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Too late for the mofi awards, but I'll make an awesome thread anyway 
This is a blog that I wrote a few years ago.
BEHOLD THE FUTURE
Life in the 23rd Century (According to the 5th Element)
The good news is that you can still catch a glipse of the sky, maybe even a star or two on a clear summer night.
The bad news is that the buildings only have a couple of elevators, and the wait time is forever. (but hey, you can always take the stairs!)
Big Brother 2.0
The police force is well-lit and oppresive, but scoff at the notion of safety.
Body armor has made amazing advances, but the police leave their mouths exposed, which is difficult to explain. That seems peculiar indeed, until you notice the giant codpiece these guys are sporting. Go on, check that baby out. Clearly someone here has a fascination with fellatio, and it isn't me. Okay, it could possibly be me, but you have to admit a codpiece like that would fit nicely into any penis's wardrobe.
Computers Still Suck
Even in the future, software design is terrible, and computers are still frustrating to use.
Consider this program, in .5498'th of a second, it can tell you all the details of exactly who you're looking at, or even what building or car.
In spite of this, it cannot tell the difference between Milla Jovovich and a tractor trailor. Press a button for person or vehicle.
Don't expect a touch screen phone
Korben Dallas is talking here on his cordless home phone. It's docking station is in the back corner of the room.
Seriously, he still has a landline. Not a single person uses a cell phone throughout the film, it's the weirdest thing. No ringtones, either.
Chef is no longer an occupation
Delicious food is created and cooked instantly! I recommend the chicken, I hear it's good.
Sadly this doesn't apply to pets, and if you forget to feed your cat it will die.[/quote]
High Fashion
In the future, it's not just the buildings that have gotten taller. Popped collars have risen to new heights as well.
Here we see Mr. Zorg. This guy is ballin so hard, his office literally narrates everything as he eats it. If he gets some water, it says water. If he eats a cherry, it says "A Cherry."
Come to think of it, that's kind of annoying. You don't want to be around this guy when he grabs a bushel of grapes and starts popping them in his mouth one at a time.
Snail Mail Gets an Upgrade
I understand the future can seem mystifying. There are big questions out there, like what will become of the internet?
Fortunately 5th element has answered that question for us. Instead of relying on wireless information technology, such as email, the entire city has built a literal series of tubes. Yes, they use a series of tubes and standardized envelopes to communicate among one another.
Don't Expect a Cell Phone
There is a cord on that phone!! It's attached to the wall. Holy crap, not even the government has cell phones.
Also, I really want to see what a female's cop uniform looks like. Do they still have the codpiece?
Robot Bartenders
This is the only robotic intelligence we see in the entire film.
A robot bartender? The terrifying part comes when you're ready to leave, and he slides out his "breathalyzer" for you to blow into.
This is a blog that I wrote a few years ago.
BEHOLD THE FUTURE
Life in the 23rd Century (According to the 5th Element)
The good news is that you can still catch a glipse of the sky, maybe even a star or two on a clear summer night.
The bad news is that the buildings only have a couple of elevators, and the wait time is forever. (but hey, you can always take the stairs!)
Big Brother 2.0
The police force is well-lit and oppresive, but scoff at the notion of safety.
Body armor has made amazing advances, but the police leave their mouths exposed, which is difficult to explain. That seems peculiar indeed, until you notice the giant codpiece these guys are sporting. Go on, check that baby out. Clearly someone here has a fascination with fellatio, and it isn't me. Okay, it could possibly be me, but you have to admit a codpiece like that would fit nicely into any penis's wardrobe.
Computers Still Suck
Even in the future, software design is terrible, and computers are still frustrating to use.
Consider this program, in .5498'th of a second, it can tell you all the details of exactly who you're looking at, or even what building or car.
In spite of this, it cannot tell the difference between Milla Jovovich and a tractor trailor. Press a button for person or vehicle.
Don't expect a touch screen phone
Korben Dallas is talking here on his cordless home phone. It's docking station is in the back corner of the room.
Seriously, he still has a landline. Not a single person uses a cell phone throughout the film, it's the weirdest thing. No ringtones, either.
Chef is no longer an occupation
Delicious food is created and cooked instantly! I recommend the chicken, I hear it's good.
Sadly this doesn't apply to pets, and if you forget to feed your cat it will die.[/quote]
High Fashion
In the future, it's not just the buildings that have gotten taller. Popped collars have risen to new heights as well.
Here we see Mr. Zorg. This guy is ballin so hard, his office literally narrates everything as he eats it. If he gets some water, it says water. If he eats a cherry, it says "A Cherry."
Come to think of it, that's kind of annoying. You don't want to be around this guy when he grabs a bushel of grapes and starts popping them in his mouth one at a time.
Snail Mail Gets an Upgrade
I understand the future can seem mystifying. There are big questions out there, like what will become of the internet?
Fortunately 5th element has answered that question for us. Instead of relying on wireless information technology, such as email, the entire city has built a literal series of tubes. Yes, they use a series of tubes and standardized envelopes to communicate among one another.
WARNING: "Plot" spoilers below
This is where Korben finds out he was fired by Zorg, which is supposedly a setback. In reality he already lost his license, had his car shot full of holes, and tore the computer out of the dashboard. Actually that would be pretty amazing if he just kept on trying to work as a cabbie the next day.
Don't Expect a Cell Phone
There is a cord on that phone!! It's attached to the wall. Holy crap, not even the government has cell phones.
Also, I really want to see what a female's cop uniform looks like. Do they still have the codpiece?
Robot Bartenders
This is the only robotic intelligence we see in the entire film.
A robot bartender? The terrifying part comes when you're ready to leave, and he slides out his "breathalyzer" for you to blow into.
