If you could kill one director...

I wouldn't kill any of them. They make movies, and I'm happy because of it. The fact that someone thinks a particular Director sucks at making movies and deserves to die because of it... I would like to see you make a movie, okay Charlie? You'd get handed a script that was broken down, crap your pants, no one would listen to you, some grip would end up taking over, the DP would say half apple and you'd go buy some real apples, the sound man would say shotgun and you'd call the police, the gaffers would call for a silk and you'd get a prostitute, your actors would direct themselves, no amount of volume on the bullhorn would get you attention, your storyboarder would rip you off, the producer would be stashing money in the prop budget, you'd get handed 16mm and think it was 35mm, your lenses would be dirty and your DP wouldn't care, your editor gave you someone elses demo reel and passed it off as their own, the production company is going to tear your face off, your financial supports are coming by and you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe, your breath stinks, you haven't showered in days because you can't keep to one idea, your walkie talkies would break, you would finally finish your crap movie then leave the film in your car on a hot day resulting in a mess of colors, then you would end up the star of a thread on Movie Forums. Enjoy every movie, even if it sucks ass.

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Kill Bob Clark

Wow. Way to take a hypothetical question.

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You're not hopeless...

If a movie does, say 'suck ass' as it were, then why would one bother? I mean, hey, I watched Godzilla the other day and it blows chunks. I finished watching it, as you do, but I will never watch it again. I don't enjoy it - never will - ever....
Oh, and another (first time) director that needs to quit while he's sort-of ahead is Phil Tippet. Starship Troopers rocked baby. Sure it started slow. What film doesn't? Starship Troopers 2 was such a let down though. More of a teeny horror flick than a Starship Troopers sequel. It was classic TV movie direction by Phil. Everyone has to start somewhere, but why a potential blockbuster like ST2?..


"We've secretly replaced this deadites' brain with a chainsaw, ssshhh..let's see if he notices.."

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"More success than most, but not as much as some.."

let them live!!!!!!

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We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

...as if we were arranging a hit?
I know I couldn't direct a movie but that doesn't mean I can't have favorites or loathing. We are the audiance. We have the power to approve or disapprove. There is no other reason movies exisist but to be seen. I am the one who sees...all hail the VIEWER.

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Ya got me feelin' hella good so let's just keep on dancin'

Soderberg gets the axe from me, too. I loved Sex, Lies and Videotape and what he did with Kafka was really cool, but since then it's been a steady slide. : /

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

I don't like Soderberg because he's friends with Julia and anyone who's a friend of her is no friend of mine.
Off with his head!

hahaha! If Julia Roberts ever comes up missing, you'd better be deleting these little rants, lady. You're going to be going downtown in a hurry.

She's laid up in a hospital bed trying not to go into premature labor...then, when it's time...she's having twins. I don't think Julia is going to be bothering me anytime soon...heh heh.

People assume they've been born with this inherent right to trash anything they don't like. Unless you're able to do better, I wouldn't complain. Although.. if you go back and look at my posts you'll find my comment very hypocritical. Let me re-state this, saying a movie sucks is one thing. I'm sure directors watch a movie they've made and think, oh man, this sucks. But to say they deserve to die, even metaphoricly, is a little strong. Actually,.. I'm an idiot and just wanted an excuse to show off some of my awesome film terminology. Sorry.

The guy that directed Cecil B Demented (spelling?) should be thrown off a cliff in a burning bus with along with every master of his films so that the generational loss will eventually take care of his movies.

Not only do I find this line very confessional, but also hillarious.

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The novelist does not long to see the lion eat grass. He realizes that one and the same God created the wolf and the lamb, then smiled, "seeing that his work was good".

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They had temporarily escaped the factories, the warehouses, the slaughterhouses, the car washes - they'd be back in captivity the next day but now they were out - they were wild with freedom. They weren't thinking about the slavery of poverty. Or the slavery of welfare and food stamps. The rest of us would be all right until the poor learned how to make atom bombs in their basements.

I have no idea what to make of this post. You need medicine.

Stephen Spielburg. I would so pwn him. Ever since Schindler's list, his films have sucked ass, BIG TIME!

Also, with the killing off of Stephen, we would also get less and less films starring Tom Hanks, considering he's in so many Spielburg films. And this is also a good thing.

Bullet + Spielburg= No Spielburg, less Hanks, and many a happy person.

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I'm not wearing any pants...

Joel Shumacher and John Woo.

Joel Schumacher has crossed my mind too, but his movies are kind of interesting to study. He's trying really hard to be some kind of liberal crusador but ends up somewhere else completely. But that's just my opinion and I wouldn't shoot the guy.

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

I totally forgot about this topic..........If I had to kill a director I would kill Paul Anderson

Interesting choice. Is it because everyone thinks he's so different when in fact he's about as Hollywood a director as you can find? Or some lamer reason?

Never mind, I thought you were referring to Paul Thomas Anderson.