Yellow Sky   5/28/20
by Captain Spaulding
Don't get me wrong: Yellow Sky is a good movie and it's certainly worthwhile for fans of the genre; but fair or not, last impressions are strongest impressions.

Lust in the Dust   5/07/20
by Captain Spaulding
The mere presence of cult icon Divine is enough to misconceive viewers into thinking that this western spoof is the work of John Waters -- a misconception likely bolstered by the appearance of Polyester co-star Tab Hunter.

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father   4/13/20
by Captain Spaulding
I do think that the film's unbridled anger toward the failed justice system elevates the last portion of the film into an impassioned cry for reform, which I'm happy to read was successful.

The Illusionist   4/07/20
by Captain Spaulding
If the original script for The Illusionist was penned as a love letter to Tati's estranged daughter, The Illusionist itself is clearly created as a love letter to Tati as a filmmaker.

Pépé le Moko   4/02/20
by Captain Spaulding
I assume the Hays Code didn't apply to foreign films, so it was refreshing to watch a 1937 film that wasn't bogged down with heavy-handed morality, as P le Moko glorifies its gangsters while painting the police as mostly incompetent.

The Sound of Music   3/24/20
by Captain Spaulding
I always try to keep an open mind, no matter how far a film falls outside my comfort zone, but I was bracing myself for an arduous journey within the first five minutes, as I watched Julie Andrews sway in hills that are alive with music, thinking to myself that it's a good thing those hills don't have ears or there'd be some Hills Have Eyes-style carnage about to ensue.

Leprechaun: Origins   3/17/20
by Captain Spaulding
Origins is built entirely of tropes and clich There's not a single moment in this film that doesn't feel recycled from a thousand slashers and creature-features to come before it, making every story beat boringly predictable, every character wearisomely familiar.

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood   3/13/20
by Captain Spaulding
The story --- a group of friends incur the leprechaun's wrath after taking his precious gold -- is the template of every Leprechaun movie, but the lack of ludicrous embellishments and side-plots makes this version feel shockingly simple compared to previous entries.

Leprechaun in the Hood   3/12/20
by Captain Spaulding
Instead of Leprechaun: Blaxploitation Edition, the hypothetical version I'd hoped to watch, we get what feels like the nineteenth sequel to Friday, a lazy comedy about three aspiring rappers and their misadventures with a magical flute.

Leprechaun 4: In Space   3/10/20
by Captain Spaulding
(No mention of the "sneeze once, sneeze twice, she'll become my bride if she sneezes thrice" bullsh*t from the second film, as either this iteration of the leprechaun prefers relationships that are more consensual, or continuity is an abstract concept.)

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