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Yo-Rhad - Un amico dallo spazio

Today, I'm only gonna write one review, and it's a very rare movie that I was looking for due to its connection with a total crapfest known as Titanic: The Legend Goes On, which at the time of writing this review is one of my two nominations for the second Hall of Infamy: same director. And I couldn't find it until today.

Yo-Rhad and the Astromavericks
(2006) - Directed by Camillo Teti
Alien / Adventure / Children's
"Papa zoom!

Camillo Teti is the one responsible for the travesty known as Titanic: The Legend Goes On, and you'd think after the first time he'd learn. Nerp. Lemme go over this as quickly as possible.

Jason loves space stuff, and he and his scientist grandfather wanna find real aliens, right? Well his mom finds a weird rock she thinks is Jason's, and this rock has the power to teleport people. Jason goes to an alien-infested meteor and meets Yo-Rhad, a kid who tells Jason the meteor's headed towards Earth, and that Earthlings are planning on blowing up the meteor for obstructing their view of Venus.

So now Jason has to bring Yo-Rhad to Earth, and hide him while he and his grandfather find a way to save Earth before an obviously evil alien decides to destroy humans first instead because why the **** not, Teti-boy?

OK, so our plot is completely thrown together from plenty of other kid-meets-alien movies, including the glowing rocks. And does the plot ever go anywhere? Not really. Half the movie is meeting random underdeveloped characters while trying to find different places to hide our alien from the public, and most notably, a couple of bullies, one pretending to be tough and another just being stupid. They're such terrible characters that they make Bulk and Skull look like role models.

And OH MY GOD this is the worst voice acting on the planet. If you were ever embarrassed by the voice acting of Dora the Explorer, or by minor characters from 4Kids shows, you got it easy. None of it is convincing in the slightest. I mean, our main character Jason could;ve been played by an actual kid and it would've been better acting. I'm certain this was yet another woman pretending to be a kid, and that's not a problem in general (the world would be incomplete without Pamela Adlon). But this woman clearly didn't have any training. She was cheap and easy to pay. Bottom line, like everyone else here. Nobody puts any heart into their performances, and most voices are so annoying that the movie was painful to hear.

And the animation somehow manages to be worse than Titanic: The Legend Goes On. I almost prefer the plethora of knockoff Disney characters and subplots than this one plot that has absolutely no quality overall. The aliens are ass ugly knockoffs of E.T. blended with some Toad Patrol cuteness with the cuteness sucked out. Seriously. Take this adorable piece.

Add some E.T. and we get this.

"Uuuuuuuuglyyyyyyy." - Patrick Star

And these kids that are supposed to be aiding Jason on his little adventure have no development, that tiny mention about Yo-Rhad's mother being the queen of the aliens (oh, like it qualifies as a spoiler?) means absolutely nothing, the villain makes like four appearances and all he does is scream with another terrible voice actor. And his "still evil" plot twist doesn't do anything for the movie, like most of the plot points.

Well, I didn't think Camillo Teti would make something worse than Titanic: The Legend Goes On, but he did. At least his Titanic mockbuster tried to be something. This is nothing but a cheap cash grab made with nothing but the ideals of how to save money on something most people wouldn't buy. This is nothing but a joke.