THE MOFO CHILL CLUB

Even as a young boy growing up at the circus, I knew that something wasn’t quite right with me. The other kids used to pick on me because I preferred playing with dolls and make-up rather than plastic guns and footballs. I’d look down at my penis with revulsion and try to will it back into my body. Sometimes I’d even sneak into the bearded lady’s tent to try on her dresses. As I grew older and learned more about gender identity, I realized that I was a woman trapped inside a clown’s body. I have lived with this secret for many years, ashamed and afraid of being judged and ostracized. BUT NO LONGER! A year ago I started my transition into becoming the woman I was always meant to be. I’ve taken all the necessary steps, from hormone replacement therapy to breast augmentation. A few weeks ago I finally underwent the final step: inverting my penis into a vagina. Captain Spaulding was nothing more than a cocoon preparing the beautiful butterfly inside of me for her metamorphosis into the real world. I am born anew! Caitlyn Spaulding has finally blossomed! And I am looking forward to spreading my wings across the forum as your new heroine and inspiration!

Since I no longer have a penis, I doubt Sexy Celebrity will want anything to do with me, which means . . .

I’M SINGLE!!!!

So act quickly before somebody else sweeps me off my feet. Just be gentle. My new vagina hasn’t fully dilated yet.



(I had my scrotum stitched into a lovely coin purse that is currently for sale on Ebay. PM me if you're interested and I'll provide the link.)