MovieGal's Twisted Commentaries

[MovieGal]

Mun ching sap daai huk ying
[aka A Chinese Torture Chamber Story]
(1994, China)
Directed by Bosco Lam


Today with Neiba

[MovieGal]

Oh Neiba, let me know when you are ready.....

[neiba]

:) Ready!!!

[MovieGal]

Ok Go!

[MovieGal]

Remember this a twisted comedy....

[neiba]

WOW! Great start!

[MovieGal]

oh wow.... they cut it off!!!

[MovieGal]

ewwww.... the cut to the head...... lol

[neiba]

that hurted my soul!

[MovieGal]

when they cut .... the.... off? I bet that would hurt any man...

[neiba]

yes! :o and the feather he put to replace it! --'

[MovieGal]

One thing I love about historical asian films is the costumes..... most are accurate.....

[MovieGal]

lol.. I might be a bit ahead of you...

[Swan]

JERKS!

[MovieGal]

you didnt say if you wanted in or not Swan..... lol

[neiba]

a bit but not a lot! I saw the head scene 30 seconds after you, I think!

[neiba]

but it looks calmer now, I though it would be 90 minutes of that intensity!

[MovieGal]

oh Neiba..just wait..they get more twisted and funnier....

[MovieGal]

crush the fingers!!!

[neiba]

poor girl's ass! :(

[MovieGal]

yeah ... lol... it was extremely red.....

[neiba]

death by explosive penis???? loool!

[neiba]

I love the soundtrack, btw!!!

[MovieGal]

foot binding is the worst torture ever.. I have read enough about it...

[MovieGal]

death by explosive penis???? loool!

lol just wait!!!!!

[neiba]

now, I got to the crush the fingers part! shiiiiiiiiiiiit!

[hello101]

Not enough twistedness.

[MovieGal]

I mean there is an actual story to this... its not all torture and sex.. lol

[MovieGal]

Not enough twistedness.

Im keeping my comments mild.. I dont want Yoda mad...

[MovieGal]

tortoise blood? really..ewww....

[MovieGal]

lol ancient sex toys....

[neiba]

I mean there is an actual story to this... its not all torture and sex.. lol

yes, I can see that! That makes the twisted scenes more impressing!

[MovieGal]

lol she's tied up with bells on her.......

[neiba]

ahhahahahaha! the sex scene is hilarious! ahahahhaha!

[MovieGal]

and I told you it was a comedy... lol someone thought it as a porn.....

[MovieGal]

oh my gosh...... that that..... mmmmmmmm

[neiba]

ahahhahahahahah! the tit stimulator!

[MovieGal]

we should get Yoda to commentate with us sometime on one of the films....

[neiba]

yeah! :P

[MovieGal]

I think he's falling for the wrong concubine... I think his wife is going to be pissed.....

[neiba]

yeah... I woudn't dare to predit this film, but everything is pointing to the wife!

[MovieGal]

I actually picked the "mild" movie poster for this....

[neiba]

yes! the one on imdb is a bit more extreme!

[MovieGal]

lol wow the names of the.... "The Joy of Three Lifetime"?...

[MovieGal]

Lunatic!!

wait thats what I am....

[MovieGal]

Microscopic breasts? .. no she wanted huge jugs....

[neiba]

damn, everyone is sleeping with with everyone?

[MovieGal]

pretty much...... lol

[neiba]

ahahha! :p and the soundtrack on that part! ahahah!

[MovieGal]

a lot of voyeurism in the film tooo

[MovieGal]

she is feeling ssoooo uncomfortable... touching....

[neiba]

yeahh! this pretty much has every category of porn! lesbians too! :p

[MovieGal]

Im sorry this scene is a bit "over the top".... to say the least..... but I think thats the point..

[MovieGal]

yeahh! this pretty much has every category of porn! lesbians too! :p

But its not porn!

[MovieGal]

oh uh... she seen the wife with another guy...... hmmm

[MovieGal]

Oh little cabbage has to marry the man that "it drags the floor" and there are rhino sounds with the movements...

[MovieGal]

the pressure is killing the rat!!!!!

[neiba]

the little tit woman is so hilarious!!! ahaha

[MovieGal]

Little Cabbage is scared of sleeping with her new husband.... I wonder why???

[neiba]

:o damn!

[MovieGal]

why is there a cat howling?....

[neiba]

ahahah! :p If they sleep together, I wanna see that scene!

[MovieGal]

they got the "karma sutra" as a wedding gift.... do you really thin they need that the way the film is going???

[MovieGal]

lol A chinese unchained melody!!!! lol

[neiba]

Even the doll looks scared!

[MovieGal]

well at least she is helping him........

[MovieGal]

Im not cleaning that wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MovieGal]

oh some fighters flying thru the air with swords.. what every Chinese films needs.... now hand to hand combat....

[neiba]

ahahhahahahahaha! Unchained melody! ahahahahahhahah! I'm laughing so hard right now! ahahha

[MovieGal]

LOL ohhhhh I cant stop laughing....

[neiba]

oh man... that's just gross!

and yeah, sword fight... why?? just, why?

[MovieGal]

oh man... that's just gross!

and yeah, sword fight... why?? just, why?

he fought with two different swords.... LOL

[MovieGal]

this fight scene is just tooooo over the top... to funny....

[neiba]

no, they're not fighting with oral sex!!!! AHAHAH!

[MovieGal]

"How was it?".. "The best time I've had in months"...

[neiba]

The face of the guy watching is the same as mine right now! :p

[MovieGal]

Neiba stick with me.. and that expression will become permanent..

[MovieGal]

Oh he's pissed his wife married Little Cabbage off.... now its her turn for some torture....

[neiba]

"COUNTERATTACK!!!"

[neiba]

The plot is a bit messy right now! Like the wall after Got relieved himself!

[MovieGal]

The plot is a bit messy right now! Like the wall after Got relieved himself!

lol yeah it was pretty bad

[neiba]

JAWS! AHAHAHAHA!

[MovieGal]

lol he's now invisible.... and has her down on the bed...

[MovieGal]

"Big dick huh? I will kick you in the crotch".... I doubt he felt any pain....

[neiba]

I believe he felt it now! Deep inside!

[MovieGal]

broken bowls, on your knees being dragged thru it..... the blood... LOL

[MovieGal]

fingernails being pulled off.... ...

it reminds me of another film.... I enjoy.....

[neiba]

I was meaning the unexpected felatio... But the broken bowls seems hurting too"

[MovieGal]

I was meaning the unexpected felatio... But the broken bowls seems hurting too"


Yeah I figured you were referring to the unexpected surprise!

[MovieGal]

I told Minio he would enjoy this film... Im sure he would....

[neiba]

so, the invisible guy is the same the prescribed these medicins? I'm lost! lol!

[MovieGal]

so, the invisible guy is the same the prescribed these medicins? I'm lost! lol!

yeah its the same guy....

[MovieGal]

nice way to torture.... wet paper on the face.... just leave him there to die

[neiba]

of course she's still a virgin! she wouldn't be able to walk with a husband so... gifted...

[MovieGal]

of course she's still a virgin! she wouldn't be able to walk with a husband so... gifted...

yeah she was still a virgin until those two women showed up.. lol

[neiba]

yeah! damn! that must be the equivalent to penis explosion!

[MovieGal]

again fingernail torture... remind me we need to watch "Shadows in the Palace"...

[MovieGal]

the whip then the rod.. the pain... now making him confess....

[neiba]

weird noises are coming out of my room right now! Poor neighbours!

[MovieGal]

my daughter walked in and was looking at the screen with a weird face....

[MovieGal]

the two in the trees crack me up....

[MovieGal]

the woman from the trees knocked the guy out with her breasts... lol

[neiba]

the sound effects are priceless! ahahah!

[MovieGal]

the sound effects are priceless! ahahah!

Im glad you are enjoying the film.. LOL..

[MovieGal]

rolling around on a bed of nails naked.... to prove her brother's innocence... lol

[neiba]

this is weird in an amazing way! ahah! and so damn funny!

[MovieGal]

You know there is a part 2... LOL

[neiba]

they had strange methods! I wonder why this is not used nowadays!

[MovieGal]

his wife is now busted for having sex with that guy and accusing her husband and little cabbage of adultery.....

[MovieGal]

why is the woman's torture worse than the man's in this film???

[neiba]

More torture!!! YEEEEY!

[MovieGal]

did you notice the actress that plays Little Cabbage looks like Ziyi Zhang?

[neiba]

why is the woman's torture worse than the man's in this film???

good question! but they are both pretty bad!

[neiba]

did you notice the actress that plays Little Cabbage looks like Ziyi Zhang?

yes! :) she is very beautiful!

[MovieGal]

hmmmm Neiba... I think he's wife finally has sex with him... just wait!!!
and the unchained melody again!!

[MovieGal]

she cant even sit down on him fully.... LOL

[neiba]

Aahahah! :p an entire group of scouts could camp under that!

[MovieGal]

oh man.. the blood... its worse than whats in "Antichrist"!!!!

[neiba]

ohh, plot hole! she said she was a virgin!

[neiba]

this blood with this soundtrack! ahahahah! EPIC!

[MovieGal]

ohh, plot hole! she said she was a virgin!

lol

[MovieGal]

Well it was a unique and fun watch...... we will have to do A Chinese Torture Chamber Part 2... sometime...

[honeykid]

I enjoyed reading that as you went along. :)

[neiba]

ahahahahah! Poor Nanny! Best character of the movie! ahahah

[MovieGal]

Thanks HK... you have to see the film.... its funny... and strange...

[neiba]

Well it was a unique and fun watch...... we will have to do A Chinese Torture Chamber Part 2... sometime...

YES! :) we definitely have to watch more of this stuff! ahah! this was so epic! :D thanks MG! ;)

[MovieGal]

You're Welcome Neiba..

I need to look around for some more films for us.. perhaps on that site.... maybe "Vase de Noces" or "Woods are Wet".... or we could do "The Theatre Bizarre" or "The House of Flesh Mannequins"...

[MovieGal]

So next Tuesday, Neiba and I, are going to do..

http://i58.tinypic.com/mmagpf.jpg

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1763316/

If anyone is up to it... please join us... it will be around 12 noon cst.. or 18:00 wet

Just send us a message to let us know you are in.. so we can gather together at the right time...

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hilarious commentary thread. I wanna watch something with you sometime. This thread might get nominated by me next year for "Best Thread" at the 2015 MoFies.

[MovieGal]

Well SC...its kind of hard to do with my schedule.... you work during the day... and tuesdays is my day off... at night I dont get to watch to many films... and well Friday nights is taken by someone else....

[cricket]

I think this was the first commentary thread I read. Don't know how you got poor Neiba into this. Good stuff though.

[rauldc14]

You,never read mine Cricket!? For shame

[Mr Minio]

I hate this kind of threads, but at least the movie titles are interesting.

[Gatsby]

At first when I read the first few posts I didn't think this would work at all, especially with a duo of MG and neiba... but this is the funniest commentary on the entire forum I have ever seen. Even though I didn't know what the hell the film was about and I knew it isn't my kind of movie the commentary made it look really funny and interesting, and that's when you know it is truly good one.

Keep on continuing the awesomeness! :up:

[neiba]

I think this was the first commentary thread I read. Don't know how you got poor Neiba into this. Good stuff though.

I will never be the same again, Cricket! :p

[MovieGal]

I think this was the first commentary thread I read. Don't know how you got poor Neiba into this. Good stuff though.

Thanks Cricket! Yeah it was a fun movie to watch.... it wasnt just about the sex ... it was about the torture and the silly music... Oh I did have fun with Neiba!! He said he was willing to watch anything with me... and he will!

I will never be the same again, Cricket! :p

But is this a bad thing? Just wait hun, we have some more films that are a bit out there...

[MovieGal]

At first when I read the first few posts I didn't think this would work at all, especially with a duo of MG and neiba... but this is the funniest commentary on the entire forum I have ever seen. Even though I didn't know what the hell the film was about and I knew it isn't my kind of movie the commentary made it look really funny and interesting, and that's when you know it is truly good one.

Keep on continuing the awesomeness! :up:

thanks Gats... I think some of the films will be more serious in the future.. the next film, "The Theatre Bizarre" is a horror film. It has some sick scenes but not to sick.... one I do want to watch with Neiba is "Salo or 120 Days of Sodom".... that far sick then "The Theatre Bizarre" and perhaps I can get him to watch "Niku daruma" (aka "Tumbling Doll of Flesh") or even a couple of the "August Underground" films....

But seriously .. anyone is welcome to join... we will try to post the movie as soon as possible... just let us know if you want to join it..

Neiba, I do have a few normal films I would like you to see... perhaps a Danish dark comedy and a German film thats a thriller but interesting as well.

[neiba]

Thanks Cricket! Yeah it was a fun movie to watch.... it wasnt just about the sex ... it was about the torture and the silly music... Oh I did have fun with Neiba!! He said he was willing to watch anything with me... and he will!

:p I just heard your mind: "MUAHAHAHAH"! :p

But is this a bad thing? Just wait hun, we have some more films that are a bit out there...

:p No, it's awesome! wooo-hooo! :D

[MovieGal]

I believe if I'm right this was in The 2014 MoFie Award Ceremonies


Ok so you will watch sick perverted films with me?

You know I wll! :yup: :blush:

[neiba]

I believe if I'm right this was in the The 2014 MoFie Award Ceremonies

https://mattsko.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/william-powell-wink-gif.gif?w=560

[MovieGal]

Ok Im here but going thru the credits on the disc first.

[MovieGal]

Today's showing is

The Theatre Bizarre

http://www.furiouscinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Sweets.jpg

[neiba]

Ready, when you are, MG! :)

[MovieGal]

Ok Go

[MovieGal]

Ok I paused it since something is going on with you...

[neiba]

The old woman is spooky!

[MovieGal]

ok I pressed go lol

[neiba]

Oh, I thought you said go!

[MovieGal]

yeah she is... lol

[MovieGal]

this is a bit more mild than most I enjoy but I figured...we had a comedy.. now a bit of a horror....

[neiba]

It always starts with a guy not understanding girl's directions! :p

[MovieGal]

strange carvings on the building.....

[neiba]

Great soundtrack!!!

[MovieGal]

its been a while, over 2 years, since I seen this.. so its a good rewatch for me..

[neiba]

So, we're going to have giant scary frogs? Seems nice! :D

[MovieGal]

perhaps.. and now I think you are ahead of me.. lol

[neiba]

wooow! the old woman is hot now???

[neiba]

lol! a lot?

[neiba]

ooookkk....not so hot now...

[MovieGal]

Pause it..

[neiba]

Done! Tell me when to go!

[neiba]

I paused it at 16:09

[MovieGal]

ok..

[MovieGal]

Ok Go!

[neiba]

going! :)

[MovieGal]

damn.... I wonder what's going to happen to the woman???

[MovieGal]

Rule of traveling.. Never go into the woods at night, alone, when traveling in a foreign country.. what the heck!

[neiba]

ooohhh ok! There's the giant frog! :p

[MovieGal]

lol her hands and feet are some weird animal... never seen frogs have claws...

[MovieGal]

his wife is no more!...

[neiba]

AHHHH, grosss!

[MovieGal]

wow.. she eat him....

[MovieGal]

new story... new blood....

[neiba]

ohh...so this was all a chapter? This is like a bunch of unrelated scary stories?

[MovieGal]

Yeah... that was mentioned at the beginning.... its like 4 stories...

[neiba]

So, guy wakes up with his hand almost cut in half, lying on his bathroom and don't remember nothing? That's what I call an hangover!

[MovieGal]

So, guy wakes up with his hand almost cut in half, lying on his bathroom and don't remember nothing? That's what I call an hangover!

Just dont get THAT drunk and have sex with an old woman who becomes some frog creature... then I will need to worry about you....

[neiba]

And then the girl breaks up with him with the classic: "It's not you, it's me!" --'

[MovieGal]

can we say Obsessive-Compulsive..

[neiba]

Just dont get THAT drunk and have sex with an old woman who becomes some frog creature... then I will need to worry about you....

Wow... you just described my ex-gf! :p

[MovieGal]

did she just call him "Papa".... and now the sex?

[MovieGal]

hmmmmm she was bored during that sex.... just laying watching the ceiling...

[neiba]

Ya, the girl looks bored...

"Why are you leaving, didn't you enjoy the sex?"

"Oh, it was that obvious???" :p

[neiba]

He's a bit of the jealous type, isn't he?

[MovieGal]

again..he's got relationship issues....

[neiba]

Never trust a french girl... Never date a german guy! :p

[MovieGal]

Is she f*cking everyone?

[MovieGal]

I think he's a bit selfish... he never made her...............

[neiba]

"Your penis and my vagina never liked eachother"

That's poetry! :p

[MovieGal]

lol

[MovieGal]

oh what the f*ck??? he killed them both!!!

[neiba]

Whaaaat?

[MovieGal]

check out that huge slice on her breast! you can see the muscle tissue...

[MovieGal]

oohhhhhhh the slice across the throat!!!

[neiba]

and this shot is the same of the one when they finished having sex! great concept!

[MovieGal]

oh Neiba.... the title for any guy.. "Wet Dreams"

[neiba]

story of my life :p

[MovieGal]

Tom Savini wrote this one...he's a well known name is horror... and he was the guy who had the guns on his crotch in "From Dusk To Dawn"...

[MovieGal]

well.. a guy should never dream of a naked woman.. because she may become a strange creature and eat his d*ck..

[neiba]

shhhhiiit!!!!! My soul started crying now!

[MovieGal]

hey Neiba!! there is a scene like that in "Cannibal"!!!! frying the penis!

[MovieGal]

Oh Tom is the psychiatrist too in this!

[neiba]

now he's even dreaming with it!

[MovieGal]

Nice he's chained down.. like all men should be!

[neiba]

At least he's not a frog or had crabs like the other girl (literally) had!

[MovieGal]

thats cool.. "Let's cut our wedding cake.. then I will cut your wrist"

[MovieGal]

oh damn.. the woman he was dreaming about got her legs ripped off...

[MovieGal]

I bet if every man was laying on a table and had the threat of a table saw blade cutting them from the groin upward.... they would NEVER think of cheating......

[neiba]

damn!!! this is sick!!!! is he dead or not?

[MovieGal]

ewwwww... seriously they cut his penis off! and left him like a vegetable....

[neiba]

ohhhhhh... that's overly punishing! He just cheated on you woman!!!

[MovieGal]

thats what you call a wife's revenge!!!

[MovieGal]

by the way .. is his name "Bob"?

[neiba]

AHHHHHHHHH! This is not a dream?

[MovieGal]

she really did some work on him... no arms, no legs, no penis and no eye lids... now you wont have any wet dreams f*cker!

[neiba]

the Intermezzos are amazing! :)

[MovieGal]

I think this story is going to be more of a serious one.....

[neiba]

Kids and their "why people die" questions...

[MovieGal]

yeah... and he hit a deer on his motorcycle......

[neiba]

I bet the guy doesn't know how to ride a bike without his hands, after all!
Poor reindeer! :( Saddest scene of all movie!

[MovieGal]

"Mommy will that man ever wake up again".. "No dear"... "not even as a zombie".... seriously woman your child watches to much of "the walking dead"....................lol

[MovieGal]

sometimes when we commentate.. I feel like we are these guys...

http://www.jeffbots.com/mst.jpg

[neiba]

Am I suppose to know who those guys are? :p

[MovieGal]

Yeah I guess that is before your time.... they are from Mystery Science Theatre 3000.. they commentate on old sci-fi and horror shows... and are pretty funny....

[MovieGal]

http://www.dvdactive.com/images/reviews/screenshot/2012/6/mst3kbdcap6_original.jpg

[MovieGal]

Ohhh this story is good...its the "eyeball" one.... you willl cringe!!!

[MovieGal]

damn she's a junkie!!...

[neiba]

The last one was surprisingly deep! I liked it!

And this one starts as Requiem for a Dream!

[MovieGal]

The last one was surprisingly deep! I liked it!

And this one starts as Requiem for a Dream!

hmmm no.. watch....

[neiba]

AARGHHH! NOT ON THE EYE!

[neiba]

Damn, she's not a vampire!! Why would you do that?

[MovieGal]

apparently you didnt see my post.. I said it was the 'eye' one....

[neiba]

I saw it, I just didn't realize she was going to do that!

wow! I like the concept of this one! Girl who doesn't dream steals the last thoughts of other people as they die! This is like Perfume with dreams instead of smells!

[MovieGal]

seriously I could never stick a needle in my own eye... ugh

[MovieGal]

and she only kills the homeless and junkies.. living your life thru the vision of others..

[MovieGal]

ok lets kill a pregnant prostitute/crackhead and try to get the visions of the unborn baby

[neiba]

that's so wrong in so many ways!

[MovieGal]

hmmm this is f*cked up!

[neiba]

how does she now she actually stick hte needle in the baby's eye?

[neiba]

the voice over is scary!!

[MovieGal]

how does she now she actually stick hte needle in the baby's eye?

I doubt it... it was probably Amniotic fluid... but hey it caused her to stop her trade..

[MovieGal]

serves her right... now she's blind!!!

[neiba]

:eek: daaaaamn! I just screamed!

[MovieGal]

I would have loved to be there to see that!!

[MovieGal]

hey thats Udo Kier!!!!

[MovieGal]

we need to watch a creepy Udo Kier movie... he's such a great actor....

[MovieGal]

Oh Neiba this is the best and gruesome story!

[neiba]

Now the girl is just debitating typical break up excuses!

[MovieGal]

but he's a slob..... oh gesh... the pie in the crotch scene....

[MovieGal]

"But I love you................................................................. as a friend"....