'm mostly haunted by perceived logical flaws in the world, story, or character behavior), but I can see the point.

Otherwise, I mostly agree with @Yoda (I usually do, he's smart that way). I just don't do the division between entertainment and art. For me, art is sort of a snobby word for entertainment, and the difference between an entertainer and an artist is in the words they use to describe their creations. Most of the revered art from the old days was commercial entertainment of the day.

Well, guess what, I’m taking notes on that. No shortage of TVs in my household but somehow they’re all being watched together which doesn’t help. I do try to limit my comments when I’m with someone who doesn’t get it, but sometimes it is quite fun to discuss as you watch, so I don’t blame you.

That’s fair enough. Agree re: Dead Poets, passable film, but what a joke of a teacher & classroom environment.

Incidentally, how did Walter White do in your book? I always thought, as an outsider, that BB did a pretty good job showing why academics & highly specialised researchers make lousy teachers, but WW was fascinating to watch in the classroom.

I see. I suppose I am capable of seeing films as both art and entertainment (perhaps I would even say I always do), so I’m more with @pahaK here.

Doesn’t bother me that they exist, either. It’s more about whether to engage with them, but I guess not doing so would take something from me, too. I used to be very open to that sort of thing. I guess there’s a danger of turning into thought police yourself and watching what people say, which is awful and uncalled for. But the other extreme is just watching things alone all the time, which is a bit sad, but which I prefer anyway. One rule I’ve had for over a decade is to always go to premiere screenings alone to appreciate the ‘raw’ version without anyone’s input ruining it. A bit sad too, and although that’s the safe bet, you’re running the risk of existing in a solipsistic reality of sorts.

Fair enough. Hopefully I’ll get to that stage one day where I can think like that. It’s genuinely insightful and impossible to argue with. I guess I either don’t have the patience or take things too personally.

A friend constantly tells me about breaking bad and how I'm missing out, but I only watched a few of the first episodes before bailing, so I can't comment on Walter White.

I mean, I imagine it must be a bit of an odd one if you’re in the teaching profession. Probably complete bollocks re: how he actually teaches, but I’ve always thought it was reasonably well-researched, so perhaps they did dodge a bullet after all in terms of making it totally unrealistic.

Agrippina lies down on a couch & is asked How do you feeeeel when others suggest that you’re a pyschopath? :p

Love this. Over the years, I haven’t noticed any sort of reaction in myself when that happens. *Shrug*

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

You call yourself “unemotional”, but I perceive you as one of the most intense people here. You have a visceral reaction to things that most people wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about.

Humor me: Scorpio or maybe Aries?

AgrippinaX has anyone actually said you're a psychopath?Or did you mean that rhetorically?
I have to agree with Stirch, Agrip doesn't seem to me to be a psychopath as fair as I understand the term.

One trait of psychopaths is generally an ability to portray themselves as normal :D

:eek:Normal? None of us are normal here!:p

In response to the original question, I have certain films that I develop a deeply emotional/personal connection with, and I almost don't want anyone to say a word about them to me.

And it's hard when that reaction is pretty out of the norm. Like, most people would say that Predestination is a pretty good sci-fi thriller. But I connected with the movie with surprising intensity and emotion. So even hearing someone be like "Yeah, it's pretty good" is almost hard. It brings out this dramatic teenage persona who is like "Um, PRETTY GOOD?!?!?!?!? IT IS AMAZING!!!! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!!" *throws self down on couch dramatically*

So some of the films I love the most are actually the ones I am kind of gun shy about discussing because I take the criticisms of them almost personally.

It doesn't ruin a film for me when someone else doesn't see its greatness, but it does make me kind of grumpy.

I do love ruining those so called experienced of other if not sheeps

Say what?

Not even close. My mother is a Scorpio, she’s the most over-emotional person I know.

Well, yes, but that’s my point: I probably exhibit more emotion in virtual spaces like this one than I do in real life. The only three times I’ve ever cried were at film screenings. I might have some other kind of attachment disorder or something, but I don’t care enough to go investigating. As for appearing ‘normal’, hard to say, but when push comes to shove, people do call me out on inappropriately icy or non-empathetic reactions or comments.

Missed this - I had a slightly disorienting weekend. The end of your first paragraph is kind of what I was getting at. Doesn’t apply to all films for me, of course, but more than a select group, for sure. It must be an extreme form of snobbery but I’m finding myself far more comfortable watching things alone these days. And yes, second that re: taking criticism of favourites personally.

They have, not that I take it seriously, but I have heard that repeatedly since I was a child from relatives and strangers alike. Someone who read my early work also said ‘That looks like it was written by a psychopath.’ (Whatever that means). I think it’s not precise but something about how I perceive emotion and human interaction, as it were, is definitely way off.

The family doctor who literally delivered me also tentatively agreed that I might be one, so who knows.

My late mother was. Exhausting to listen to her list of grievances & grudges. Younger sister (Scorpio) is the exact same way. :rolleyes:

hm.
I type that as I consider getting knee- or neck-deep into this topic from work. Procrastination is a factor, of course, so this reply may or may not become an expansive waste of time.
:D

TLDR (assuming I add more): If someone can speak to their issues with whatever, well cool. I can accept it. If not, and they just blow it off then that gets under my skin. Or it can.

I'm being kind of vague I think. That may be intentional as I'm not sure how to pointedly express these thoughts. Partly, that may be because I've never really thought about it. Mostly, it's a reactive experience and of the moment.

It bothers me when someone is dismissive of something I love (be it movies, music, art, a rotting chunk of wood, whatever) on a superficial level. I mean, I usually judge things with a relative kind of view. Like, what was the aim? Was it too high? Then maybe that effort is worthy of praise. Was it by the numbers and just satisfactory? That might get a lower opinion from me. If a movie reaches me on such a level that I "love" it or that it stirs some weird deep well of emotion within me, then obviously I'd want to share ...experience(?) with others. Hopefully that gets shared with others that I actually care about. More, I suppose I mean others that I can trust to not ignorantly brush off whatever I'm trying to bring their attention to. Worst case, I can be OK to share a movie experience with anonymous like-minded individuals in a forum. *cough*. In a perfect world, if someone does not pick up on the vibe I seem to be sensitive to, then that someone would at least be able to recognize that vibe, critique their viewing experience, and provide some logical reason for NOT feeling whatever it was that I felt. That's cool. Respectable. If, however, that someone just throws out a, "Well that sucked!" and nothing more, then yeah. I'd probably leave nails under their tires one day long into the future to help blur motive.

If someone can at least give it the respect I feel it deserves, then that's all I can really ask. I don't ask that of others very often though as I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. And I don't want to put that out to the universe and be left hanging. Especially by someone I assumed would pick up what I'm offering. Huh. Thinking on this topic, I'm pretty sure I've done exactly this to a friend recently with a viewing of Parasite. I completely see and appreciate the reality that I'm probably a hypocrite in this!

Anyway.

I've posted two replies in this forum over the years, with the second basically a repeat of the first. I just forgot I had already shared the story. I won't repeat it a third time, but I'll reference it again! I fell in love with Dune way back in like 4th or 5th grade. Years later, I was with dad and his family looking for movies to rent. I pushed Dune. I knew he would respect it. At that time I was probably 14. He was the only one that stayed up to finish it. I knew he was as absorbed as I was. I knew he was seeing words within words, as I did. when the movie ended and the credits started to roll, he turned to me, paused, and guffawed out a sarcastic, "Giant space worms!?" or something as mocking. My heart was broken lol. You can find the full story somewhere buried here in a MOFO thread if you want the director's cut.

Needless to say, that firmly sealed shut a door that I was hopeful would be opened. To share something with "dad" in an agreed upon respect. Right. Don't get me wrong lol. There were some pretty major issues already wedged between us at that time. His reaction to that movie just put an end to me making any more efforts on that front.

So, yeah. Movies can trigger some deep **** in me. I don't expect others to be as drawn in on the notes that I catch. Would be nice though.

To the OP, I'm note sure I've been turned off from a movie by someone else stating some superficial observation such as the hair styling. I have caught observations like that, myself, and while I do cringe when those scenes appear, I don't think that awareness ruins the movie for me. An example I can think of is in The Matrix when Cypher mentions the "...image translators FOR the construct." to Neo. I HATE that he stressed the word "for" instead of "the construct." It changes the whole logic of that sentence (side note, I've made this complaint more than once in these forums too). My point, there, is that even with that annoying line, I can forgive it for the sake of the movie and what it was for sci-fi overall at the time of its release. I'm OK with it. I'm come to peace with it.

Too bad I can't as easily forgive and find peace with "friends."
:D

Jokes aside, I will try to find this story here if I get to grips with the search function. That sounds very similar to the experience I was describing. Luckily, the person involved is not a close friend and I wouldn't necessarily care if our relationship was affected.

I wonder if your dad meant it to be condescending/insulting or if it was what he would describe as giving his 'honest' opinion? I guess he did at least stay up, although I do get in some cases it might be better if people just leave and not finish watching. But I think it can easily happen when there are no issues between the two parties as well. My dad does this a lot too, though he generally appreciates film.

lol.
No. My dad is a smart ass. Not very deep. Not openly, at least. I'm sure he stuck it out for the sunken cost of it all. I was too young to know better. I was coming into my own self-awareness (particularly with movies) at that time. I assumed dad had already come to his adult awakening, so to speak. That's just not him. I know that now. at 14 or whenever, I just didn't. It's more now just a funny story to tell. Not often, of course, as I think only movie geeks would appreciate it. More specifically, sci-fi geeks. More MORE specifically, Dune geeks?

:D

In that case, yeah, I would have rather he just gone to bed when the stepmom did. I would have happily finished it on my own.

To your comment about this happening between two when there are no issues between them, I agree. I referred to that in my earlier post after thinking more on the topic. I did the very thing to a friend when watching Parasite. To the friend, this movie had easily become #1 on their list. Nothing but praise and was so eager to share just knowing I would react the same. I did not. A fault that I inherited from my father is my means of using humor as a bridge/distraction/coping mechanism/emotional crutch(?), and I callously applied exactly what he did to me after watching Dune, to my friend after watching Parasite.

Like my own need for my father's affirmation (and probably some deeper sense of acceptance?), my friend needed the same from me after watching Parasite I think. Sadly, I do not think I was aware of that misstep until writing my reply here. So I guess that just goes to show that as sensitive as we all can be, we can just as easily be insensitive to others without even being aware. Even for all the effort we may make to be mindful of it. That's neither here nor there, though. Just added observations to fill this reply a bit more.

No idea how to link a direct post, but this is that thread.

*edit*
I did not knock Parasite. I just didn't love it. I think that was probably as offensive as if I had mocked it. I'm not sure, but probably.

*edit edit*
Like Baby, from the corner of the Kellerman's Resort, Jokes are never aside. Or in the corner.

I've just read the raw version of the story, and bloody hell, that is, indeed, brutal. Very much the sentiment I had in mind when I started this thread. Makes you wonder how sensible in terms of one's own mental health it is to attempt these things in the first place.

I get your point about 'Parasite'. Not sure you 'not loving' it would feel as insulting to your friend, but you're right, of course, we can't safeguard ourselves against being insensitive. Still think it's a horrible thing to experience in adolescence. If anything, reading your 'Dune' horror story made me glad all my experiences of that sort occurred when I was an adult.

In the cases when I feel my reaction to a film or experience could be perceived as equally hurtful, I mostly make an effort to keep silent. That, I guess, creates the impression that I didn't care/couldn't be bothered to even comment, which is also not ideal. A tough one, basically. This might be excruciatingly banal, but I think these are the deal-breakers in any relationship - you just can't fake loving 'Dune' if you don't and the other person will be sure to see through that. Some might even find it more insulting if you tried (as I'm writing this, it reminds me of 'Lobster' and the Heartless Woman, who I always find myself sympathising with when the protagnist blatantly bull****s her that they are alike). My father has attempted that a few times over the years, didn't touch me personally but was amusing to watch how he tries to find something to point out that he liked in the film, from an academic perspective. Once my dad talks camera angles, that's bad news...

But then again (I'm also making a kind of general comment that's not particularly relevant to anything above), my mother is the kind of person who will use the experession, 'Yeah, it's not bad'/'It's alright' to show her deepest appreciation, which takes a lifetime of knowing her to get used to. Outsiders naturally think she didn't really like something/is being polite when she says that, but that's just the sort of thing she says when she means to be genuinely positive about a film. Very bizarre as she's otherwise an over-emotional being if there ever was one...

So that's that, not sure what that's got to do with anything. Some people also have reactions which are impossible to gauge, but that I find quite interesting and almost a better alternative. I remember watching one of the earliest Craig Bond films with a childhood friend I didn't know that well by then, and he spent the entire two-hour in dead silence. No smiles, no looking at me, nothing. I felt at the time that it stemmed from genuine respect for the film and being well-brought up in that way, as in, no eating, no noise when we're watching something. But at the same time, it is by nature a shared experience, so his complete lack of any kind of comment/contact stood out.

Years later, though, I begin to think what he did was the best thing you can do during a viewing. Definitely the safest bet if the two of you did decide to embark on the experience together.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

In all outsiders' defense, I over think things. Obsessively so. So much that I've usually played out the complete conversation in my head before it happens, plus maybe 10 or more variations. Just in case. Of course I'm generalizing and exaggerating, but I like to troubleshoot problems and enjoy chasing all of the options through some thing. I end up doing that with people a lot, but in a slightly different way maybe. I can project. I've used this analogy here once or twice, but it's like with a pet dog. They tilt their head to look up. I wonder what secrets of the universe the dog must be considering? What memory are they recalling? I wonder in awe. Unfortunately, the dog is most likely thinking, "Ass itch. Must drag on carpet."

I think we all probably do that with friends and family in one way or another. I mean the projecting part. Not dragging our asses on their carpets. We read into the gaps more than what we should, and pack those empty little spaces with whatever we would prefer to see in them. Justified or not. I do, at least. I totally did with my dad in that story with Dune. Sure, I've exaggerated for humor and the sake of the story, but I did actually lift up the moment as some potential symbolic thing. I think that's my fault more than my father's for not catching that particular ball to toss back at me. I expected something of him that just wasn't in his personality. But it's hard not to project such things. Ya know?

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

I mostly go alone to films. I don't have a big friend group and my friends aren't as rabid about movies as I have been. I live alone so I am used to watching films alone. (unless you count my kitties...by the way I am not a crazy cat lady. Crazy yes but I only have two cats and I feel you must have at least three to be a crazy cat lady.)
Maybe you are not a psychopath but are an empath and that is why other peoples comments are so disturbing to you.
I have to say I myself have consider the hair of the actors. I often imagine the set and the hair dresser combing the hair to get it back in place between takes. I wish I had gone into the movies as a profession and so dwell on the making of the film. Whether I am responding to the editing or the direction more. Did the director say "give your co-star some sideeye in this scene" or did the actor make that call.
You would probably go mad if I chatted during a film with you.

This must be me then. :rolleyes:

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

How many kitties do you have?

Two inside, females. About 7 or so outside (and counting) that we feed & get fixed. It’s crazy.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

I have four yard cats that I claim. Randomly, a fifth shows up for food and will hang out for a day or three before wandering off or back home. I've also seen a sixth lurk up for breakfast after I've left the driveway for work. Not as often though. I'm a guy. Am I a crazy cat lady still?


=\


These cats are still wild for the most part. I've caught them each and had them fixed, but that was an exhausting task.

It’s so nice you to do this. So many people feed stray cats & don’t have them fixed. Drives me nuts.

I know how exhausting this is: our nearest cat shelter’s “cat whisperer” who has always helped us trap our cats has retired & I have no idea what we will do in the future. Will have to deal with this as it takes place, I guess.

So many cats over the years. :rolleyes:

Tuna fish in the back of a latch door pet taxi :D


That worked for 3 and they were pretty chill about it. The fourth was cunning and too smart and/or paranoid to be caught the same way. For her, I had to place a leash ring around a pile of cat food like a snare. Once she started eating I ever-so-slowly raised the snare up and over then pulled to tighten. Cat went berserk =\


I'm not kidding to compare the experience to reeling in a large mouth bass from a creek, all jumping and flailing, spinning mid-air cartwheels with all claws out. She exhausted herself. Tried to murder me. Even then I had to wrap a towel over her to maneuver her into the cage.


Good luck!!

We’ve always used a drop trap with the lady from the shelter. Some cats are so easy to entice into the trap. Others, not so much.

Good for you, seriously.

There are a lot of people around me who feed strays but do not fix them or give them medical care.

One of my barn cats figured out that the trap was not so bad. If we would try to catch other cats she would go in, get trapped, eat the food, then patiently wait to be released the next morning.

^lol
cats.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

You crazy cat people are the best. I am glad you are doing TNR (trap/neuter/release to the uninitiated)
I got my two from a local cat shelter which I sponsor. No outdoor kitties in my life. I live in an apartment building.

I am a big softie, so instead of trap/neuter/release, it's more like trap/neuter/crap-I-named-you-I-guess-you-live-here-now.

for real.
It started with 3. I didn't want a pet since losing my pup a few years earlier, but these three kittens just appeared one day and one was curious enough to jump into the cab of my truck one night. That got my attention, so I started feeding them. I could, at the time, pick the curious one up without issue. Not anymore. Anyway, I figured they'd hang out for a few days and move on. Never did. So I named them. Simon, Iddy-biddy Jr., and Matilda (solid black). After maybe 6 months, I had to travel for work and I didn't want to just leave them so I trapped them. Well, two of them. I spent 2 hours trying to catch the third, Matilda. The big mouth bass of cats noted earlier.

I took them to the vet to be fixed, boarding, and for vaccines. I remember getting a call when I was wherever I was for the job, and the vet said they had to move them to a more secure kennel area. Apparently, they were literally climbing the cage walls and would get out whenever a tech opened the door to feed them. I laughed because in my head, I visualized my three kittens causing all kinds of hell for the vets and tech assistants. I imagined my cats wearing biker-style leather vests and bandanas, just knocking random stuff over and beating people up for no other reason than because they could. Yeah. My kitty gang. I was proud.

Since then, a fourth cat has appeared. I've named it Spot. Randomly 2-3 others frequent the lawn but not on a regular contractual basis.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

BTW, I recognize this pet chat as a brief intermission from the original topic. We will soon return back to your regularly scheduled program.

Yeah, mine are a total hodge-podge.

Two are twins who were at a sawmill where cats/kittens did not tend to last long--lots of big trucks in and out, huge logs/planks constantly falling or being stacked, etc. One is a kitten I found on the side of the road. One is a friend's cat who couldn't live inside anymore, the shelter didn't want her, and there was basically zero chance of being adopted. So she shipped her across the country (literally coast to coast), and now she lives on my back patio. One is a kitten who was in a cat colony on the property next door. Her mother was killed by a car. So I have the one kitten, my sister took its brother, and another family friend took her sister. The last one is a shelter cat. The kitten desperately needed a companion, so BOOP. Shelter baby. She came from a hoarding situation and she has some weird quirks/medical stuff, but she is very friendly and has a lot of personality.

This is similar to how I have gotten many of my chickens as well. One day I hope to get a mule or a donkey or, heaven help me, some goats.

And to loop is back to the topic of the thread, cats are great movie-watching companions! They have all of the correct opinions about Dredd and Kiss the Girls.

My male cat, Scooter is the only one who has shown any interest in the television, besides chasing Molly (his sister) behind it and knocking the cord out of the wall. I was scrolling through TUBI and saw Bob Ross (the happy little trees-painter). I stopped to watch it and Scooter was mesmerized. He watched a whole half hour of it. That was when I had enough. I don't know if he would have kept on watching or would like to return to it. He is a happy little cat.

Re: ‘Spoiling’ as in ‘ruining’
 

I think Agrippina will have to wrestle this post back from us. I will see if there isn't a old pet post I can resurrect.

Then they wonder why, suddenly, there is a colony in the backyard. :rolleyes:

Totally. There is a new tuxedo hanging around now. Husband says it’s a male, but he usually has no clue as to gender. Funny little thing who needs to clean itself up.

I would say our “colony” is getting out of control, but what can we do? No cat will quit our yard once it figures out there’s food to be had. Who can blame them.

If you are neutering (and especially neutering females), then you are more than doing your part.

Actually, it’s better to neuter the males if one has to choose between the sexes. We spay/neuter & don’t choose, but some places lacking funds neuter the males only.

It’s fine; I enjoy the exchange and I love cats.

Awww, just as I’m leaving until Monday, you arrive. Story of my life. :rolleyes:

I’m always here, lurking around...

Do you always leave for the weekend?

I’m very intoxicated (that’s what Fridays are for, though I really overdid it last week). Just finished Le Locataire (1976). Good stuff.

Yeah, right.

I tried.
:D

er... I mean, I tiered, for the inebriated. I've never tried Le Locataire (1976), let alone an entire bottle of it.





:D :D

I know it is cheaper to do males. My thought has always been that it only takes one unneutered female to have a litter of kittens.

Per my signature, I’m here Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays only.

True, but the female wouldn’t get pregnant if the males are fixed.

It depends on the budget of the group or individual doing the TNR. Some groups can’t afford both procedures & I think it’s wise to do the males only in that case.

Also, I don’t want to come off as sanctimonious in this matter. I always say “don’t feed to breed”, but it’s not possible always to fix every cat even if we feed it. There are one or two in our backyard that cannot be trapped, will not go into a carrier, & cannot be handled. Period. I hope they’re fixed, but we have no way of finding out. If we don’t feed these particular cats they will just steal from the other cats who are fixed. So it’s tricky.

Man, this thread has gone off topic.

I guess I always think of it as math. If you have 10 cats (assume 5 female and 5 male) and you only neuter the males, all it takes is one unneutered male to wander into the area and BAM, you potentially have 5 litters of kittens. But if you fix as many females as possible, it doesn't matter how many unneutered males there are, because the potential litters of kittens are limited by the number of females, not the number of males.

I definitely appreciate that there are logistical and budgetary issues. I say every little bit helps. I have two male cats who are very, shall we say, assertive, so I don't get a lot of interlopers in my yard.

all four of my yard kitties are female. not one male in the bunch to chase off competitors. i THINK the orange cat (5th cat) is male, but if so, he never sticks around but a day or two at a time. useless! so tired of random new cats popping up. it's like MINE are spreading the word of free food. wtf?


what was the topic again?

Definitely two sides to the coin on this one. We fix both regardless of gender so I will leave it at that. :)

I used to talk about movies in high school and felt the sting of a well placed barb. How the hell was I supposed to know it was a chick flick? :bawling:

:lol:

I used to share movies to people without giving any consideration to what they like and then got upset when they didn’t like it. Who does that?! That’s so lame.

These days I try not to share something unless I know they might at least like it and if they do there’s a solid 15 minute conversation after and then it fizzles. Some people just don’t think about cinematography and camera angles and movement, and lighting and audio and blah blah whatever gets your motor going.

For me it’s when I find a new movie with a great story and long sweeping takes of landscapes. Holy cow that gets me going like crazy and I ain’t found many that feel that way about film so I geek alone. To share is questionable at best. At least I ain’t drinking alone!

:p Probably all the MoFos do that, so you're in good company🙂

Yes, different approaches (sort of)--not an argument at all.

I mean, we're cat ladies, but we're not crazy cat ladies.

We're Classy Cat Ladies. :D

(I hope you do not take offense at the term Cat Lady).

Heck no. But, in my neighborhood, my friend Cathy is “the cat lady”, not me. :)