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Halloween II

Halloween II
Horror Slasher / English / 1981

I guess I was just curious how a sequel could shake out.

You ever wonder what happened during the events of Halloween? What's that? You've seen that movie? No, I mean do you ever wonder what happened on Halloween night in Halloween? No?

Oh, I see how you might misunderstand, you see Halloween only presents the events of the beginning of Halloween night, you didn't see the whole night, right? So yeah, whereas the previous movie covers the whole day, Halloween 2 covers the rest of the night where Myers continues his murderous rampage and finds Laurie Strode in the hospital.

I really don't know how necessarily all of this was, our only takeaways at the end of the day are:

1.) Laurie is Michael's sister.
2.) Michael Myers is dead.
3.) Michael Myers can't die.

Laurie's role is to be pretty much a potato through 70% of the movie up until the moment she realizes Myers has found her in the hospital. Thankfully, rather than pull a Friday the 13th on us, the rest of the cast is on the hunt for the masked serial killer.

This results almost immediately in the one of the first and funniest deaths of the whole movie: A police officer mowing down a child in their cruiser, slamming them into a van, and EXPLODING.

Never mind that it was a drunk teenager wearing a mask that gives him tunnel vision, that officer was speeding through a suburban neighborhood looking to kill some kids.

The police and security are pretty much a showcase of ineptitude throughout the movie. We get an unarmed security guard who irresponsibly hands his walkie talkie off to a nurse and blatantly refuses to explain how it works, resulting in preventable deaths. We get a sheriff who repeatedly gets within stabbing reach of a supposedly dead Myers who is plainly still armed and makes no attempt to disarm him, basically inviting Michael to tear his throat open... it's not a great showing by law enforcement in this movie.

Most of the movie surrounds the events at the hospital following Laurie's arrival and it's mostly pretty boring. Speaking of bad showing, our hospital staff are made to look pretty shitty too, literally sneaking off during work, while they have patients, to have hottub sex which the hospital has for some reason. Naturally they die, but why must it always come to this? Why can't people keep their **** to themselves for one horror movie? At least you'd have a decent shot at surviving...

Maybe, I dunno, Michael really does kill like 90% of the cast in this movie.

Although they don't do themselves any favors either, there's literally a scene where one of the hard-up paramedics discovers a body bled out on the floor and with no provocation slips in the blood and knocks themselves out.

This is literally ATM level slapstick. You remember ATM? That awful slasher movie about a killer who spooks some randos into trapping themselves in an ATM booth, lights a fire inside, gets them to climb up on top of one another to set off the fire sprinkler, and in that moment of glorious victory dunks themselves headfirst into a countertop.

Nothing has ever beat that in my mind, not even the girl from the Another anime who inexplicably impales themselves Final Destination style on their own umbrella. One way or another, when you're talking about a horror setting where it's already somebody else's job to kill you and you manage to kill yourself by tripping over your own two feet? Man there's something special about that.

Not too much special about this movie though. It was mostly pretty boring, I don't get anything out of seeing innocent people graphically slaughtered because I'm not a twisted freak.

One little point of credit I'll give this movie though, Mr. Sandman is a solid track inclusion. As Gremlins can attest, there's something about repurposing pleasant-sounding 50s tunes and presenting them in a far more sinister context that never gets old.

Final Verdict: