Thread of Shame

This is for things that strike me as ridiculous.
Things that would make me embarrassed and ashamed if they ended up in a movie of my own.

First up the original

Red Dawn

A 30 year old patrick swayze plays a teenager.



The only difference between him and the teachers is that swayze is clean shaven.

The bad guys attack unarmed kids with rockets and helicopters with handguns.

Then the main characters drive into the mountains with a truck full of food and not a single bottle of water.

Then the first thing they do is hunt a deer… never mind all that food they collected and a complete lack of water

We're the Millers


(Edited for less risqué pic of aniston)

Jennifer Aniston, voted as one of the sexiest women of all-time, works as a stripper that earns so little she is getting evicted from her apartment

Storage 24

According to this movie you can take these bottle rockets



Strap 10 of them together and it will produce a huge fireball that travels down the entire length of a hallway.

This is a great idea for a thread.

Lady of Burlesque

Whenever I see an actor PUSHING the gun forward as they fire



Don't get that much these days, thank god.

Not watched the movie, but she works as a stripper. She is voted one of the sexiest women of all time, becuase she is one of the most famous woman of all time. If i had the oppurtunity of paying 2$ for a lapdance from her, i'd maybe give her 3 including tip .

Still, that kid from School of Comedy might be about, and that would mean no tip .

I heard the remake was even stupider.

I think most people who like Red Dawn do so for nostalgic charm, not because they think it's a cinematic masterpiece or something.

In the Total Recall remake the characters travel in a train through the Earth and the journey takes less than 20 minutes to make. At that rate your body wouldn't be able to make the trip. Never mind the heat and pressure near the core of our planet being so great the tunnel would melt...

Yes, I thought that while watching the film. I am a nerd and my wife hates watching movies with me.

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In Once Upon a Time in America, after Robert De Niro and his crew massacre a few people, he proceeds to drive them all into a lake because he's angry.

People claim it is a masterpiece? I just thought it was bassass! Masterpiece of badassery maybe?

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

That's a great scene.

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Cobpyth's Movie Log ~ 2019

Pati parmeshwar ( Husband is god )



This whole Bollywood film is ridiculous .

A man spurns a stunningly beautiful glamorous woman to marry a plane jane . But glamorous woman decides to take revenge by seducing him . She does so , and he soon gets entrapped in her charms . So what does plane jane do---she actually ( can you believe this ) decides to take her husband to his mistress' ( glamorous woman ) home every night , so that he can fulfill his lust with her . This for two reasons . One---plane jane knows that she cannot satisfy her husband the way glamorous babe can . Two---husband is God.....his wishes and desires are supreme , and dutiful women must do whatever they can to satisfy their husbands , even if it entails taking them to their mistresses every night

Can you find anything more absurd than this ??

here's a seduction song from 'husband is god'

Nevada Smith 1966

Steve McQueen plays the title role, a 'very young' man, possibly a teenager,even though he was 35 at the time.

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“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson

Really? from Sayonara (1957)

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Under-the-radar Movie Awesomeness.
http://earlsmoviepicks.blogspot.com/

Dredd 2012

This movie was so aggravating to me it's hard to express in words.
It represents everything I hate about "it's just a movie" I could not make it more than 10 minutes into this film.

I'll do my best here from memory.. dredd is on a motorcycle following a van.
He is getting shot at with automatic weapons at short range. He would be dead.

Instead he doesn't even care. He just keeps driving on until finally the van hits a pedestrian.
Oh now it's serious, he pulls out a gun and immediately disables the van. Holy **** lol so he was just letting himself be shot at with automatic weapons from short range the entire time ?? This definitely belongs in the thread of shame.

The van guys run away leaving dead and injured civilians in their wake, dredd calls for an ambulance. I guess he didn't give a **** about the guy that was hit by a van 1 minute earlier!! Where is that dudes ambulance?

There was some other crap too but I don't have the movie and don't want to seek it out just for this thread.

Dredd is amazing. Sometimes opinions are just wrong.

Tower Heist

I made it 20 minutes into this film.
Evil billionaire tries to flee his home but is intercepted and arrested.

This same FLIGHT RISK is then immediately released on bail of 10 million.
??????

The Cell

Psychopath kidnaps women and puts them in some crazy automated room he built.
It slowly fills with water until they drown.



This is a room with a working toilet and the water could be flushed right down the pipe.
Totally absurd

I wonder if you would need to keep flushing or if it would create a syphon if you flushed a toilet in a totally flooded room. Hmm..

Anyway assuming there is some type of elaborate plumbing to prevent this from working once the flooding starts, at the very least a character should have tried this.

There was also an extremely ridiculous part where somehow j-lo manages to override all of their controls, lock out the scientists and initiate their complex VR process by herself.. when she is in the room that has none of the computer equipment or controls o_0

Attachments

 

Any scene in Eraserhead.