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Deja Vu (2006, Tony Bloody Scott)

1.5/5

Good grief.

While The Geordie Michael Bay's previous couple of films have included some of the most unnecessary editing tricks, lens filters and camera flourishes ever to have been forced on a cinema audience, the less restrained member of the Scott family must have thought that all his birthdays had come at once when presented with a film where all this widdly sh*t is supposedly central to the plot.

I'll not go into details, save for mentioning that it looks exactly the same (when the film is 'in character', to save on spoilers) as the very-poor-but-marginally-saved-by-Denzel's-performance Man On Fire and the truly dreadful Domino with the addition of something that Scott and his array of computer boffins (I doubt if the baseball-capped Ad Man considers that he needs a crew any more, he'll just trawl the local IT College for the brightest graduates) call 'toffee'.

'Toffee' is quite apt, really, as the effect is a sticky mess that will surely cause things to rot if exposed to on a regular basis. (Sorry )

Anyway, back to the movie (I hear you yawn). Denzel is as handsome and charismatic as only the best Movie Star of his generation (copyright: Me ) can be, but we've seen him play this sort of character a lot recently. Hopefully his next outing with the more talented Scott brother (American Gangster) will extend him a bit more.

It was strange seeing Val Kilmer in what I thought was a fat suit but then it dawned on me that the ex-pretty boy has become remarkably jowly in recent films. A bit of a nothing performance in a bit of a nothing role, really. On the plus side, Paula Patton is incredibly pretty...

I sat through Deja Vu til the end, laughing out loud in places at the plot and grimacing at the camerawork, and when the credits began to roll I thought to myself:

Has Jerry Bruckheimer become even more excessive since the death of his coke-fuelled cartoonish sidekick Don Simpson?

To sum things up in an annoyingly glib fashion, if I may, I'll merely say that Deja Vu is Primer for arsewits...



Denzel sits pensively and wonders whether to sack his agent...