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Fender Bender, 2016
Hilary (Makenzie Vega) is having a bad day. Her boyfriend, Andy (Harrison Sim) is cheating on her. On her way home she is rear-ended while stopped at a stop sign, exchanging information with the driver (Bill Sage) of the other vehicle. Because of the accident, her parents decide she will not accompany them on a weekend trip. Unfortunately for Hilary, the driver who hit her is a serial killer who preys on those whose information he acquires.
Yelling at the screen as characters make stupid, life-ending decisions is a tradition for many a horror fan. But there's a big difference between the energy of Oh no! Don't go in there! and Wow! Why?! Why are you all too stupid to live?!?!?!?.
Taken on their own, each individual choice in this film could probably be explained away. Like parents deciding that because a child was irresponsible . . . that child will now spend the weekend alone? Or someone seeing that someone was in their house and took pictures of them in the shower and NOT calling 911? Or having the opportunity to run from or even maybe finish off an assailant but instead just . . . standing around and waiting?
Horror movies are no fun when they have to work so hard to get the killing to happen, and this movie throws one idiocy after another at the viewer. By the halfway point I was completely fed up. At one point, Hilary turns to Erik and Rachel and is like "So someone broke into the house just now, took pictures of me in the shower on my own phone, and deleted all of my pictures of the accident I was in. Was that you guys? Are you pranking me?" I mean, can you even with this?!
And the problem is that not only are the victims total write-offs---Hilary is joined by friends Erik (Kelsey Leos Montoya) and Rachel (Dre Davis) to up the body count--but the killer is also woefully underdeveloped.
Look, have ya'll seen Mysterious Skin? Bill Sage is a good actor! He can convey menace very well (and does so in the one short scene he shares with Hilary). So naturally he's kept off camera in the form of text messages on the world's fakest looking texting app OR he's silently stalking the teens while wearing a mask. It's such a waste of a resource. I'm sure the silent killer was scripted before Sage was cast, but come on!
The premise, while naturally very flawed if you think about it, is at least decently scary. But it can't matter with idiots like this as our protagonists. And the film has the gall to end on not only a really sour note, but also to put this long monologue at the end to really drive home the point. Are the kills good? Nope. Just very standard stabbed-by-killer deaths.
What a waste of time.
Fender Bender, 2016
Hilary (Makenzie Vega) is having a bad day. Her boyfriend, Andy (Harrison Sim) is cheating on her. On her way home she is rear-ended while stopped at a stop sign, exchanging information with the driver (Bill Sage) of the other vehicle. Because of the accident, her parents decide she will not accompany them on a weekend trip. Unfortunately for Hilary, the driver who hit her is a serial killer who preys on those whose information he acquires.
Yelling at the screen as characters make stupid, life-ending decisions is a tradition for many a horror fan. But there's a big difference between the energy of Oh no! Don't go in there! and Wow! Why?! Why are you all too stupid to live?!?!?!?.
Taken on their own, each individual choice in this film could probably be explained away. Like parents deciding that because a child was irresponsible . . . that child will now spend the weekend alone? Or someone seeing that someone was in their house and took pictures of them in the shower and NOT calling 911? Or having the opportunity to run from or even maybe finish off an assailant but instead just . . . standing around and waiting?
Horror movies are no fun when they have to work so hard to get the killing to happen, and this movie throws one idiocy after another at the viewer. By the halfway point I was completely fed up. At one point, Hilary turns to Erik and Rachel and is like "So someone broke into the house just now, took pictures of me in the shower on my own phone, and deleted all of my pictures of the accident I was in. Was that you guys? Are you pranking me?" I mean, can you even with this?!
And the problem is that not only are the victims total write-offs---Hilary is joined by friends Erik (Kelsey Leos Montoya) and Rachel (Dre Davis) to up the body count--but the killer is also woefully underdeveloped.
Look, have ya'll seen Mysterious Skin? Bill Sage is a good actor! He can convey menace very well (and does so in the one short scene he shares with Hilary). So naturally he's kept off camera in the form of text messages on the world's fakest looking texting app OR he's silently stalking the teens while wearing a mask. It's such a waste of a resource. I'm sure the silent killer was scripted before Sage was cast, but come on!
The premise, while naturally very flawed if you think about it, is at least decently scary. But it can't matter with idiots like this as our protagonists. And the film has the gall to end on not only a really sour note, but also to put this long monologue at the end to really drive home the point. Are the kills good? Nope. Just very standard stabbed-by-killer deaths.
What a waste of time.