MoFo Fantasy Football 2009: Week 6


Ahhhh Yeahhhh! The air is much better up here in the middle of the pack no? Yes. That's right ladies and germs PW is Movin' on up! Please be so kind as to clicky the brief musical interlude so's you can also enjoy my little reverie.


Yes indeed. Tis a fine thing when a plan starts coming together and now to see my little Odd Squad going out there and beginning to really put on a show. Well, it does my heart good. And now to really top things off a one Mr. Steve Smith is joining the Odd Squad along with Tashard Choice's running mate Felix (maybe I'll stay healthy for at least one game this year) Jones! Good times. I now have global MoFo domination firmly in my sights and all I need is for everyone that plays me from here on out to simply score less points than I and I'll be in business. Deal? Sweet.

And now onto more important things as our cute little Badger already pointed out PW swung and missed on his game between Gadsden and the Hired Goons. Oh well, nobodies perfect. I am however pretty damn close I reckon. I'm not even getting tired of this yet either. How cool is that? Long story short it was another 5-2 week for me and by my count I stand at 24-11. Not bad, not bad at all. Obviously we need a sportsbook.

What's that you say? Who's going to win this week? Well, allow me to retort.

PW's Odd Squad vs 11 Angry Men

Oh boy. So here I am faced with the choice of taking my little Odd Squad who are obviously not going to lose another game all year and the Angry Men who are on a spectacular roll and while they may not be quite as angry as they once were (because of the winning you know) they are still just rolling along and basically just dismantling every team they have played with the exception of one week so far. And yet, they won that game too. What to do, what to do. If I just look at the matchups it appears on paper that I have a pretty favorable schedule compared to Yoda and yet this season has proven more so than maybe any year I can remember that the NFL is the most unpredictable league, like, ever. So, I'm predicting that whoever scores the most points in our little game will win. Easy Peasy Japaneasy.

My pick: 11 Angry Men, unless I score more points... then I win. Yeah.

DaBears vs. Flash

DaBears fresh off a win last week look to continue their winning ways this week against team Flash. Flash has several key guys on bye this week, including Peyton Manning who looks to be perhaps the MVP of the NFL as of right now. Tough luck buddy. Yahoo has DaBears as the heavy favorite and rightly so. Flash is making some nice moves though and his recent addition of Bell may help him quite bit down the road and perhaps this week as well because its possible Bell will see some goal line work instead of Thomas for New Orleans, which would make me happy because I have to face Thomas this week. Still though I don't think it will be enough but may make the game a lot more interesting than Yahoo is predicting it right now.

My pick: DaBears = Sausage and Ditka

Hired Goons vs. The Taterators

Interesting Game. Hired Goons has put a nice little 3 game winning streak of his own put together after starting off 0-2 and now is right in the thick of things, The Taters are still vying for their first win of the season. Could this be the week? Tater is getting some more running back help from Team Tongo and he also has Ryan Grant on his bench who could provide the spark he needs to get over the proverbial hump. Hard to pick against a streak though.

My pick: Hired Goons, "Gooney Goo Goo Gus!"

Gadsden Flag vs. I-L-M-F

F%@# Sims- Walker! Was the cry heard around the basements and ground floor apartments where most fantasy footballers reside. And yet Gadsden Flag is still right in the middle of things so all is not lost. While on the flipside Bobby's free fall continues. While I appreciate that he does appear to take the time to at least update his roster before Sunday I'm afraid that just isn't going to be good enough to make any noise in this very competitive league. If he doesn't start making some moves he may be awarded the first ever Cone of Shame award.

My pick: Gadsden Flag, in the dark

The Replicants vs. TONGO

What can be better for an ailing team than a week versus team TONGO and his ever changing lineup? The 'Bots get most of their guys back this week and are big favorites right now without Megatron who may or may not play on Sunday. We probably won't know until right before game time but Seds may not even need him, we'll see. TONGO's team will look quite a bit different (again!) by Sunday so Seds may do a little tweaking of his own to adjust.

My pick: 'Bots, back in the saddle again

Team Darcy vs. Slug's Sweeties

Oh yeah, now this is what fantasy football is all about! Wives not speaking to their husbands. Uncomfortable silences. Steely stares and lots of cold rooms. Sluggo looks to keep on the winning track but to do so he'll have to take out his lovely wife who is absolutely rolling folks. We'll know by Sunday if Darcy's silent treatment game plan worked, if Slug suddenly benches half his team in order to allow Team Darcy to waltz to 6-0. I'm not holding my breath, unless perhaps she goes so far as to spike Sluggo's Taco Bell taco sauce and in a fit of delirium, he cuts half his team. She may not have to however because judging by Slug's new avatar he's already got his mind firmly set on Thanksgiving and turkey so she may very well get past him by blackmailing him with the threat of no turkey for T-day. We shall see, we shall see.

My pick: Team Darcy, biscuits and gravy!

Wolverines vs. Beantown Champs

Last week Beantown mentioned that he was piloting a sinking ship. Maybe, maybe not. Things don't get any easier for him this week that's for certain. Wolvie's heavy hitters are all pretty much back this week and are looking to keep themselves firmly planted in the 3 hole in hopes that perhaps Team Darcy or the 11 Angry Men drop a game.

My pick: Wolverines, "It's kind of strange, isn't it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all. You laugh or you cry... The wind just keeps on blowing." - Jed Eckert

And there you have it MoFo's, be kind and rewind!
We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

"Money won is twice as sweet as money earned."

The World's Smallest Violin

Tongos grumpy review i.e. 1-4 my balls!

11 Angry Men Vs PWs Odd Squad

Whoever scores the most points? Aw hell please let me get some table scraps from this game! Point fiesta will be upon us when these two highest scoring teams not only vie to beat each other, but beat my highest score in one game record set last year. Projected scores - Angry Men 118.81 & Odd Squad 132.63 Deciding factor?! The Patriots are up against Tenn and Angry Mens Saints against the Giants
Odd Squad wins, and head explodes from ego boost. Next weeks review begins with PW choosing Right Said Freds "Im too sexy" Im too sexy for this shirt. So sexy it huuuurts...

TONGO Vs The Replicants

In a shocking move on my part I made 2 trades this week! Anyway Jamal Lewis is up against Pittsburgh, but Caddy & Julius have scored less against weaker teams Watch the both of them get 20 each for Flash those #%&@!! Nate Burleson will be a good addition to my roster, but am I going to beat the Reps?! hell no im getting my ass whooped like a narc at a biker rally
The Replicants duplicate a monster truck vs Bambi scenario Wait! Oakland could play McNabb tough!

Hired Goons Vs The Taterators

I predict a upset! Tater you better change your lineup! Do not pull a Bobby cause unlike him you post here, moderate here, and we will use the peer pressure! Willis McGahees best point days are behind him as Ray Rice is the primary RB in Baltimore. Inconsistent WRs plague Goons (Eddie Royal & Terrel Owens).
Tater fries the Goons!

Wolverines Vs Beantown Champs

With Forte added into Wolvies lineup both projected points are about dead even. The Champs Matt Ryan and Jenkins are back! (Psst! Beantown play Bush over Chester) I gotta go with the Wolverines because Chester Taylor & Leon Washington look like glaring weaknesses. Now that Ive said that theyll score up too 20 points each (see Mewelde Moore)
Wolverines win in a two page spread comic book jargon

Gadsed Flag Vs I.L.M.F.
Bllah blah blah
Gadsden wins because the other team couldnt make it

Da Bears Vs Flash

The dreaded Colts Bye week! If history is any indicator in this situation Flash will be on track to score 200 points (See Angry Men last week). Sorry, but no.
Da Bears eat Flash

Team Darcy Vs Slugs Sweeties

I mispoke when saying Angry Men Vs Odd Squad was the game of the week cause actually this one is. I didnt know Slug & Darcy were married?! Well someones sleeping on the couch after this one. The ONLY reason Ill go with Darcy is because of Slugs 2 WRs on same team being played. Its a weakness that hurt him well it will hurt him this week. Breaston and Boldin are up against the 9th highest rated pass defense inthe Seahawks. ooooo! aaaaah!
Team Darcy wins, and both her and Slug due to the divorce take Jon & Kates airtime on Entertainment Tonight. I wish


The World's Smallest Violin
I think I deserve a gimme after last week.

In Bobby's defense, he's actually done a fine job of updating his lineup; everyone assumes otherwise because he always seems to wait until mid-Saturday, but his only lapse was playing LT in week 2.

Re: my matchup with PW. Yeah, I'm in big trouble this week. I've got the Saints going up against the Giants, and he's got Brady and Welker going against the Titans. Rice against Minnesota isn't just the only bad matchup on his end; it's the only one that isn't very good.

I've got Witten on a bye, too. None of PW's usual starters are on a bye. D'oh! So, twice in a row, I have significant bye week players out, against an opponent with no significant players out, and both weeks my opponent has a Top 5 QB going against the Titan pass defense. It's a friggin' gauntlet. I'm mainly just pointing this out in advance to explain what I'm pretty sure is going to be my first loss.

Anyway, if I had to put money on this, I'd definitely bet against myself. To win, I probably need a solid day out of Brees, about 45-50 points combined out of all three of my backs, and I need a sub-10 day out of either Rice or Shockey, possibly both. This is assuming nobody completely blanks, or completely goes off, of course (wherefore art thou, Miles Austin? To bye to not to bye?).

I know Bobby is updating his roster, I'm just busting his balls. He hasn't disappeared completely like he did last season but he isn't exactly on top of it either yeah? Its cool though, Tater is going to knock someone off this year and it might as well be him.

Da Bears Vs Flash

The dreaded Colts Bye week! If history is any indicator in this situation Flash will be on track to score 200 points (See Angry Men last week). Sorry, but no.
Da Bears eat Flash
Yeah, I might get "eaten", but I sure hope to give some heartburn and trots to those Bears. I mean we all know what they do in the woods anyway.

Siiiigh. Well I think Ive hit the end of my road this week for trading. Mentally exhausting stuff.

Im intrigued and excited about one of my new acquisitions in Jamal Lewis. In his prime he was second too none, and that includes Adrian Peterson. Hes older and gimpier, but he ran 100 yds in that Buffallo Ice Bowl, and singlehandedly (with the kicker but they dont count) beat the Bills. The Browns Derek Anderson is utterly useless, Jerome Harrison already been passed by Jamal in stats, and I hope hes an earner cause he seems to be their only glimmer of hope. I really liked Cadillac Williams but the Bucs schedule is just too damn tough, and they arent.

I just traded Carolinas Steve Smith for Nate Burleson. Whats truly sad is I had Burleson on my roster at one time, probably dropped him for some Derp, and now I traded Steve Smith for him back! Patience - I aint got it. Poor Powdered Water barely made the deal happen cause Burlesons been earning, not consistent, but ALOT more than Smith. I hope Smith makes tons of points for PW because Ill klnow then he didnt only because he was on my team.

Oh **** Ive become the Buccaneers! Every player that leaves my franchise wins a Super Bowl! AUUUGH!

I ain't gettin' in no fryer!
Come on Taters! Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

Come on Taters! Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
No Daddy needs to get Ryan Grant in his lineup pronto! Please Tater youre scaring the hell out of me

I ain't gettin' in no fryer!
No Daddy needs to get Ryan Grant in his lineup pronto! Please Tater youre scaring the hell out of me
I already accepted the trade, I'm at the mercy of Yahoo to expedite it now.

No Tate you have Grant on your bench now. The trade will only put Caldwell in Washingtons normal slot, but only if you choose. The rest you can change now. Maybe you dont even want to play Caldwell Idk, but Washingtons been disappointing.

Naturally. Check out how solid and consistent he's been: 13.7, 13.8, 11.4, 14.1. Pretty reliable, and I can't imagine he's not going to put up similar numbers against Detroit.

Meanwhile, Pierre Thomas was a bit limited in practice, and now there's a chance Mike Bell steals some carries, including some near the goal line. Ugh. I didn't like my chances even before this news.

I still think I've gotta play Thomas, given that this isn't a new injury and he's been great even playing with it the last couple of weeks, and I don't have any other great options going with Cotchery likely out (which moves Hightower into the Flex spot for me). Looking very ominous this week. I think I'll put up a very respectable score (100-110), but I don't think respectable's going to get it done this week. I don't think I can win without at least 120, barring something crazy.

Even though I am pretty much a big time “lose” in the league, I am having a great time. I can make myself feel better by saying my rec really should be 3/2, but who wants to hear that whinny crap? Not me. It certainly has changed how I watch football and just about any game on tv has a reason for me to watch it, where in the past if it was not one of “my” teams then I was not too interested. I am actually thinking about getting NFL Sunday tic next year just because of this. Cannot really afford it right now otherwise would go ahead and take that plunge. Hopefully next year things will start looking better but either way I got the internet and as long as it is avail I will be a part of FF. Ya know I have another team on another league and I am in 2nd place, but I just do not really care about it that much. The managers there are never online and one of the reasons I am 2nd is because they never show up to make changes, where is the fun in that? I think it would be cool to have two leagues on here with diff rules – I actually have an idea of having “team” teams where two members control certain positions. Oh well sry for rambling and I definitely do not wanna step on any toes by suggesting anything, just ideas floating ‘round in my head for next year. This year is not even half over yet either. Anyway on to this weeks stuff:

5-0 VS 3-2

Well someone certainly is gonna be a Turkey in this game. If Slugs could get those turkey legs on Westbrook he might have a go at it, but Darcy has got to be the best "rounded" team on the league imo. I think this one will be pretty close, but the Mon night game will be the diff.

My Pick: Darcy makes some stuffing and gravy and has an early

3-2 VS 0-5

The spuds have a chance and this will be a good game, almost as good as a baked potato with cheeder cheese on top. I think Big Ben comes out with a big game and makes the diff.

My Pick: Taters loose the goose egg.

1-4 VS 3-2

Will be a fun game to watch since some of my old players are in Tongs lineup. I think many of us can say that . However it is time for Maurice to break out

My Pick: The Replicants go apeshix all over Tongs.

5-0 VS 2-3

This seems like it will be a good one and both teams may score big, but I think PW will score more biggerer. I am hoping Bell will take away some points from The Angry ones, not because it is personal, just because I have Bell in my lineup this week .

My Pick: PW's Oddities pop the "O" of The Angry guys. Well unless he has one player who scores almost 50!!!!!

4-1 VS 3-2

This looks to be a nailbiter, but I think Wolvies pull it out with Mendenhall having a big day.

My Pick: Wolverines, but ony just.

2-3 VS 1-4

Gads has this one unless some quick change can be made.

My Pick: Gads in a runaway

1-4 VS 2-3

My bye week. Not much more to say other than being 1-4 not sure how much of a diff it makes. Anyway I hope to at least make this one close - like 68 to 110, that is close right? Strangely enough we have similar avatars, old men and light coming from their hands. I think my avatar is more "Flashy", therefore for that reason only I win.

My Pick: Flash zaps Bears

Only one crazy prediction this week: I win.

The World's Smallest Violin
Great post, Pumpkinhead

I completely agree - this is THE fantasy league. I'd also love to see a MOFO1 & MOFO2 league next year.