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Dina, 2017
This documentary follows a middle aged woman named Dina Buno as she pursues love and marriage with a man named Scott. Both Dina and Scott seem to be somewhere on the Autism spectrum, and in addition to trying to discover if they are truly compatible, echoes of Dina's former marriage hang over the relationship.
I always get a little emotional seeing adults with disabilities navigate the "real world". When I look at my students with disabilities, I always worry that the world will not treat them kindly or understand their brilliance. Watching someone like Dina go about her life was both relieving and anxiety producing. On one hand, it was really neat to see her assert her desires in terms of love, sex, affection, and relationship boundaries. On the other hand, you see those moments where she struggles to connect and communicate, and the frustration she experiences.
Showing the life of someone who is not neurotypical can really land in a negative place, where it feels like the film is inviting you to laugh at the person on screen. For the most part that is not how I felt. There were parts where I did laugh, but that comes more out of the contrast between Dina's understanding of appropriate behavior and what most people would consider appropriate. In the scene pictured at the top of this review, Dina matter-of-factly reads to her fiance Scott about sexual strategies for stronger ejaculation----and then a reverse camera shot shows us that a mother and two children are sitting on the bench just ahead of them.
The film offers a really balanced look at Dina and Scott's relationship. Scott is uninterested in sex (and possibly asexual?), and Dina very much wants a physical relationship. Dina frets about making Scott feel bad for the way he is, and Scott wants to make Dina happy, but clearly wanting physical touch doesn't come naturally to him. It is a sweet but also painful look at a couple that loves each other, and yet are grappling with what would be an insurmountable obstacle for some people.
I did have one issue with the film, and that has to do with information that is revealed at almost the very end of the film regarding a trauma in Dina's past. On one hand, this reveal is effective in the sense that it was like a gut-punch. I can honestly say it is one of the worst things I have ever heard in a documentary, and part of that is because of how unexpected it was. But on the other hand, this information about Dina is really critical to understanding her behavior as not just someone who isn't neurotypical, but also as someone who is suffering from a really serious trauma. It totally reframes so many of her actions, and I found myself a bit annoyed that you would almost have to rewatch the whole movie to really grasp what is happening in different moments.
Overall this was an interesting and compassionate look at someone whose though process and behavior might not fit the norm, but who just wants the same things that so many people do.
Dina, 2017
This documentary follows a middle aged woman named Dina Buno as she pursues love and marriage with a man named Scott. Both Dina and Scott seem to be somewhere on the Autism spectrum, and in addition to trying to discover if they are truly compatible, echoes of Dina's former marriage hang over the relationship.
I always get a little emotional seeing adults with disabilities navigate the "real world". When I look at my students with disabilities, I always worry that the world will not treat them kindly or understand their brilliance. Watching someone like Dina go about her life was both relieving and anxiety producing. On one hand, it was really neat to see her assert her desires in terms of love, sex, affection, and relationship boundaries. On the other hand, you see those moments where she struggles to connect and communicate, and the frustration she experiences.
Showing the life of someone who is not neurotypical can really land in a negative place, where it feels like the film is inviting you to laugh at the person on screen. For the most part that is not how I felt. There were parts where I did laugh, but that comes more out of the contrast between Dina's understanding of appropriate behavior and what most people would consider appropriate. In the scene pictured at the top of this review, Dina matter-of-factly reads to her fiance Scott about sexual strategies for stronger ejaculation----and then a reverse camera shot shows us that a mother and two children are sitting on the bench just ahead of them.
The film offers a really balanced look at Dina and Scott's relationship. Scott is uninterested in sex (and possibly asexual?), and Dina very much wants a physical relationship. Dina frets about making Scott feel bad for the way he is, and Scott wants to make Dina happy, but clearly wanting physical touch doesn't come naturally to him. It is a sweet but also painful look at a couple that loves each other, and yet are grappling with what would be an insurmountable obstacle for some people.
I did have one issue with the film, and that has to do with information that is revealed at almost the very end of the film regarding a trauma in Dina's past. On one hand, this reveal is effective in the sense that it was like a gut-punch. I can honestly say it is one of the worst things I have ever heard in a documentary, and part of that is because of how unexpected it was. But on the other hand, this information about Dina is really critical to understanding her behavior as not just someone who isn't neurotypical, but also as someone who is suffering from a really serious trauma. It totally reframes so many of her actions, and I found myself a bit annoyed that you would almost have to rewatch the whole movie to really grasp what is happening in different moments.
Overall this was an interesting and compassionate look at someone whose though process and behavior might not fit the norm, but who just wants the same things that so many people do.