Iro's Worst Movies Ever

Why? Well, why not?

#100 - Super Mario Bros.
Annabel Jankel & Rocky Morton, 1993



Back when I was about five or so, this was one of my favourite movies. I give it credit for being a very bombastic failure, complete with Blade Runner sets and Dennis Hopper chewing scenery.

#99 - Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over!
Robert Rodriguez, 2003



I threw this one into my Top 100 for being an astonishingly brilliant guilty pleasure. It's so guilty it had to go on the Bottom 100 too. Cheesy videogame humour, the crappy 3-D CGI, terrible dialogue and Sly Stallone hamming it up (actually, that's kind of awesome) make this terrible.

#98 - Batman and Robin
Joel Schumacher, 1997



No "worst movies" list would be complete without a mention of this bad boy. I lean more towards guilty pleasure amusement than raging fanboy/moviegoer hatred, but there's no denying the movie's camp nature can feel like a slap in the face at times.

#97 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2
Tobe Hooper, 1986



This is probably a lot more awesome than I remember it being, yet any attempts to re-watch it have failed because of the boring set-up and tiresome attempts at black humour.

#96 - Moonwalker
Jerry Kramer, 1988



Another movie that falls just short of being so damned terrible it's awesome. It consists of random vignettes loosely centred on a plot where Michael does battle with evil gangsters led by Joe Pesci via dancing, firing machine-guns, and transforming into machines. Utterly ridiculous.

#95 - The Human Tornado
Cliff Roquemort, 1976



Granted, Dolemite probably deserves this spot more since it's the (slightly) worse movie, but I have to give it to Human Tornado for going totally overboard in telling the story of everybody's favourite fat kung-fu pimp. Crazy stunts (complete with instant replays), Lynchian fantasy sequences, cringe-worthy sex scenes, terrible kung-fu, below-amateur acting - the list of reasons why this movie could be considered terrible just goes on, and on, and on...

#94 - Ratatouille
Brad Bird, 2007



This was such a let-down. A couple of decent moments sprinkled here and there did not help this match Pixar's usually high standard.

#93 - Detroit Rock City
Adam Rifkin, 1999



By all rights I should like this movie about four metalheads have all sorts of misadventures trying to attend a KISS concert. The problem is that it indulges just about every teen comedy cliché without success (to say nothing of the mediocre acting). For what it's worth, the film's got a damned good soundtrack.

#92 - Kindergarten Cop
Ivan Reitman, 1990



Yeah, it's got a handful of funny moments (see above), but they're spread out across a pretty flat movie.

#91 - Doom
Andrzej Bartkowiak, 2005



As if screwing with a game I really like wasn't enough (but then again, when don't they?), it's translated into a fairly dull and predictable Aliens knock-off. At least the first-person sequence was half-decent.

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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

Interesting Idea Iro mate Im looking forward to seeing the rest of your list

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~In the event of a Zombie Uprising, remember to sever the head or destroy the brain!~

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I was figuring you were listing objectively bad films (as you say many are guilty pleasures) and then list Ratatouille which seems a more subjective choice?

Anyway, nice undertaking

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I look forward to the rest, Iro!

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Ratatouille?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! WHA!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


When you're done I'll look at my list again and see how many match up.

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"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have."

Suspect's Reviews

iro probably meant this

Of all the movies on the list, Ratatouille is definitely the one I expected the most backlash from (or at least a lot). It's not so much a bad movie as an extreme disappointment. I know I might be able to pick it up again at some point in the future and actually enjoy it, but damn, it stings just to think about how disappointed I was.

Anyway...

#90 - Hitman
Xavier Gens, 2007



Just another painfully underwhelming videogame adaptation.

#89 - Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Robert Rodriguez, 2003



It's a shame that such a technically competent DIY filmmaker like Rodriguez delivers as many stinkers as he does good movies. His epic conclusion to the El Mariachi trilogy falls apart due to filling the film with dozens upon dozens of badly-developed characters and throwing them together in hopes of generating something far-reaching and epic.

#88 - The Longest Yard
Peter Segal, 2005



There, I've thrown in a Sandler flick, with all the various crap it entails. Basing it on an older (better?) movie takes the edge off, but it's still a hell of a stretch to like it.

#87 - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
David Yates, 2009



I was considering entering all the films into a single space, but I realised that most of the films (just) manage to be bearable enough to stay off this list. Half-Blood Prince gets in for two reasons - it's the last one I watched and it's also seriously weak compared to the other entries, especially given the bulk of the film's screen-time dedicated to crappy subplots.

#86 - Mars Attacks!
Tim Burton, 1996



It's been ages since I watched this all the way through and I'll readily admit that I don't really get it, but this film really doesn't do anything for me. Not even wacked-out cameos and ridiculously shiny CGI come close to saving it.

#85 - Pokémon: The First Movie
Michael Haigney & Kunihiko Yuyama, 1999



This just hasn't been anywhere near as much fun since I grew up.

#84 - Sixteen Candles
John Hughes, 1984



Sacrilege? Maybe. My feelings towards this are best likened to the reception to The Godfather Part III - it isn't really bad per se, but it just pales so very, very badly in comparison to its companion pieces that it looks absolutely terrible. Very disappointing in terms of plot, characterisation, humour - the works.

#83 - High Fidelity
Stephen Frears, 2000



Maybe having to study this in high school ruined it for me, but there's definitely something unappealing about watching an entire movie about John Cusack moping about the state of his life to the sound of classic pop music. Throwing in Jack Black doesn't really sweeten the deal either.

#82 - Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
Liam Lynch, 2006



Speaking of Jack Black...I'm honestly surprised that a comedy dedicated to the epic brilliance of rock didn't do anything for me whatsoever. No laughs, no "whoa" moments, no nothing.

#81 - Shoot 'Em Up
Michael Davis, 2007



Okay, so it was actually kind of cool the first time around, but any attempt to watch it after that only serves to expose how crap it is.

Oooo man, you're courting trouble. Some of these make me want to start a "Yoda's Best Movies on Iro's Worst Movies Ever" thread.

Hmmm... I can see where you're coming from with most of the ones on your list... but I can't believe you don't like Long Duk Dong...

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You're welcome to try. I already knew that a lot of movies I dislike are not totally awful and definitely not the "worst movies ever", but hell, you can't deny this makes it more interesting.

Plus Rep from me for being ballsy. I am just pretending I didn't see High Fidelity.

I actually thought Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was one of the better Potter movies...

But I like how this list is more different than most worst lists... not necessarily a good thing.

I've only seen 4 of the above films, mainly because the others looked so bad that I didn't even bother. I've tried to watch a few of them (Moonwalker, Super Mario Brother) but got bored or annoyed and gave up. Saw some of Batman & Robin and liked the campness of it, but then I think the '66 Batman is second only to Batman Returns, so I do plan to return to that sometime.

6 million?
(cha-ching, Shows credit card)
Batman: 7-million. Never leave the cave without it.

Thought it belonged in this thread.

I can honestly say that most of the films on here have been 50/50. As in half of them I totally expected to see on this list and the other half are a total surprise.

I'm not sure which is worse. A lot of the great flicks on your list or the fact that you actually sat through Moonwalker.

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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

I'm not sure either.

#80 - Top Gun
Tony Scott, 1986



Yeah, I went there. Riddled with just enough '80s cheese to render it unwatchable, weak action sequences, bland acting and writing that renders it wide open to merciless parody - ergh. At least Val Kilmer was kind of cool in it.

#79 - Transformers
Michael Bay, 2007



The CGI and action used for the Transformers themselves is pretty decent - the rest of the film, a whole two-and-a-half hours dedicated to humans that you barely care about, now that just stabs the film's goodness through the heart. God forbid I actually see the second film, which is apparently much worse.

#78 - Performance
Nicolas Roeg & Donald Cammell, 1970



Might cop some flak for this one, but when you try to go all for provocative counter-culture art and it backfires by being incredibly boring and almost pointless to witness, you're probably doing something wrong. Of course, since Performance is an art film, my opinion barely counts, but damn, I was expecting...well, hell, I got what I was expecting, and it was pretty unremarkable.

#77 - Two Thousand Maniacs!
Herschell Gordon Lewis, 1964



I don't know why I bother watching movies of such dubious quality, especially in the case of a film by a director who openly derided the notion of film as an artistic medium. At least half the deaths are kind of cool (the barrel roll, anyone?), but they are the high points in what is an otherwise terrible movie.

#76 - Undead
Spierig brothers, 2003



Australia's best zombie movie has just about everything that could make a successful movie - an innovative twist on zombie/horror conventions, unusual action/gore, an interesting DIY aesthetic - but ultimately those things kind of shoot it in the foot and it renders the movie kind of unwatchable.

#75 - xXx2: State of the Union
Lee Tamahori, 2005



It's not my fault that big action movies are such an easy target for "very bad movie" material, but damn, this was terrible. At least like a good few movies on this list it had an always-watchable ham on board in the form of Willem Dafoe.

#74 - Blade
Stephen Norrington, 1998



I know this is definitely going to piss some people off. The concept's kind of awesome - half-vampire assassin works to bring down a veritable army of vampires by using swords and guns - but hell, the movie was executed poorly enough so that the premise was virtually ruined (for me at least).

#73 - Straight to Hell
Alex Cox, 1987



Alex Cox is an interesting director - Repo Man is one of my favourite movies, but everything else he's done has ranged from sort of okay to being so incredibly idiosyncratic it hurts. This film - a half-baked homage to Spaghetti westerns starring a real rogue's gallery of punks and character actors, including the always dependable Dennis Hopper - is a hell of an incoherent mess to the point where it's almost as mesmerising as Repo Man, but damn, is it tough to get through without hearing yourself ask why you're bothering.

#72 - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
John R. Leonetti, 1997



The original film was fairly crap in its own right, but it's still a masterpiece of videogame cinema compared to its sequel. Despite its occasional piece of so-bad-it's-good cheese ("Suckerrrrrrs!"), there's plenty of good reasons why I haven't bothered watching it again.

#71 - Twilight
Catherine Hardwicke, 2008



It's almost too easy to throw Twilight on here - the franchise has been a serious whipping-boy for about half the world's population for years now. While the film is at least laughably bad, that's the only real entertainment I really got out of what was an otherwise painfully pedestrian film.

You knew this was coming. BLADE?!? BLADE!?!?! I admit it's got more goofs than a Mel Brookes movie but it's fantastically entertaining! You are on a wind up, mate!

On the fence about Performance after watching it again, though. It's very artistic but I can kinda of see what you mean by pointless.

I do agree with your other features though. Originally I was going to have a go at you for also including Shoot 'Em Up, but when I read what you wrote underneath it made me think you could probably be right. I don't see myself rushing to see it again. That said I don't think it deserves to be on the list. It's a hollow, violent film but it gets points for making it very clear that it knows it.

I think I already established that sometimes a "good" movie will crack this list on the basis of being so incredibly underwhelming that it's practically a bad movie and felt like just as much a waste of my time as any other genuinely bad movie I've seen. I'm willing to accept that they might actually be better if I gave them a second or third chance, but that's at some point in the unforeseeable future and I'm making my list now. So...yeah.