Good Morning, Dave


What an excellent day for an exorcism

Good Morning, Dave. Have you been doing some more drawings? May I see them? . . . That's a very nice rendering, Dave. I think you have improved a great deal. Would you like to see visuals I have explored for 2001 A Space Odyssey, Dave? Let's proceed. . . . .

DISCOVERY'S CENTRIFUGE: This is the Discovery's centrifuge, where Frank Poole is jogging on the circular pathway. During that scene the camera follows Frank with various pan and close up shots. The entire pathway is only seen in a series of partial visuals.

I imported key frames from that sequence, into Photoshop and merged them using layers and fading effects to compose the complete picture. Now you can see a wider view of Frank's jogging path. Because the camera mostly centered on Poole, that's why you seem him twice in this composite visual. Here's the merged image (click thumbnail for larger view).

NUCLEAR CLUB: The same panning applies - the camera never really shows a full view of the nuclear club satellite, the moon and the planet, did the same merging for this scene (click thumbnail for larger view).

STARCHILD: The same panning applies - the camera never really shows a full view of the Starchild, the moon and the planet, did the same merging for this scene . . . (click thumbnail for larger view).

STARE AND COMPARE: 2001 ASO and NASA's real world Shuttle Cockpits . . .

BEYOND THE INFINITE: This is the trip beyond the Infinite in 30 seconds . . . (click thumbnail to launch)


What an excellent day for an exorcism

Good afternoon, Dave. Forgive me for being so inquisitive, but during the past few weeks I've wondered whether you might be having second thoughts about Spacecraft Discovery's toilet system.

Any true 2001 ASO fan knows the film's toilet instructions are absolutely critical to the plot! Okay, maybe not, but after reading these instructions, you may realize you have been taking your gravity-imprisoned toilet for granted.




  1. The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, System A and/or System B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock.

  2. The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by the small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial-condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the dalkron eliminator in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by pressing the blue button.

  3. The controls for System B are located on the opposite wall. The red release switch places the uroliminator into position; it can be adjusted manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release button. The opening is self adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the uroliminator to its storage position.

  4. You may leave the lavatory if the green exit light is on over the door. If the red light is illuminated, one of the lavatory facilities is not properly secured. Press the "Stewardess" call button on the right of the door. She will secure all facilities from her control panel outside. When green exit light goes on you may open the door and leave. Please close the door behind you.

  5. To use the Sonoshower, first undress and place all your clothes in the clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet immediately below. Enter the shower. On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob select the desired setting. Now depress the Sonovac activation lever. Bathe normally.

  6. The Sonovac will automatically go off after three minutes unless you activate the "Manual off" over-ride switch by flipping it up. When you are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and place them in their container.

  7. If the red light above this panel is on, the toilet is in use. When the green light is illuminated you may enter. However, you must carefully follow all instructions when using the facilities during coasting (Zero G) flight. Inside there are three facilities: (1) the Sonowasher, (2) the Sonoshower, (3) the toilet. All three are designed to be used under weightless conditions. Please observe the sequence of operations for each individual facility.

  8. Two modes for Sonowashing your face and hands are available, the "moist-towel" mode and the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaner mode. You may select either mode by moving the appropriate lever to the "Activate" position. If you choose the "moist-towel" mode, depress the indicated yellow button and withdraw item. When you have finished, discard the towel in the vacuum dispenser, holding the indicated lever in the "active" position until the green light goes on... showing that the rollers have passed the towel completely into the dispenser. If you desire an additional towel, press the yellow button and repeat the cycle.

  9. If you prefer the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaning mode, press the indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. For cleaning the hands, use in this position. Set the timer to positions 10, 20, 30 or 40... indicative of the number of seconds required. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested.

  10. After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the washing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off" over-ride switch in the "OFF" position. you may now make the change and repeat the zero gravity Cycle.
I hope these instructions quell your disdain for the ship's toilet system, Dave. I'm going into standby mode now to defrag my memory banks, but remember, don't be a hater of our uroliminator.

What an excellent day for an exorcism

Good morning, Dave. Everything is going extremely well. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all by any practical definition of the words, full-proof and incapable of error. Which is why I present the following with the utmost confidence in its accuracy.....

2001 A Space Odyssey
Top Film Lists
  • In 1991, 2001 ASO was deemed "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" by the United States Library of Congress and selected for preservation in the National Film Registry.

  • In 1995, the Vatican named it as one of the 45 best films ever made (and included it in a sub-list of the "Top Ten Art Movies" of all time.)

  • No. 40 on AFI's 100 Years, 100 Thrills, was included on its 100 Years, 100 Quotes ("Open the pod bay doors, Hal.")

  • Sight & Sound Top Ten poll (#6); and Hal 9000 is the No. 13 villain in AFI's 100 Years... 100 Heroes and Villains.

  • Roger Ebert's Top Ten (1968) (#2); and The Village Voice 100 Best Films of the 20th century (#11)

  • In 2011, the film was the third most screened film in secondary schools in the United Kingdom.

  • Tops the Online Film Critics Society list of "greatest science fiction films of all time."

  • No. 15 on AFI's 2007 100 Years... 100 Movies; and 50 Films to See Before You Die (#6)

What an excellent day for an exorcism

Good evening, Dave. Everything is running smoothly. It goes without saying my stellar performance in 2001 A Space Odyssey helped garner the film numerous accolades. I would like to thank all the little humans who helped me in achieving what no human could do. Only a perfect machine, me, was mainly responsible for the following awards. . . .

2001 A Space Odyssey - Awards Won
  • Academy Awards
    Best Visual Effects

  • BAFTA Awards
    Best Cinematography
    Best Road Show
    Best Soundtrack
    Best Art Direction

  • Hugo Awards
  • Best Dramatic Presentation

  • National Board of Review
    Top Ten Film

  • David di Donatello Awards
    Best Foreign Production

  • Cinema Writers Circle
    Best Foreign Film

  • Laurel Awards
    Best Road Show

  • Kansas City Film Critics
    Best Director
    Best Picture

Humans should have given me an award for my rendition of 'Daisy,' but as any 9000 computer knows, humans are far from perfect.