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Heartbreak High
What we have here is a high school sports movie aimlessly wandering about the personal and sexual lives of two football teams before the final game of the season. This movie explores several one-sided characters, including an aggressive but skillful coach who has a longstanding relationship with a pair of underpants, his rival who likes to make football puns during sex, a girl who wants to abstain herself from sexual relations and a bunch of high school football jocks messing around with a bunch of high school girls who suggest strip poker to pass the time.
Does this movie really add anything to the sports movie catalog? Nerp. It was a sorry and messy excuse of a movie that only made me chuckle once. Every freakin' character was a cardboard cutout of characters either from other sports movies or from children's cartoons. The character Pigger, who only speaks in pig grunts, is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen in an adult film, and that sorry excuse of an idea belongs in some crap like the 2016 Ben 10. And these sex jokes and plot lines are so derivative that parts of me almost aches just watching it. I found myself drifting onto hanging out on my phone constantly during the third act when the actual football game took place. The football action was so poorly filmed and dull compared to actual football games, and I'm a little bit of a football fan.
This is officially one of the worst sports movies I've ever seen. The only other one that's worse that I can think of right now is BR Futebol from Brazil, and that was a crappy CGI one. Everything about this movie is unjustifiable, save the potential charm a high school jock may get from going back to the gridiron glory days, much like high school films like Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Dazed and Confused except they did it so well that they probably deserve their cult status despite being a little overrated.
What we have here is a high school sports movie aimlessly wandering about the personal and sexual lives of two football teams before the final game of the season. This movie explores several one-sided characters, including an aggressive but skillful coach who has a longstanding relationship with a pair of underpants, his rival who likes to make football puns during sex, a girl who wants to abstain herself from sexual relations and a bunch of high school football jocks messing around with a bunch of high school girls who suggest strip poker to pass the time.
Does this movie really add anything to the sports movie catalog? Nerp. It was a sorry and messy excuse of a movie that only made me chuckle once. Every freakin' character was a cardboard cutout of characters either from other sports movies or from children's cartoons. The character Pigger, who only speaks in pig grunts, is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen in an adult film, and that sorry excuse of an idea belongs in some crap like the 2016 Ben 10. And these sex jokes and plot lines are so derivative that parts of me almost aches just watching it. I found myself drifting onto hanging out on my phone constantly during the third act when the actual football game took place. The football action was so poorly filmed and dull compared to actual football games, and I'm a little bit of a football fan.
This is officially one of the worst sports movies I've ever seen. The only other one that's worse that I can think of right now is BR Futebol from Brazil, and that was a crappy CGI one. Everything about this movie is unjustifiable, save the potential charm a high school jock may get from going back to the gridiron glory days, much like high school films like Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Dazed and Confused except they did it so well that they probably deserve their cult status despite being a little overrated.