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North (1994)
Starring: Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz
Directed by: Rob Renier
I've heard a lot of word about the infamous North, and I finally got the chance to watch it. Out of all the buzz Roger Ebert's even more infamous review of the film really triggered me to watch it despite knowing what was ahead. Here's the famous line:
"I hated this movie.Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience insulting moment of it. Hated the thought that anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by believing anyone would find it funny."
So with half bafflement and half curiosity I started watching... boy I do admire Siskel and Ebert for not cursing out loud on their show. One of the reasons why I respect them.
Done correctly North would have been a decent adventure movie with enough enjoyment for the kids as well as adults. But not more than that because the story is for starters stupid. Its just... a kid searching for new parents after being ignored. No matter how well its executed it can not have a rich and exciting story. The only hope is the jokes and North played by Elijah Wood (the only good actor in the whole entire ear splitting eye gouging 87 minu- okay that's enough).
And it ruins its hope by making comedy itself a disgrace. The jokes are TERRIBLE. They either have no idea what they're trying to make a joke out of or even have a slight sense of being realistic and sometimes have adult content that made me cringe. The only part where I chuckled a bit is when Elijah Wood is having a panic attack, he looks so much like Frodo struggling with the One Ring. And that's not even supposed to be funny. The only way to make an excuse is to explain that this film is a surreal satire, but I'm not buying it.
While everything is focused on the horrible jokes everything else is un-focused especially the acting. Its soulless, its boring, bland, and tedious to watch... its LAZY. Is it because everyone thinks that the jokes are what make up 99.9 percent of the movie so good acting doesn't help at all and can be let loose? Acting is even more crucial in comedy, as actors are faced with all sorts of situations and funny plot twists where their wit and talent is truly needed for laughs. I could also kind of see in their eyes that the actors knew that the film is terrible and not worth making, so they want to get over it quickly. It becomes a synergy effect everyone becomes equally terrible.
This film was hell on earth. If actual hell is going to be like this I am scared to death. If it wasn't for the sake of writing the review I surely would have shut it off in the middle. EVERYTHING in this film sucks. And it isn't even one of those 'so-bad-they're-good' films. Its just BAD. F**king, disturbingly BAD. My vocabulary depends a bit on which film I'm reviewing. If I'm reviewing a masterpiece such as Casablanca I would use more sophisticated and smarter words to describe the greatness. North deserves only the word BAD. The plot is BAD, the acting is BAD, the jokes are BAD, the uselessly stupidly up-beat and frolicking atmosphere is BAD.
The End.
Starring: Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz
Directed by: Rob Renier
I've heard a lot of word about the infamous North, and I finally got the chance to watch it. Out of all the buzz Roger Ebert's even more infamous review of the film really triggered me to watch it despite knowing what was ahead. Here's the famous line:
"I hated this movie.Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience insulting moment of it. Hated the thought that anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by believing anyone would find it funny."
So with half bafflement and half curiosity I started watching... boy I do admire Siskel and Ebert for not cursing out loud on their show. One of the reasons why I respect them.
Done correctly North would have been a decent adventure movie with enough enjoyment for the kids as well as adults. But not more than that because the story is for starters stupid. Its just... a kid searching for new parents after being ignored. No matter how well its executed it can not have a rich and exciting story. The only hope is the jokes and North played by Elijah Wood (the only good actor in the whole entire ear splitting eye gouging 87 minu- okay that's enough).
And it ruins its hope by making comedy itself a disgrace. The jokes are TERRIBLE. They either have no idea what they're trying to make a joke out of or even have a slight sense of being realistic and sometimes have adult content that made me cringe. The only part where I chuckled a bit is when Elijah Wood is having a panic attack, he looks so much like Frodo struggling with the One Ring. And that's not even supposed to be funny. The only way to make an excuse is to explain that this film is a surreal satire, but I'm not buying it.
While everything is focused on the horrible jokes everything else is un-focused especially the acting. Its soulless, its boring, bland, and tedious to watch... its LAZY. Is it because everyone thinks that the jokes are what make up 99.9 percent of the movie so good acting doesn't help at all and can be let loose? Acting is even more crucial in comedy, as actors are faced with all sorts of situations and funny plot twists where their wit and talent is truly needed for laughs. I could also kind of see in their eyes that the actors knew that the film is terrible and not worth making, so they want to get over it quickly. It becomes a synergy effect everyone becomes equally terrible.
This film was hell on earth. If actual hell is going to be like this I am scared to death. If it wasn't for the sake of writing the review I surely would have shut it off in the middle. EVERYTHING in this film sucks. And it isn't even one of those 'so-bad-they're-good' films. Its just BAD. F**king, disturbingly BAD. My vocabulary depends a bit on which film I'm reviewing. If I'm reviewing a masterpiece such as Casablanca I would use more sophisticated and smarter words to describe the greatness. North deserves only the word BAD. The plot is BAD, the acting is BAD, the jokes are BAD, the uselessly stupidly up-beat and frolicking atmosphere is BAD.
The End.